1. AJ Winters
    Offline

    AJ Winters Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0

    Which Sci-Fi... for now?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by AJ Winters, Nov 10, 2011.

    Long story short:

    Lot of ideas I'd like to continue working on, but as soon as I start one, another call to me and I turn my attention to it. So I thought I'd work on the one that is most appealing to the members of the Writing Forums community. I have small (not really) summaries of the ideas below (keep in mind these are my Sci-Fi-possibly-cliche ideas) All comments are welcome.

    JEREMIAH WOODS (post-apocalyptic/Xmen/JJ Abrams type of theme)
    It is the year 2016, seven years after a man-made disaster, known as The Storm, wiped most of Earth's inhabitants from existence. Those that survive suffer the effects of the disaster - a physical adoption of the material they last had contact with during The Storm (eg. wood, steel, sand etc). A community of survivors grows stronger each day, with the intention of finding a cure and rebuilding the world, among them a bitter, modern day warrior named Jeremiah Woods.
    However, a Scientist (partly responsible for The Storm) wants to rebuild the world his way and will do anything he can to get his hands on the human rumored to have survived The Storm completely unharmed. The human being a stubborn, fifteen year old girl.
    Jeremiah is instructed to retrieved the unaffected human and return her to the community, all the while battling the Swarm (followers of the Scientist whose abilities have been enhanced) and battling the girl’s personality.
    What could go wrong?


    NIGHT RUNNER
    (modern day/action/teen/superhero type of theme)
    Rosh and Zanthe are two bright, but bored teenagers living in New York, the city in which criminals don’t stand a chance against the likes of Superheroes like Captain Pryde, Thundero and [insert another superhero name here]. Wanting excitement back in the city, Rosh and Zanthe consider investigating the whereabouts of a once-famous Supervillain they were told about, but don’t follow through, convinced that the idea is stupid.
    They change their minds, however, when they accidentally stumble across said Supervillain; The Night Runner. Rosh and Zanthe convince to return to his old ways and, with their help, The Night Runner successfully brings excitement and terror back to the streets of New York – but under one condition.
    He must not kill.
    Everything’s going well – until the Superheroes become disgruntled. The Night Runner has defeated and evaded them at multiple levels and their popularity is starting to drop and something must be done about it - no matter what it takes.
    Perhaps Superheroes aren't always the good guys.



    THE VOLUNTEERS
    (modern day/sci-fi but serious/action type of theme)
    A week since the murder of his wife, a molecular biologist, Ben Johnson is slowly adjusting to life with his daughter, Hailey (not his biological daughter – Ben married Sara when she as pregnant and her boyfriend abandoned her).
    But when he and his daughter are targeted by a group of people possessing inhuman abilities, he begins to question what his wife’s real occupation was.
    So, to spoil everything – Sara White (wife) was a molecular biologist, but she worked under the alias of Emily Forthes. She believed that the drug/antibiotic she created could have an affect on both physical and mental ailments (still figuring a out a more scientific approach to this). Working secretly with the government, Sara rounded up a group of volunteers (hence the title), all with different illnesses or injuries and all sworn to keep the trial a secret.
    Of course, it doesn’t work entirely the way Sara wants it, does it? The symptoms of each volunteers is reversed (loosely), so:
    Osteoporosis (brittle bone) -> enhanced ‘super’ strength
    Paraplegia -> teleportation
    Leprosy (or something) -> physical transformation (think Mystique from Xmen but without the blue spikes and whatever)
    Electrocution -> control of electricity
    Hypochondria -> ability to make others believe they are in pain etc.
    Common Cold -> Death (simplest of ailments, yet kills the volunteer)
    Death -> not being able to die

    So these ‘Volunteers’ vow revenge (or something like that) and want to retrieve the antidote that Sara White made (in case of such a scenario arising). Different motives for different characters for trying to get the antidote, but Sara’s hidden it somewhere… blah… and yeah… that’s where I sort of get stuck.

    So what d’you think?
     
  2. Jhunter
    Offline

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Southern California
    I personally like "The Volunteers" the most.
     
  3. WriterDude
    Offline

    WriterDude Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2011
    Messages:
    738
    Likes Received:
    37
    Location:
    Icy cold wastes of Hell. Aka Norway.
    Um... if Jeremiah Woods take place in 2016 and The Storm was seven years before that, you're saying most inhabitants on Earth was wiped out two years ago? Funny, I haven't noticed anything weird where I live. ;) Other than that, I care more about the actual story than the premise. A great premise doesn't matter at all if you can't turn it into a great story, and even a boring premise can be a great story. Look at Lord of the Rings. The whole premise is a short guy throwing a ring into a volcano. Sounds really fun, huh. :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. ferociousimplosion
    Offline

    ferociousimplosion New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado Springs, CO
    I definitely like The Volunteers the best, AJ. It has the potential to be a crazy intricate novel, if you so desire. The only REAL suggestion I have is coming up with the reason for Ben to be involved in the whole thing. Was he part of his wife's work? Did she leave part of the cure/antedote with their daughter (like in a present? or mixing it with her DNA?). How is it that the "mutants" know who they really want to go after? And how in the world can Ben even ImAGINE trying to protect his daughter from these supper-illness people if he's just a normal guy? Does he have some hidden secret? I guess it's kind of like a mystery for the main character too, because while the "mutants" are hunting him and his daughter down, he has to go around trying to figure out why, what they want, and what he's suppose to do about it (not much of a story if all he does is run away). Perhaps some clues stuck in there to his wife's past? Insane asylums? Under-funded hospitals/clinics? Crazy college professors? (or people who were into the same thing as her). These are definitely questions that I would want answsers if I was READING the thing, so they're things to think about with your plot progression. Good ideas though.
    Hope it helps and good luck!
     
  5. AJ Winters
    Offline

    AJ Winters Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wow, thanks for the fast replies, guys! Normally I'd be waiting weeks for them. :)

    I'm glad you like The Volunteers, JHunter; it was the first idea that I ever came up with and have held on to for ages. Once I'm able to post in the Novel section, would you mind reading and reviewing an excerpt?

    WriterDude, thanks for bringing the issue of the year up. I made a mistake. The year should have been 2019. See, I wanted to put in the story that everyone had laughed at the idea of the apocalypse being at the end of 2012 and then, a few months later in 2013, the apocalypse (Storm) caught them off guard. :)
    You made a good point also about how it's not all about the premise - I shall remember your words about Lord of Rings (should get me out of a few writer's block moments).

    Hey, ferociousimplosion, I left out some (rough) points:

    *The trial took place on July 14th (reaction happened immediately)
    *The story takes place a year later - a week after Sara was killed (not telling you who killed her yet mwa ha ha ha ha!!! ... actually I'm not telling you cause I don't know who kills her yet. :rolleyes:
    *The leader of the volunteers has tracked down the rest of volunteers (bar one) and has convinced them to join him in seeking revenge
    *The volunteers interrogated (and basically killed) those who assisted in the trial (the story opens with one of the volunteers interrogating a man involved) - through the interrogations, they find out Emily's Forthes is Sara White (they investigate from there)
    *Ben coaches boxing (so that he can defend himself in shape of form)
    *The only volunteer whose powers Ben wouldn't be able to match would be the guy who controls electricity (who is a minor character/idiot who can't harm Ben under the leader's rule and ends up killing himself first) and the leader himself (super strength), but does not use his ability against Ben to kill him for he is certain that Ben knows where the antidote is.
    *Everyone basically uses guns (pew pew!) and knives - gets more interesting with the introduction of a Magneto-ish guy later on
    *Sara would have sections of the government cover up for if her occupation was questioned - so Ben always believed that she was a molecular biologist at a university or something (every loophole would be covered, every alibi well thought-out etc)
    *One of the volunteers (a young man who was found dead and used in the trial - and now cannot die) is against the idea of revenge (had spoken to Sara) and breaks away from the volunteers to warn Ben and Hailey (would give Ben the gun etc, and inform of him of what was going on)
    *Ben wants to find the antidote and hand it over to authorities/scientists who could use it against the volunteers and stop them
    *The overall motive for the volunteers is a bit hazy - Ben first thinks that they want to be back to normal - then he realizes that they want to destroy it so it can't be used against them [might need to rethink this]

    *Motives:
    Gospol Salone (osteoporosis, about 44 yrs old) - was a senator/congressman who was unsuccessful in his career (laughed at for his cane and disability etc) - wants to regain power
    Markus Aeron (hypochondria, about 29 yrs old) - Markus had anxiety/depression all his life due to hypochondria. Now solely serves Gospol (his father figure) who promises him a better, more powerful life
    Vorgan Pryde (paraplegic, about 37 yrs old) - his fiancee, Grace, didn't want him to participate in the trail alone. She had the common cold when she joined, but died. Vorgan wants to avenge her... [rethinking how]
    Charity West (leprosy about 30 yrs old) - Charity's been shunned all her life due to leprosy. Now serves Gospol who promises her a better, more powerful life
    Wade Patterson (electrocuted about 23 yrs old) - young, idiotic. Promised power and wealth from Gospol
    Jason Espy (dead, about 20 yrs old) - bad upbringing, shot in an alley fight. Knows what Gospol's going to do. Helps Ben and Hailey
    Jonathon Mrez (about 67 yrs old) - the link to Sara's real occupation... that's all I'm saying for now... hehehe...

    Audrey West (about 35 yrs old) - sister of Charity. Policewoman/FBI. One the handful of people who know of the volunteers and their plan. Helps Ben but is conflicted by the relationship with her sister [rethinking this]. Potential love interest for Ben.

    It all seems a lot, but the back story for each character would not drag on in the story. Their all main characters, but the most predominant would be Ben, Hailey, Gospol, Audrey, Jason and, later, Mrez.

    I'm still not sure about the antidote (which will most likely be sort of an auto injector like an epipen). There would be many fake ones and ones designed for other things. They would all have different combination labeled on them, e.g. EF22-016 etc. So I think Gospol would think that Sara would've told Ben or Hailey a certain combination, even if they didn't know what it was for. [If anyone has a better idea, feel free to share it]

    To give you a clearer picture of the characters' looks and speech, I've based them off real people/actors:
    Ben - Will Smith
    Hailey - my daughter
    Jason - Garrett Hedlund
    Gospol - Samuel L. Jackson
    Markus - Cillian Murphy
    Vorgan - Paul Bettany
    Charity - Jessica Biel
    Wade - Cam Gigandet
    Audrey - Lena Headey
    Grace - Jennifer Connely
    Mrez - Ian McKellen
    Sara - my wife

    Sorry for the very long post. :)
     
  6. AJ Winters
    Offline

    AJ Winters Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    [Double Post]
     
  7. Jhunter
    Offline

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Southern California
    I have no problem reviewing the excerpt. When you post it send me a private message so I know it is there.
     
  8. AJ Winters
    Offline

    AJ Winters Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks, JHunter, and sorry for not only posting that long reply, but for posting it twice. :)
     
  9. Jhunter
    Offline

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Southern California
    No worries about the double post. It happens to all of us. We usually just edit the second one and have it say "double post" when it happens.
     
  10. ferociousimplosion
    Offline

    ferociousimplosion New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado Springs, CO
    Long posts are not to be ashamed of! If you're the one asking for advice/criticism, and you want to share ideas, even if it's not your own thread, WRITE AWAY!!!! That's what we're here for. I really like the fact that you put all the rest of that info out here, because then....I would like to actually READ IT! Send me an excerpt too when you get around to writing a part that you want to share. This sounds pretty cool (I'd read it anyways....if it was published), and I'd love to help with ideas, and general editing.

    I can tell you're ridiculously passionate and excited about this novel idea (haha, get it?), and it rubs off. So now I am too! If it's any consolation to getting to it faster...DO IT NOW!!!

    Feel free to private message me or post again if you have any questions/need something.
     
  11. AJ Winters
    Offline

    AJ Winters Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks! I'm getting along with it quite well, though I get writer's block quite a bit. It's mainly the little scenes or conversations that are more of fillers... there are difficult to write sometimes. :(
     

Share This Page