1. Skyeewriter
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    Skyeewriter New Member

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    Who to make the murderer?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Skyeewriter, Oct 31, 2008.

    Hi I'm skyee and have been writing a Murder mystery sory for a murder mystery night. I have been working hard writing the outlines for each charactor and what they know already but I dont know who to make the murderer! Any help would be much apprciated.

    I have been thinking of having a couple of people ultimatly responsible by using blackmail as they all know some thing about one of the other characters. Its quite a common story line so doubt i'll be getting any awards for originality in the near future!

    Please feel free to criteque!

    Who killed Ford Bayonnette?

    Story

    The deceased
    Ford Bayonnette was a wealthy old gent who had recently married a young lady. There is a prenuptial agreement that in the case of him being murdered she will not inherit any of his estate unless it can be proved that she was not the murderer and had not paid anyone else or arranged the murder in any way.

    The body was discovered at 7PM and the approximate time of death was between 3.30 and 4.30. The cause of death is at yet unknown.

    Only the PI has seen the body and has conducted tests to determine the cause of death, which shall be revealed later on that evening.

    There are a number of people that have information that could help to solve the murder and some have useless information. Work out what is good and what is not needed to solve the mystery!


    Characters are in brief
    1 The butler
    2 the wife
    3 The sister of the wife
    4 The son of the deceased
    5 The daughter of the deceased
    6 The ex wife of the deceased
    7 The old friend of the deceased and a lord
    8 The cook
    9 The maid
    10 Private Investigator

    Characters in detail

    The Butler
    Henry Greyson has worked for Bayonnette for a number of years and has been privy to some tales of horror, crime and inhuman behaviour.
    Bayonnette had told him that he was responsible for the death of his new young wife’s father a few years ago.

    This was an accident where the younger Bayonnette was out shooting one evening when he saw a pheasant and took aim. He missed the pheasant and discovered he had shot a Mr Benjamin Haynes. It was only much later (some time after the wedding) did he discover it was his wife’s father.

    The Butler has remained a loyal servant to the Bayonnette family although he hates Ford Bayonnette for sacking the old cook as they were having a secret affair. After she was sacked she committed suicide and now Greyson wants revenge for this.

    The other people he thinks are responsible are Sally Haynes and the messenger that came to house for Lord Phillip Falconer. Sally, as she demanded that the cook remove the bottles of Whisky from the larder and the messenger for knocking in to the cook subsequently creating the explosion. The messenger was hurt in the explosion and received burns to the hands and arms. Greyson never saw the messenger as he was off duty when she was at the house.

    Greyson knows that Marcy hates Sally and would do anything to get rid of her.

    Greyson knows that George Bayonnette who is Ford Bayonnette’s Son did has gambling debts and is an alcoholic and some times doesn’t know what he is doing when he is very drunk.

    Elizabeth Bayonnette who used to be married to Ford, moved out of the family home after she was accused of trying to find out what was in Ford’s will,


    Lord falconer has been a regular visitor to the house and is always up to something. Bayonnette and Falconer often drink late in to the night and Falconer likes to drink and has been known to have a prostitute or two on occasion.

    Charlie, the new cook, has only been around for 4 months and was employed by Bayonnette after the old cook was sacked. Greyson doesn’t have an opinion either way about her and hasn’t really spoken to her.

    Tracey Walter is the daughter of the Old cook and doesn’t know of the affair they had. He knows that she thinks the messenger was to blame but was grateful for Bayonnette for letting her keep her job after the fire. She needs the job more than ever since she is on her own now.

    Greyson has access to every part of the house.

    The Wife
    Sally Bayonnette nee Haynes is devastated at the death of her now late husband and is in a sorry state. She needs to know who committed the murder so she can inherit the family fortune and says she has plans to share the wealth with the children of Bayonnette.

    She was with the cook around the approximate time of the death right up till the time the body was found but as you can never be sure what time exactly the death took place she can not use this as an alibi.

    Sally hired the cook 4 months ago, as she is an old friend who she has known for many years although she will deny this if she is ever asked. She knows if any food was to kill Bayonnette then she would be blamed and they would assume that she has plotted with the cook

    The old cook was sacked after causing an explosion by throwing a whisky bottle on the fire. She said that the messenger from Lord Phillip Falconer was in the kitchen at the time and was responsible but she was not believed and was sacked.

    Sally dislikes Greyson and thinks he has been spying on her and holds some sort of grudge for the sacking of the old cook although she has no idea why.

    Sally’s sister Fiona introduced her and Bayonnette.

    Sally’s father went missing many years ago and Sally has no idea of what happened to him or where he went. Sally also knows that since he disappeared her mother has accrued many debts that she is desperate to pay off. Sally has been saving her allowance to send to her mother to help her pay off these debts.

    George Bayonnette has been really kind to Sally since she meet Ford Bayonnette and seems to really like her.

    Marcy who is Ford Bayonnetes daughter has been a complete bitch and told Forc that Sally was a gold digger. All Sally knows is that Ford refused to believe his daughters lies. Sally knows that Marcy hates her and fears that Marcy is trying get rid of her.

    Ford’s Ex Wife Elizabeth didn’t have much contact with her but she did speak to Ford on regular basis.

    Lord Falconer was Ford’s friend and they often drank to excess and Lord Falconer often brought prostitutes in the house. It was after one night when Falconer had too much to drink and something happened that she demanded that all the drink was taken from the Larder and hidden. Sally told the old cook to do this but part way through she threw a bottle in to the fire and it exploded hurting a messenger that worked for Lord Falconer. Sally demanded that Bayonnette sacked her immediately and quickly talked Bayonnette in to employing Charlie for the job.

    Sally told the Maid that she was responsible for talking Bayonnette in to letting her keep her job after she discovered that the old cook had committed suicide. This got the maid on to her side.
    The sister of the wife
    Fiona Haynes is a lovely bubbly lady who is always chuckling and laughing. She has developed a strong Glaswegian accent since moving to Glasgow after her father went missing a few years ago.

    She has always been sure that her father was murdered and got rid off and now she is sure that some one from the house of Bayonnette was the murderer. She managed to talk her sister in to meeting with Ford Bayonnette and as luck would have it the silly old fools fell in love! This gave her the opportunity to sneak around and discover the truth about her father’s murder one evening when she over heard Bayonnette and Greyson the butler talking.

    Fiona doesn’t spend much time with her sister but when she stays down she likes to keep a low profile. She has never spoken to George Bayonnette, Ford’s son or Elizabeth Bayonnette who was his ex wife.

    She has heard Marcy on the phone to someone questioning about Sally’s background and family debts. As far as she can tell Marcy has employed a Private investigator to get information about sally and her family.

    Fiona is friends with the cook and knows that Sally and the cook are friends and thinks that Sally was very silly to hire her as if he gets food poisoning Sally will get the blame. However Sally is hiding this fact from the family and Fiona has accidently leaked this fact to the Maid.

    Fiona has been watching Lord Falconer as she doesn’t trust him and has seen him and Marcy together. However as she is not around that much she is unable to draw any further conclusions.

    The son of the deceased
    George Bayonnette was thrilled when Sally Haynes came in to his father’s life, as he knew that his father was lonely after his father divorced Mrs Bayonnette 3 years ago.

    George had always felt guilty that his parents had split up and it was neither of their faults. It was George who has been drinking and gambling for many years who arranged for a lady friend to contact the solicitors holding his fathers will and ask for details of who would left what in the case of Bayonnette’s death. The solicitors refused to give the details out and contacted Bayonnette and informed him that his wife was trying to get these details.

    George knows that Bayonnette’s friend and confidant Lord Phillip was the murderer of a prostitute and that if Lord Phillip were ever to discover this he would be killed also. He has decided that he must not tell any one of this secret unless anyone asks him if he knows anything about secrets that Lord Phillip may have had.

    George also knows that Marcy has been seeing Lord Falconer secretly. Marcy hates Sally and would do anything to get rid of her and George suspects Marcy has been plotting with Lord Falconer on how to get rid of Sally.

    George was careful not to speak to Grayson as he knows that Greyson will tell his father that he is an alcoholic and tends to spend most of him time hidden away in his room.

    George has never spoken to Sally’s sister and knows nothing about her other than she introduced his father and Sally.

    George speaks to Elizabeth, his mother, regularly and knows that she paid for a PI to investigate Sally for Marcy. He doesn’t agree with this but has never told them that.

    Charlie Mudge the new cook seems very nice and he has been flirting with her on and off and she has revealed that she has always been friends with Sally. This shocked George but as he knows that Sally loved Bayonnette and understands why she did it.

    Tracey Walter the maid is very quiet since her mother died and doesn’t talk to George.

    George knows of the PI that was hired to investigate Sally and saw her just before the accident in the kitchen, which caused an explosion when a bottle of whisky was dropped on the fire. The PI was burnt in the accident.

    George hates Marcy as she is a spoilt brat who thinks she owns the place and has always looked down him.

    The daughter of the deceased

    Marcy Bayonnette is a young frivolous 30 year old who is still single after flirting around with lots of young lords, dukes and royals and never found Mr Right.

    Marcy is currently sleeping with the Lord Phillip Falconer but this is a secret. She has been plotting with him to get rid of Sally but as yet have not come up with a plan together

    Marcy was jealous of Sally Haynes when they first met as Sally was tall beautiful and sexy. Her mother employed a PI to investigate Sally’s background and discovered not only that her father had mysteriously disappeared but also that the family was much in debt.

    She encouraged her father to pay off the debts hoping that Sally would then show her true colours and leave her father well alone. This was after Bayonnette refused to believe that Sally was a gold digger and leave her.

    Marcy knows that Sally is not aware she was investigated or that her family debts have been paid off. Only Sally Haynes’ Mother knows this.

    Marcy would do anything to get rid of Sally and this fact is well known to the family and staff of the house.

    Marcy knows that Greyson the butler was her father’s right hand man so she was very careful not to reveal her relationship with Falconer to him. In fact she encouraged falconer to take on prostitutes to divert the attentions.

    Marcy doesn’t really care about Fiona who is sally’s sister either way. She never speaks to her and hardly ever sees her.

    George is a snivelling little git in Marcy’s eyes but they does chat every so often. He is so stupid he would never know about her and Lord Falconer.

    Marcy’s mother is happy with her attempts at getting rid of Sally and knows that she will pay for any services that Marcy needs.

    Marcy doesn’t speak to either the new cook or the Maid.

    The ex wife of the deceased
    Elizabeth Bayonnette was married to Ford for 20 years when he accused her of trying to get information about his will from the solicitors. She knew in the past that she has done a number of things to make him suspicious of her and accepted defeat when he asked for a divorce. She took the settlement of 2 million pounds and moved to a new house 2 miles down the road.

    Elizabeth still remained in contact with both her children. Elizabeth was aware of Marcy’s tries to get rid of Sally and applauded her. She even paid for the PI to get the information on Sally. She is also aware that Marcy will do anything to get rid of sally.

    George chats but doesn’t seem to know any good gossip and seems to like Sally.

    Greyson is a nosey old fool who was Bayonnette’s right hand man so is bound to know something as they were always chattering together.

    Sally has always been friendly towards her but they are not friends. Ford always seemed to be very happy with Sally when ever she saw him or spoke on the phone which they did regularly.

    Elizabeth has never meet or spoken to Fiona, Sally’s Sister, or the new cook.

    Lord Falconer is an old fool as well. Always running around with younger women. Sometimes taking prostitutes. Him and Ford were always up to trouble together.

    The poor maid lost her mother and it was always her that had been responsible for the poor little mite so goodness knows how she is getting on with cleaning the house with out any one to advise and supervise!

    The old friend of the deceased and a lord
    Lord Phillip Falconer was an old chum of Bayonnette and they have jollies often.

    Lord Phillip is sleeping with Marcy, Bayonnette daughter secretly and she has been plotting to get rid of Sally. Marcy encouraged him to take on these prostitutes to stop any suspicions arising about the two of them. So Lord Phillip always provides the drinks and entertainment for the evenings and a prostitute or two

    One evening things got a bit out of hand and Lord Phillip accidentally drowned a poor prostitute after he discovered she was stealing from him. He held her down the bath water until she stopped trashing and realised what he had done.

    Lord Phillip knows that someone knows about this but doesn’t know whom it was that saw him getting rid of the body that evening. Lord Phillip has paid a PI to investigate who it was. He does know that it wasn’t Marcy that saw it as she would have taken delight in having something to black mail him with.

    The PI was unfortunately involved in an accident while at the house although no one realised that that she was a PI and still think that she was a messenger.

    Lord Phillip knows that Marcy hates Sally and will do anything to get rid of her.

    Henry Greyson the old Butler knows a lot but knows not to say anything about the goings on in the house and tends to keep his head down and away from all the action.

    He likes Sally but can see why Marcy despises her and want to get rid of her.

    The young George is a bit of a loser and don’t really talk to each other that much.

    Fiona the sister is never around so there fore he doesn’t know her and has only ever seen fleeting glimpses of her.

    Elizabeth Bayonnette the ex wife is a grumpy old bat so therefore Lord Falconer doesn’t speak to her.

    The cook is a fine bit of lady but she has so far managed to keep out of his clutches. The young maid on the other hand is often around when Phillip is there. She has confided that she misses her mother and blames the messenger for her mother’s suicide.

    The Cook
    Charlotte Mudge (Charlie) is new to the house and was employed by Sally Haynes 4 months ago. Her and Sally have been friends for a long time but Sally has asked her not to tell anyone and that if anything were to happen to Ford Bayonnette’s foos she would get the blame for setting it up if they knew. She gets on very well with Sally and they often while she is working.

    The evening the body was discovered she and Sally had been chatting about the Lord Phillips Latest ideas for the Christmas party that is coming up. Sally didn’t seem out of sorts in the slightest and there was no sign of anything being wrong. She had been with Sally from 4 O’clock that afternoon. The body was discovered at 7pm so this had been a very long time.

    Charlotte had noticed a week or so ago that the supply of the Rat poison was rapidly dwindling and she knew that rat catcher had not been around. She dismissed the thought as perhaps the rats had gone direct to the packet as it now a gnawed edge and some of the poison had started to fall out. She never spoke to anyone about it but she did put the poison in to a new box that she had recently emptied that used to contain semolina.

    Charlie knows that Marcy hates Sally and will do anything to get rid of her.

    Charlie has been flirting with George Bayonnette and accidentaly revealed that she has been a friend of Sally’s for a long time. He seemed to understand why they had kept the secret though.

    The Maid is normally about but is quiet and doesn’t tend to talk to her that much.

    The Maid
    Tracey Walter has worked for the family since her mother talked Bayonnette in to giving her a job. Mrs Walter used to be the cook until she was fired for setting fire to the kitchen in an incident, which left a messenger, who was working for Lord Phillip, with burns across her arms and hands.

    Tracey knew she was not a messenger but in fact a PI from the questions that she had been being asked. She didn’t know whom she was working for or what she was looking for. She said that it was her fault that the fire happened and has always maintained this. She managed to keep her job after her mother committed suicide after the incident as Sally talked Bayonnette in to letting her keep her job.

    She has always like Sally since this time. She has never let on that the Messenger is a PI

    Tracey knows that Marcy hates Sally and would do any thing to get rid of her.

    Tracey doesn’t ever really speak to anyone. She has chatted to Fiona, Sally’s sister, a couple of times but when she has leaked the fact that Sally and the cook were friends she rapidly back peddled and hasn’t spoken to her since.

    Tracey has also spoken to Lord Falconer who she blames for her mothers death and told him that she thinks the messenger was at fault and her mother should never have been blamed.

    Private investigator
    PI as all knows her knows lots about the family as she has been hired to look in to a few of the families issues and problems. Lord Phillip Falconer has also hired her as well.

    PI knows that George Bayonnette witnessed Lord Phillip getting rid of the body of the prostitute but has not passed this information to Lord Phillip as yet. Knowing that this may become instrumental later on.

    PI also investigated Sally Haynes and discovered the family debts after Mr Haynes went missing many years before. PI doesn’t know that Bayonnette is to blame.

    PI Knows that Marcy hates sally and will do anything to get rid of her.

    At the time of the fire where PI was burnt she was working for Lord Falconer and had discovered the box of rat poison that was in the larder and thought this strange until she saw the giant rat in the corner of the room and jumped back hitting the old cook who then dropped a glass bottle on the fire and caused the explosion. The family think that PI was a messenger from Lord Phillip and an important friend.

    The PI knows a number of details about the deceased cause of death and can answer these questions when asked.
    The Butler Greyson found the body at 7pm
     
  2. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Why would you ask anyone else to choose the murderer for your story?

    Go ahead and write the story, and let the characters grow along with the story. But in the best murder mysteries, All the suspects have plausible motives, but only one has a stronger motive that isn't at all obvious. There will be clues provided in the investigation or exploration of other characters that makes the culprit fairly obvious after you learn the truth, but not before.

    Remember, plot and storyline is not what makes a book a delight to read. The quality of the writing does.
     
  3. Skyeewriter
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    Skyeewriter New Member

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    I'm indecisive! I can see each of them having a part of the murder and the trail being long and windy. I had the plain clear in my mind when I first came up with idea but as they have grown they have developed and have lost track of the original thoughts.

    Now when I look at each charater they seem either too obvious a choice or its just not right.
     
  4. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Two tings (spelling's on purpose):

    1.GOOD GAWD is that long winded!:eek: Is there anway you could abbreviate this information? As it stands, it kind of gives a peeping-Tom view of the plot.

    2. It might not be a good decision to basically post the best best plot point in a story online where everybody can see it. Those are the kind of "leaks" that lose readership.
     
  5. ManicParroT
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    ManicParroT Contributing Member

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    The PI. They'll never see that coming.
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    One more comment - the cast of characters seems better suited to a soap opera than to a murder mystery. There are too many exposed conficts and motives for my taste. I prefer if there are a collection of characters who all seem to have NOTHING to gain from the murder (except perhaps the one person we KNOW is falsely accused, and needs to prove his or her innocence). With time, the investigation reveals some possible motives, but most of them lead nowhere. One or two possibilities then appear to build as likely motives, but one key suspect may not become clear until the very end.

    Still, there are different styles. Read and reread works by your favorite mystery writers, with an eye to how they weave their tapestry of misdirections and lay down the path to the climax.
     
  7. misaditas
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    misaditas Member

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    Have the cause of death poisoning and all of them do it :D

    They could have used different poisons and it's up to the PI to figure out when they were given and how long they take to work so he can figure which person is guilty.
     
  8. Skyeewriter
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    Skyeewriter New Member

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    Thank you all for your responses.

    Just a couple of points.
    1 this is never ever going to get published.
    2 its a plot for a murder mystery game that can be played with friends. So its never going to be a class novel. I've chosen some very comment character traits for this particular reason.

    I'm loving the PI doing it and have been flirting with the Cook having seen Marcy sneaking around the corridors (she has been swapping his heart medication) but it was the son who stole the poison first to try and kill Marcy. The maid steals it to try and kill the PI but the cook sees this and swaps the dinners so that Marcy gets the poison. BUT the butler gives ford the wrong dinner unknowingly. So is a mixture of all of them. I think The lord should know that Marcy swapped the tablets so he can leak this to the questioners.

    I have to write a bit for each charactor and what the know about the others ans what they have to hide and what they can tell now!

    I'm starting to think it would be easier to write a novel! lol
     
  9. BillyxRansom
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    BillyxRansom Active Member

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    also, TL;DR!!!!!!!!


    sorry.
     
  10. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    What was the point of ^that^?
     
  11. architectus
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    architectus Banned

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    My honest opinion is that if you need someone else to choose a murderer for you you might not want to write a mystery.
     

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