Would You Read This?

I'm guessing that math isn't your best subject

 

I'm decent at math. I just have a problem with compulsively pointing out the obvious (that means I can't control it).

 

Then you ought to know the difference between "exponential" and "squared"!

 

Two times two is the same as two squared.... Well, I maintain an A in math (or maths, for all of you British folk) and I got third-highest standardized test score in my class. So, I am decent at math, but only during school hours. So yeah.

 

I just joined the forums here so I've been browsing. I agree with Cogito. Sit down and write the story. The blurb really doesn't catch the eye, in my opinion. It leaves the reader with too many questions. Why was Salem brought to this accademy? Why doesn't everyone have these abilities their ancestors had? What are these people to Salem? Why is Salem fighting and what has this got to do with the passed?

Creating too many questions like that is sort of like information overload. It scares the reader off. I'm sure teh Caspar Twins are very beautiful, but why should I care about them or any of the other characters around Salem?

You've crammed a lot of stuff into a single paragraph. Try telling us again about these characters and places over three paragraphs. Give us a few more details about the main character, his friends, the academy, and what is going on in the world.

 

Personally, I don't usually read the blurbs. I think that reading some of the story itself is a better indicator of whether the book is worth my time. It doesn't matter if the blurb makes the book sound awesome, because if the book is not well written or uninteresting I'm not going to read it.

 

I will open a book randomly, and read a couple pages. If I like it, I may read the dust jacket to give me an idea of the bigger picture. Make sure your story is written, then let your publicist (Not publisher) choose a blurb for you.

Let the advertising gurus work their magic, you work yours in the storytelling.

 

Come now, no need to put her down people (excluding those with creative things to say), anywho:

Yes the blurb is pretty dire, but it does invoke several things in my mind going "Who are they, what is this army/empire, I want to know more!" because... let's face it, blurbs are all terrible, they're watered down puddles of scarce detail that fall short of actually describing the book. As long as a blurb has some key ingrediants, namely awesome sounding characters, an interesting setting for said characters (prince and kingdom is a tired concept, but academy? That's totally new to me my friend!) and something major going on, you'll catch peoples attention no sweat, you certainly got mine! Now where is this book, I want to read it! Get writing dude

 

I agree that the blurb sounds generic. I'd put the book back on the shelf. I think you need to have the story complete to write a good blurb for it. At this stage, you shouldn't even be concerned with blurbs.

 

The blurb is generic but I am guessing the book is junior fiction/Young Adult. Generic doesn't put them off and I would certainly at least get the book out the library if it had a great cover.

I do tend to reply on the blurb and the cover, then I may read inside or I may not. Getting book out the library or a bookstore is not a law abiding commitment that I have to read it. I still have the Resurrectionist on my shelves, have had for 3 years have yet to get round to reading it lol And writing blurbs is good practice I have run across several publishers and literary agents that ask you to prepare one, and it gives you practice for query letters etc. In the US you have more leeway with your synopsis. One A4 page and some ask for it to be double spaced is all many in the UK ask for.

 

That's right. Write the story for yourself first without paying any mind to others. Then the truth will be told here in the Reviews section
Unless you want to write your stories for the broadest range of readers don't think about what the people would say. I was also told this by the professionals to write the stories for myself because that's the only way how to be comfortable about writing. If I'd have to worry too much I wouldn't give my best performance.
In my case I totally don't care if someone will find my stories exciting. I know there always will be someone like that because people have such a wide spectrum of taste. Even if it should be just one person who likes it it's still ok with me. Just look at how some horrible books or horrible paintings can get popular, you can certainly recall any such cases. Writing, just like any other form of art, is very subjective. So stay cool and write, anything.

 

Ok, so I'm new to the boards, but not to writing. And honestly, little summaries don't do any story justice. But based on your blurb that you gave us, I would give it a chance, but would I come back to read more, possibly and possibly not. For me, at least, some part of the characters or story has to be something that I can relate to. That doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be obvious but the character traits or something. And when you're writing you should also think at what kind of audience you're writing for that way they'll enjoy it and understand it.

And yes there are similarities to Harry Potter, but big deal. J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter has similarities to J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. I mean come on, dementors and ringwraiths aren't that much different description wise. But what matters is what sets your story apart from all the others. Your story has to have a heart for people to like it.

And don't waste you're time on trying to summarize a story you haven't written because you're limiting yourself, if anything maybe write a prologue and post it here to see what people think, I'll give it a read.

--Darcy

 

caspar

And Caspar is a country

if caspar is a country shouldn't it be the CASPARIAN twins?

 

Don't worry about it... most people read the first few pages before they decide to buy a book, regardless of what's on the back.

 

My first impression, honest to goodness, considering this as a book jacket blurb:

I hate the names. Plucked from random other works.

*book goes back on shelf*

 

The story has changed significantly since I've posted this thread, but, I've never taken names from other works unless it was an intentional homage to the character in question. I just really like the names.

Just 'cause I'm curious, what works did you think the names came from? I liked the name Tabitha ever since I was little when I'd heard it was the name of a minor character on Drake and Josh, but I'd hardly call that taking it.

 

Tabitha was the Stevens' daughter on Bewitched (and later had a short lived show of her own).

There may be an even earlier popular use of the name, but if so, I'm not aware of it.

 

This really surprises me! I have never seen anyone in an Edinburgh bookshop taking a few mins out to read a few pages before they buy. Unless of you mean skim reading!

Perhaps I'm an exception but I will read the blurb, take five seconds or so to skim read a random page and then decide to buy it. I will even be swayed by the cover art (superficial, I know). I will usually buy three books at a time, having taken very little time to consider buying them. I'm usually not disappointed by my purchases. I take the summary on the jacket very seriously and it is usually the main thing that acts as a deciding factor.

I don't think any right minded publisher would argue that the jacket blurb is inconsequential. Isn't it like a sales pitch? For impatient people like me who don't want to examine the contents of the book before I buy, it is essential it acts as a hook.

As for your blurb J. I wouldn't be interested at all in reading your novel. Perhaps this is only because I have no time for fantasy novels.

 

Salem Stone: Salem as a name for anyone occult is an abvious nod to Salem Massachusetts.

Prince Alexander: A prince named Alexander. Of course. It's just on the nose, so to speak. Alexander the Great....

Tabytha: Samantha's daughter

Caspar Twins: I see two chubby, pale, friendly ghosts.

*shrug*

 

Tabitha is a Biblical Character. Her name means gazelle the greek name is Dorcas. She was a disciple of Jesus who Peter resurrected. I think you would get away with Tabitha it became sort of popular in UK and US during 2000-2010 (more than it has ever been) so its quite a modern trendy name. There was also a character in Rumer Goddens Rocking Horse Secret she is lovely her name is Tabitha. I love the name too.

Maybe its because I am Scots but to me Alexander seems generic enough, I had 4 in my class at school. I have an Alexander in my books, but we had 3 Scots Kings called Alexander.

Salem and Caspar might seem stolen.

The names I use in my books are mostly generic so i am sure they will be seen as being recycled. I even have an Uncle Tom lol

Run your story past your intended audience. I am writing for the Young Adult market and their opinions are invaluable in helping me.

 

I'd known that Salem, the cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, was named for Salem, Massachusetts. And there is that town in Oregon, but that hardly influenced my naming of the character. If any media at all had, it'd probably be Fullmetal Alchemist, which includes an antagonist named Selim. I'd found out recently that "Selim" is supposed to be pronounced in the same way as "Celine", and Arakawa-san's character and mine have nothing in common except for slight appearance stuff, so I don't think it counts anymore.


I'd seen "Alexander" on a naming page for names attributed to royals, so I guess I'm a bit guilty for that.

I've never watched Bewitched, oddly enough. Tabitha is a fairly normal name.

Caspar... Casper? Weird, never thought of it that way. The actual twins names are Madrona and Veranda. Madrona 'cause it's an interesting word, as well as a neighborhood in my town. Veranda, despite being synonymous patio, looked good alongside the name "Madrona". I'd considered using the name "Verona", but if I did that they wouldn't be able to be nicknamed "Mady" and "Vera".

I think this thread's kind of lost its purpose, considering how much the work in question has fluctuated and such. Ah well. One of the things that hasn't changed was the naming, which apparently isn't at its finest.

 

Well, it's just my opinion. And remember, you don't get a chance to explain to the reader where things in your story come from. The reader is going to bring what s/he brings to the reading and you've no control over that part.

I'm old enough to make refs that probably predate most of the members here, but in each of those names I had an immediate and very vivid ref pop out at me that stole my attention from anything else you posted in your original post.

 

It's probably my age group that grew up with Bewitched that is responsible for Tabitha being a fairly normal name lol

 

Definitely. The choice of Tabitha skyrocketed as a baby name after Samanthe Stevens had a baby daughter, like the name Melissa did when Little House on the Prairie became popular.

 

EVERY girl with whom I went to high school was going to name her little girl Brittany Nicole.