So this is my first time here, I'm very excited. I'm an animator/illustrator and I came up with this idea for a children's book which is honestly something I been wanting to do for a while. But I'm no writer so I come here to ask for help see if this is any good and to make my short stories better. I wanted to keep these very short stories very illustration heavy but still with a good solid structure. So here I will post the character sheet which is something I think was important and the first draft of the book. Thank you for reading and apreciate the help.
8-Year-Old Extraordinaire. He’s slim, brown eyes and black hair. Likes to wear shorts and converse shoes. His shirts are simple with different animals on them for every occasion. His sense for adventure is keen and hates being inside. He is brave and smart and likes to show off, his self-confidence is second to none. He likes girls and he’s often making sure that his friends are safe from danger. Max’s hero is his older brother and his sister is most of the times his nemesis. He loves his family and wants to have his own airplane when he grows up.
Theodore “Teddy” Venture
19-Year-old Super Hero Brother. His built, brown eyes and dark brown long hair, usually keeps it back in a ponytail. He likes to wear dark color t-shirts(never black) and jeans and skater shoes. He’s into sports, plays football in college and is often Max’s backup when Max goes on one of his adventures. Even though he is much bigger than Max, he still prefers to be the sidekick he never had much of imagination but he does have a lot of fun with his brother. His girlfriend joins him and Max once in a while. Teddy is definitely a gentleman despite his brute physique, and is often making sure his girlfriend is happy and secure. He’s going to college to become a coach.
Jessica “Jess” Venture
15-Year-Old Drama Queen. Slim, light brown eyes, and light brown hair. Often wearing bright clothes that are “hip” and cool. Prefers shorts and girl sneakers. She’s into music and boys, she’s the popular girl in school. She hates it when Max goes on one of his adventures and even worse when Teddy joins him. She’s often in social networks or on the phone with one of her friends. She’s wants to be a musician when she grows up, so she’s often singing and playing her guitar.
Mom and Dad Venture
Making the house safe for Max to run around in. They are often watching from afar making sure he’s safe but having fun. At the end of everyday they are there to make sure Max is safe in bed and ready for another adventure the next day.
This is Max.
Max likes to go on adventures.
But because of the rain, today is not a good day for outside adventures.
“You have to stay inside,” said his Mother.
“I‘m sure you can find something fun to do inside”
Max looked outside his window,
And a moment later he got an idea!
Max ran upstairs to his room,
In his room he found a red bucket, a blue blanket and a brown wooden sword.
Max became a knight!
“Help! Help!” Max heard the cries and ran off.
“Help! Help!” Cried the Queen.
“What is the matter Queen?” Asked Max.
“I have lost my beautiful crown,” replied the Queen, “the Evil Dragon Jess has taken it from me while I was asleep”
“I will find it for you my Queen, and I shall face the Evil Dragon Jess!”
Said Max with much bravery.
“Then go my brave Knight, bring me back my crown.”
Said the Queen as Max walked away, into adventure.
“First I will need a horse for this long journey,” said Max
“I will visit my brother he should have a horse!”
His brother’s house was in a forest.
Max ran and ran, until he found his brothers house.
“Brother the queen has lost her crown!” yelled Max,
“I need your help to find it!”
Sir Teddy turned around surprised.
“Calm down little brother,” said Teddy “What happened?”
“The Evil Dragon Jess has stolen the Queen’s crown.”
“Let’s go then, no time to waste,” said Teddy “take my horse and go find that Evil Dragon!”
Max rode all the way to the cave the Evil Dragon Jess lived.
The cave was dark, but Max wasn’t afraid.
Inside the cave he found the Evil Dragon Jess
and behind her, a mountain of jewels.
On top of the jewels laid the Queen’s crown.
Max came out of the shadows to face the Evil Dragon Jess.
“I am here for that crown!” Said Max with courage.
“No!” Growled the dragon.
“You can’t have it! Get out of my cave!”
The dragon breathed fired onto Max.
Max jumped out of the way and ran for the crown.
The dragon tried to grab Max but he jumped over her hand and continued running.
The dragon swung her tail to hit Max but couldn’t get him.
Max grabbed the crown with his sword and started running for the exit.
The dragon swung her tail again. Max was fast and jumped over it.
Once outside he got on the horse and left.
He could hear the Evil Dragon yelling behind him.
Back at the castle he was received with a big celebration.
The Queen was so happy when she got her crown back she gave him a special Queen Hug. Something she only gives to the most brave of Knights.
Max had returned the lost crown.
Until this day his heroics are told in stories all around the kingdom.
And it wasn’t raining anymore.
Again, thank you for reading and you critic is very much well received.
Separate names with a comma.