Blog Entries from Chudz

  1. My car apocalypse.

    I brought my car in to have a coolant leak fixed, and the engine light was also on (it had been running a bit rough on-and-off for a while), so I had them look at that too. They said it was the catalytic converter and wanted like $3500 to fix it. So wanting to put it off, and figuring it would run for a while at least, I tell them to skip the repair. My Dad ends up driving me in to pick it up, and he asks if I want him to stick around. Figuring things will be okay, I say, "nah." So of...
  2. NaNo 2010

    Just something that came out when I was thinking about this year's NaNo. The call of phantom trumpets heralded the arrival of my guest, who appeared amidst a puff of sulfurous, purple smoke. The tiny, potbellied pig opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly overcome by his smoggy surroundings and launched into a fit of coughing, which managed to unseat his top-hat. I calmly watched as it rolled to a stop on my kitchen table, then waited for him to regain some composure. “Must you be so...
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  3. What happened when I forced myself to write something today.

    (Prologue: Struggles to write something) Well, you can stop struggling now, can't you? “Huh?” I mean, you did just write something. Didn't you? “Um, yah. I guess so.” So the struggle is over! Long live the revolution! “Just who the hell are you?!?” Quite obviously, I'm a voice in your head. “In my head?” Well, if I was a voice in someone else's head, just how the heck would you be hearing me? “ESP, I suppose.” Are you telling me you're psychic? “No, not...
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  4. Mushrooms!

    This has been edited somewhat, but I posted the earlier version in response to someone who likes mushrooms. ;) Did you know. . . . The word "Mushroom" can be unscrambled to form "Rus H. Moom." Coincidentally enough, Rus H. Moom is the name of a not-so-famous inventor of late 19th century Indiana, who was looking into industrial uses for boogers. (Note the similarity in consistency here.) After several failed experiments, one of which escaped and devoured an outlying suburb of...
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  5. First time bottling

    This is a story I wrote about my first experience with bottling home brew. Well, I went and did it. I brewed up a five gallon batch of (magic) beer and it should be done fermenting. So the night before my scheduled bottling day I decided to wash the bottles, using the cleaning solution and bristly bottle-cleaner thing that came with my brewing kit. Oh my god! I'm so glad I did this the night before. Because if I had waited to actually do it on the same day, I probably would have quit, gone...
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  6. Chudz Blog 6

    Chudz Blog: (Entry 6) Beer Quest – Part 4 (The Scene: Stars shine overhead as a nameless field swims gradually into view. Looking closer, we notice fresh scars deep in the shadowed earth and see three inert figures sprawled amongst the tall grasses. Then they begin to stir.) Mr. B rises on four unsteady legs and begins kissing the ground repeatedly. Chudz mumbles: Jeebus Christ, why don't you two just get a room. Mr. B chuckles. CB stumbles upright, tendrils of smoke rising...
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  7. Chudz Blog 5

    Chudz Blog: (Entry 5) Beer Quest – Part 3 (The Scene: Twilight is descending. We find ourselves hovering over an empty construction site where several luxury homes are being erected, about a half-mile from Chudz Tower. Suddenly, we hear a door opening, and our view centers on a port-o-potty far below, where someone is exiting. We quickly zoom in for a closer look and see that it’s. . . .) Goldilocks steps out of the port-o-potty and closes the flimsy door behind her. Peering around to...
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  8. Chudz Blog 4

    Chudz Blog: (Entry 4) Beer Quest – Part 2 (The Scene: Several hours have passed, during which time Chudz and company have brainstormed their way to a rather intricate plan, officially known as “Operation Get Beer”. Unofficially, it has “without getting shot-up by some psycho *Beep*” tacked onto the end of it. The sky has started to darken, and they’re now crouched on top of the tower, waiting for the pizza delivery guy (AKA – The Decoy) to show up. Mr. B. and Chudz are both wearing flight...
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  9. Chudz Blog 3

    Chudz Blog: (Entry 3) Beer Quest – Part 1 (The Scene: Our three misfits have narrowly escaped their earlier dilemma, by barricading themselves inside the tower. And after haranguing them for over an hour, an angry Farmer Jenkins has just pulled away.) Chudz says: Whew, I thought he’d never leave. Mr. B. nods in agreement. CB says: How do we know he’s not sneaking back? Chudz says: Hmm, good point. Mr. B. can you take a quick peak out the window and make sure, please? Mr. B....
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  10. Chudz Blog 2

    Chudz Blog: (Entry 2) CB reporting . . . Note: For the sake of brevity, Chudz Blog is now being referred to as “CB”, and Mr. Beanie Bear will mostly be referred to by his sobriquet of “Mr. B”. (The Scene: Our three characters have dragged the charred mini-fridge out of the tower and into a nearby, deserted field, where Chudz is delivering a eulogy.) Chudz says: It was a good fridge and a brave fridge. It steadfastly cooled our . . . sniffle . . . beer through all seasons, never...
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  11. Teh Beginnin'

    This is just some goofiness that I started in another blog and will maybe never finish. Chudz is played by big-ol-fat me. Mr. Beanie Bear is a portly black bear who has a penchant for wearing one of those old-fashioned beanies that has a propeller on top. And Chudz Blog is a cross between Frankenstein and a Transformer. It was done along the lines of a script for a TV show. Without the formatting of a real TV show script. Enjoy! Or not, hehe. Chudz Blog: (Entry 1) Stardate . . . um . . ....
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