Blog Entries from The Freshmaker

  1. Stick a Fork in Me.

    I'm a dying species. I think I'm the only member still posting here who joined in the first couple months of this forum's operation. But the veteran-killing plague has finally gotten to me, and I think I'm done here. To put it bluntly, the moderation here sucks. I won't go so far as to invoke Godwin's Law, because no one here is anti-Semitic, as far as I can see. But it's a little like Pleasantville. No jazz, booze, or Technicolor for you, you crazy kids. But Mal, this is a...
  2. A Lost Picture

    We don't talk about my grandma. That's all I knew about her for a long time. There were no pictures of her, and she was never brought up. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that my mother had just materialized one day, rather than being born of a human woman. When I was fourteen, however, I found out why we don't talk about her. She murdered my grandfather. By all accounts, my grandfather was a great man. A green beret, Vietnam hero, nuclear physicist, and musician...
  3. Florida Mornings in Summer

    There is no smell quite like that of a Florida summer morning. The warmth and humidity preserve the warm scent of the sun on the oak trees all through the night so that by sunup it’s just barely lingering from the previous day. This mingles with the salty undertones of the Gulf, and the faint odor of car exhaust. The exact smell that I’m talking about takes shape after 3am, but before 7am, in that precious window where the world feels secret. I wake up to this smell almost every morning,...
  4. Another Thing...

    Every time I think of Alcatraz, I say Azkaban and have to correct myself.
  5. Reflections on Work and Life

    I am at work. I am sitting at the desk they've given me since my promotion. It finally feels like I have a real job. A few months ago, I never would have seen myself in this position. Authority, responsibility, and a hell of a benefit plan. All that American Dream ****. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility, but I'm surprised at how easily I've taken it all on. Only my third week, and I have no problem running the whole shebang on my own. I wonder how...
  6. Those Who Can't Do Teach

    And I suppose that those who can't write review. I may not be able to finish my own novel to save my life. But I read enough for five people. I've started a book review blog on Wordpress, and I've noticed that it's been making me think a lot more about what I've been reading. And it's been making me read more than I normally do, as well. It is called Mal Has Bookworms. If anyone has any comments, criticism, or questions, I welcome each one.
  7. Good Reads

    Lately, I've been haunting the Good Reads website. In addition to a lot of trivia, quotes, and thousands of discussion groups, it's a really good way to keep track of your reading list. You can read peer reviews, and add your own as well. And I have to confess, I spent two and a half hours the other night in the Never-Ending Book Quiz. If anyone here finds their way to that neck of the Interwoods, or if you're already on there, my user name is Malsies. I'm a Gemini who enjoys the...
  8. Tired

    I am just plain tired. I'm tired because I haven't slept much the past three nights. I'm tired of acting happy when I'm sad. I'm tired of being reassuring when I'm not sure of anything. I'm tired of trying to make everyone happy. I'm tired of being afraid to leave my bedroom. I'm tired of not being able to tell the whole truth. I'm tired of here. I'm tired of now. I'm tired of me. I just want out.
  9. Explanation

    This is a more in-depth explanation to the situation I alluded to in my last blog. So, I love my boyfriend very much. He's funny, playful, smart, and good at pretty much anything he tries. In almost every aspect, we are perfect together. However, he is a couple years younger than I am. I feel like a lot of our relationship (3.5 years) has been me waiting for him. Waiting for him to get into school, to get his driver's license, to save up money, to be ready to get our own place. I'm...
  10. I think I am losing my mind.

    I can't explain why. Trying wouldn't help. But it's like I have a Presidential Debate going on inside my head. Except that they're not just debating, they're also fighting to the death with battleaxes inside a ring of fire. They both make very good points, but I can't trust either one completely. (If you hadn't picked it up yet, this isn't actually about politics.)
  11. Beanie Babies

    I went to the flea market this weekend with a friend. Our main mission was to find him a sword or three, but we took our time browsing around. In one stall, I found a basket of Beanie Babies for $1 each. Like many children of the 90's, I collected the hell out of Beanie Babies as a kid. I remember people waiting outside of stores early in the morning to get their hands on the new releases. I remember doing extra chores to get the money to buy the Princess Diana Bear. I remember how...
  12. Reflections

    My car has been falling apart since I first bought it. In some ways, it's a lucky thing. It looks so bad from the outside that no one in their right mind would dream of trying to steal it. If the locks worked, I would still never have to worry about locking it. I love my car. I love driving it fast down rural roads, with the moon roof and the one working window open so that the wind can ruffle my hair. I turn the music up loud, and I sing until my throat is raw, and I can feel the...
  13. Tired of Waiting

    I'm home. I have my car back, I have my minimal social life back, and I'm about to have my job back. Everything back to normal, right? Well, there's a couple things. First and foremost, I need to find an apartment for my boyfriend and I. The cost of living is so damn expensive here, especially when you're working retail for $7.25 an hour. I want to be out on my own more than anything. But the thought terrifies me. What if we get out there, and we find that we can't make it? It...
  14. The Big VD

    It's Valentine's Day again. Almost. Cubic zirconia will never be good enough for this holiday, no sir. On Valentine's day, it just isn't love if you don't get real diamonds, Swiss chocolate, expensive flower arrangements, restaurant reservations that had to be made six months in advance... Tacky heart-shaped jewelry will masquerade as true love, red silk lingerie as affection, and lovers will be enamoured of the gifts they've exchanged rather than each other's eyes. Valentine's day...
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