1. Betty Baxter, Paranegotiator

    Day 21 "Engage multi-phase, omni-directional accelerators!" "Roger!" At the command I form the most awesome pose I can think of, tighten by blue space-suit spandex-ed butt cheeks glistening in the starlight, and promptly forget half of my training. "What?" "That means take off, newbie!" Master Ambassador Puretide smacks the back of my helmet, giving me a helpful 'head start' away from the ship towards my first real negotiate-ee. Fingering my palm engages the rocket pod on my back, and I...
  2. Betty Baxter, Para-Negotiator

    Day 1 It's clear, as soon as the muscular pair of biceps with a screaming head between them faces me- "Put that wrench down, you're gonna cause a WAARR!!" -That I am in the wrong place. "What's your name, scumbag!? "Betty Baxter. Er... Mr... I think I'm in the wrong-" "From this moment on any words from your disgusting, warlike mouths will begin and end with Sir!" The knot of muscles in the muscle-shirt and muscle-hat turns to the line of cowering, doe-eye people. "Do you hear me!?"...
  3. Betty Baxter's Guardian Angel Report

    Day 981 Nothing makes me happier than food. Except repairing things... or guns. No... "Betty." Let me start over. There are three things I can't stand. "Betty." One is- "Betty." "Augh." I glare at Jethro, the second thing I can't stand. "What?!" "I'm..." Jethro looks uncomfortable. His hands wring in front of his waist, and he is avoiding eye contact. His tool belt is catty-wompus, and he has missed a button on his jumpsuit. "I'm gonna go repair something... for my self-education bonus...
  4. Betty Baxter's Spacecraft Repair (B)Log

    Day 14 1331: Work is going slow today. Which is good, I guess. My job is to repair catastrophic damage to the ship. Still, success is boring in my line of work. I have decided a wonderful donut would help the time pass. I have a dollar left over from ladies night at the Zip Club. I should be able to uncrinkle it well enough. 1345: Unsuspected complication in my donut acquisition plan. The snack machine, once the true source of all hope in the break room, has been relocated to the outside...
  5. Betty Baxter's Spacecraft Repair Log

    Day one. In space, everything breaks, and nothing works. That sounds redundant, but in reality, understanding the difference between those two ideas is what truly distinguishes a true Spacegineer from an idiot with a wrench. I have a theory... maybe. Take my space suit. Before I exited that airlock back there, I was confident it would be the most important thing I needed out here today. The outer layer was hole free, the inner layer was clean. Air tank attached properly, claw boots sharp...
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