1. Theories on theories.

    Feeling lost when you're not really lost is a very confusing period of time in life. You're lost inside, but everything outside is poised to show you ways to go. Though. I think maybe it is possible to be lost without being lost. It's like that iconic image of standing infront of a crossroads, watching the roads go in different directions. With the wooden pole in the middle with the tired wooden pointers with somewhat still readable place names. But, if you take one of the roads presented....
  2. The day the world got better and everything fell at the same time.

    So. Today was a strange day. I got up early because I absolutely loathe to be late and it makes me extremely anxious, naturally I was late anyway because I got to the tram just as it had left. So that added nine minutes to my time. I got on the tram, almost missed my stop because I'm tired. Then I have to wait another five minutes for the tram that will take me to where I have to walk the rest of the way. Finally I'm standing at the bottom of what seems to be an endless road upwards,...
  3. Sheesh...

    So, I haven't written here for a long time now. I sunk so low into my hole of depression that I wasn't able to focus on anything, much less write it down. I have decided however, after a successful visit to a CFS specialist to try and introduce some structure to my life. It's felt like there's no point at all in even trying, but after this meeting with the specialist I feel a small glimmer of - as clishe as it sounds - hope. Here was someone that talked to me as one who genuinly tries to...
  4. Victim.

    It's another bad day or well... I should say week. It started yesterday evening when I woke up. I got four hours sleep before I woke up again exhausted, my entire body seems to be working against me at the moment. I'm so tired I can barely make it out of bed. My place is trashed, I don't have the energy to clean or do the dishes. It will get better at some point, I know that. But right when you're in the moment it's really hard to see. I keep flashing back to horrible times in my life, and I...
  5. Lost one!

    So, I wanted to write here everyday. And then I missed one! So I'm gonna write two pieces today. I already wrote the short story, and here is the daily rant. Missing days isn't forreign to me. Last month I managed to loose two whole days. I was wholly convinced it was Monday, while it was Sunday. And the a Wednesday just up and left...I had no idea where it went. And I still don't. I gave up on the "Crossing Lines" series. I mean, it's a good series but it didn't engage me that much. So...
  6. Nuts!

    So... I woke up, looked at the time and then I panicked and then I calmed down. I hate the feeling where you think you've missed something. Thankfull I hadn't. So I went down to the shop, got some nuts and walked my dog. It's been a wholly uninteresting day. Utterly non-happening. And I think I fried my brain yesterday. So I'll try again tomorrow! Maybe I'll have something more interesting to write. Bah, humbug.
  7. Headaches and boxes.

    So, I finished the "Scorpion" series. Rather... I've seen all I can see. The next season starts in October. And of course, it ended on a cliffhanger. So I started a new one, it's not as good but it's interesting. Called "Crossing Lines". Basically it's about a bunch of police officers from different countries with different specialties working together as a European "FBI". It's kind of ironic, watching this series, cause we're currently working on getting my Russian boyfriend to the...
  8. Hypothermia and melted cheese.

    I'm watching "Scorpion" again. They are in the Arctic trying to set up an antennae for the military. Two of them are freezing! I'm eating a sandwich with melted tomato cheese and ham feeling vaguely guilty for being warm. It's the nice kind of cheese that doesn't get greasy and icky, and melts perfectly without getting hard crusts. I've been thinking about people lately. The ego in particular. People don't necessarily make sense all the time, and some seem to thrive when they think they are...
  9. Splash texts.

    We have this expression amongst writers in Norway, "pøse text". This translates to "splash text". There's very likely an english equivalent, but I can't think of it right now. Not to mention I like the feeling of "Splash text". Basically what it means is that you just start to write, and when the words don't come out anymore it's done. The goal is just getting it out It's hard to explain.. But you get what I'm mean, I'm sure. You're all writers and readers. This is such a splash text I wrote...
  10. Nothing.

    I literally have nothing to write about. My head is empty, drawing a blank and any other ways of saying that.
  11. No idea...

    So... For once I have very little to say. But I promised whoever might read this and myself that I would write here once a day. So here we go... I'm very tired and watching a show called Scorpions. It's a good show and I've watched it once before. I'm really picky with series. If I can't properly connect to the characters of the concept, I get bored and my interest drifts. And now I'm so tired I have to go lie down... maybe I'll update this when I wake up! Until next time. Eaveah.
  12. So far so good.

    Third time I write, and it's going good so far. It's about 4 in the morning here and I'm listening to a wonderful band called London Grammar (fully aware of the irony). I'm preparing for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday, well. I call it tomorrow because I haven't slept yet. Not entirely sure if I will yet either. But it won't be tomorrow before it's light outside for me. So at 13:00 I will meet my father for coffee at a place not far from where I live. Since may of this year 2016, we've had...
  13. Thunder.

    I got woken up today by a clap of thunder, so loud that my dog was half way under the duvet, shaking. I was triggered. All I could do for the next half an hour was to hug my dog and tell him, rather than myself, that everything would be alright. It helped a little bit. I looked at my phone that stated it was 17:28 and managed to slowly get out of bed. I went to my computer to see if there was any messages or notifiations that needed my attention. There wasn't. I jumped violently as another...
  14. And so it begins.

    I have always been horrible at keeping a journal. For many reasons. One of which being my chagrin whenever I would read it back. But recently I've gained a somewhat higher regard for my own work and a distinct appreciation for being able to review ones own work. Here, I realise I will also be subject to other people possibly having something to say about my innermost thoughts, should I choose to divulge them here. This is both terrifying and a little exciting to me. I rarely share my...
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