1. Betty Baxter, Paranegotiator

    Day 21 "Engage multi-phase, omni-directional accelerators!" "Roger!" At the command I form the most awesome pose I can think of, tighten by blue space-suit spandex-ed butt cheeks glistening in the starlight, and promptly forget half of my training. "What?" "That means take off, newbie!" Master Ambassador Puretide smacks the back of my helmet, giving me a helpful 'head start' away from the ship towards my first real negotiate-ee. Fingering my palm engages the rocket pod on my back, and I...
  2. Betty Baxter, Para-Negotiator

    Day 1 It's clear, as soon as the muscular pair of biceps with a screaming head between them faces me- "Put that wrench down, you're gonna cause a WAARR!!" -That I am in the wrong place. "What's your name, scumbag!? "Betty Baxter. Er... Mr... I think I'm in the wrong-" "From this moment on any words from your disgusting, warlike mouths will begin and end with Sir!" The knot of muscles in the muscle-shirt and muscle-hat turns to the line of cowering, doe-eye people. "Do you hear me!?"...
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