Personal Life

  1. A wish to not be known(230225)

    I fantasise about running away, throwing myself into the scum of the world and becoming one with it, Because in the dark and dinge of it all I will be nameless. Just a story lost to the passing of time. Nothing will matter. Not the things they say Not the choices I make Not the life I lived Because at the end of he day, when all is said and done, We all end up six feet under the very same earth. Laid to rest and forgotten.
  2. Digital Minimalism - Post #7 - Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter In

    Extreme Pessimism Ahead and I will NOT reply to debate-provoking comments. In the past few weeks, I have learned a harsh lesson: There is no hope. The world is falling apart- I don't care what side you are on or if you think I am wrong. That's fine. But for me. I realized I have to accept what I must. That is, the world is falling part from where I stand. Only when I do that, can I find peace. I think we can all relate to when we jump on our phones and begin searching news, hoping...
  3. Digital Minimalism - Post #6 - You Died

    So, I am back on the wagon today and I am much happier. I got SO much done around the house. As I am writing this, I am using my 15 minutes of internet time. The goal isn't to be perfect, the goal is to improve. So, I can only hope I can get back on the wagon for a long while. News- second hand- knocked me off. I realize this has to be a challenge. Because I like challenging games like Elden Ring, Dark Souls, etc. So, every time I fall off the wagon, it's like the 'You Died' screen. You...
  4. Stigma and Thoughts

    When you are out and about, walking amongst people, do you reflect on who they are? What their stories are? Sometimes you can see tired eyes or gloomy looks, the way they dress can also be an indicator as to how they're doing. But most of the time you have no idea who they are or what they struggle with. Some people have called me handsome, I wear somewhat decent clothes, and I take regular showers. I look pretty healthy. So it might surprise people that I have schizophrenia. It's something...
  5. Digital Minimalism - Video Archive #1

    I saw this video and it's really good. I like Mel. I bet you're wondering WHY I am posting a video, but I decided I wanted to make a collection of digital minimalism information. A digital archive to help remind me and inspire me to continue my journey.
  6. Digital Minimalism - Post #5 - The Likes

    (The art on my blog is not mine. I just like it.) So, I am not sure if Cal Newport mentioned this in his book, 'Digital Minimalism', but I had some thoughts about the 'like' button. Upon reflection, it's more socially insidious than the 5-star system first used by Youtube. Because we ALL want to be liked. Because wanting to be loved and accepted by society is important for everyone. So, we want what we say to be liked. The more liked we are, the more secure we feel in our expression. But...
  7. Digital Minimalism - Post #4 - MY Reasons

    The reasons I am doing this is something I must return to when I fall off the wagon. The last few days have not been 'good' by any measure. So, it's always good to remember WHY I am doing this and like one of my characters, I like lists. So below are my reasons why I am trying to cut back on my internet time. Why I am posting these here? Because you might relate and I wanted to post this. It's my blog after all. So, onto the list: 1. To spend as much time with my cat as possible. He is a...
  8. Working on Digital Minimalism - Post #3 - Falling off the Wagon

    I have a confession. In the last two days, I have used my phone for hours. Computer for hours, too. It happens to me sometimes when I 'try too hard' to cut back. But also, when I am upset. And recent world events the past two days have been just that. (If you have feelings about them that are opposite of mine, I am not here to debate.) But the real question is HOW do I get back ON the wagon? How can I get back to my little digital life and big real life when the news or events turn over my...
  9. Working on Digital Minimalism - Post #2 - Productivity

    I didn't think I would have people actually read my post. Thanks for the feedback and @Madman asked about if doing this detox makes me more productive. I gave a short response, but wanted to elaborate on the topic. In short, yes. It has made me MORE productive. I no longer do dishes and wonder 'did Y write me back?' or 'I gotta finish these quick so I can make sure I didn't miss anything happening online.' Sure, we all have these thoughts, but I think less and less about the internet when...
  10. Working on Digital Minimalism - Post #1

    I don't know when I really began this journey to cut down on my internet time, but I know I have come a long way. Now, something I am trying to do is make my internet 'smaller'. So, instead of all the sites in the world at my fingertips, I have picked the top 5. 1. Email. 2. This site 3. Youtube 4. Reddit and I am trying to keep only to Dark Souls, Notebook, and Chocolate content. (r/chocolate is a treat!) 5. Can't think of this one right now, but it's an open slot, I guess. The key I...
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  11. The Cost of Intergalactic Nutrition

    "Luckily up here we only have to stop the vortex machine and introduce a disinfecting agent. I am told they have to divert the flow downstairs during this process and all of our production is for non resale only. For a full 24 hours, he bars that are designated ‘for charity only’; Even then we rarely have enough for local distribution. Regardless of the regulation put down from the top, word always gets out some how. Many of the lower level personnel are from the local slums, some of...
  12. Best Laid Plans

    Spoke to my psychiatrist a few days ago about wanting to study English. She recommended me not to at this stage, which I understand. But I still find it a bit sad. When I first got sick, they told me that the university would still be there when I got better. That was about eight years ago. Now it feels like a distant dream or something that may never happen again. I loved the university days that I attended. To explore English with like-minded enthusiasts was exhilarating. I was good at...
  13. How we did it Back in the Day (writing and editing stories before word processors)

    Classic Story Patchups 01 by Darkmatters, on Flickr Here's a pile of stories from my Tony & Kurt folder. Marvel at the variety of different kinds of paper, with very different left edges in particular. Some on typing paper or binder paper, which has a nice straight factory-cut edge on it, and some torn violently from notebooks, with all that nasty ragged fringe left behind. Also note a few on lined binder paper, but typed. Yeah, we used what we had on hand or could afford, and I was a kid...
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  14. First jokes

    This took me roughly 45 mins to write these jokes. This is my first attempt at writing basically anything. Let me know what you think and how you think I could make them better. Do you give a shit what happens to your body after you die? Fuck that I don’t. Bury me, cremate me, cook me and feed me to the neighbors, I don’t care. Shove a stick up my ass and wield me around like a puppet for a goof at Halloween time I like how enough people have choked themselves to death while jerking off...
  15. Temporary Blindness -True Tales

    SoberDate 8041 A couple nights ago a series of thunderstorms rolled thru our area at nighttime. Around 11pm I got up for a late night snack from the fridge (a cheese stick) when the power went out. I ate my cheese and went back to bed. Around midnight, my wife awoke to use the bathroom and the 1st thing she noticed was it was pitch black, no light from the clock, no nightlight from the bathroom, no light outside from the streetlight. Nothing, just total inky blackness. Now mind you,...
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