Warning --" Retiree who knows everything and has time to tell you about it."

By paperbackwriter · Feb 6, 2019 · 718 · 8
  1. Title was taken from Graham's blog entry. Thanks Graham.
    I was sitting in my favourite coffee shop this morning, reading an obituary of a famous person in the newspaper, and listening to Van Morrison plus snippets of a conversation between two people on the next table, a few years older than me. Retirees.
    Well this is gonna make me look judgemental and hypocritically superior but here goes. One male talker and one female listener. Over lets say half an hour I caught bits and pieces of his recent trip to America. How he hired a car in Miami and did you know a certain percentage speak Spanish as their first language? He was slowing it down, trying to get every detail, step by step, "and then we did this"..."and then we did that"...……
    I don't think the woman got a word in. Well only to acknowledge that she was indeed listening carefully. I was in awe of her patience and I wonder if she was really thrilled to hear such a long story in minute detail.
    Do you tell someone in a conversation all the details of your recent trips? Now maybe I wouldn't mind if this guy put the trip in writing and say expressed himself here. Then the readers can take a break. But in spoken conversation, you potentially become a prisoner. A captive. Trapped in totalitarian hell with talkaholics. (I'm exaggerating for effect here.) I can remember this feeling and the demanding facial expression of the speaker, as if to say "there's more, I haven't finished yet.)
    In conclusion., I have to admit to being the talkaholic often in conversations with my wife. I take her listening for granted. I become absorbed by my own thoughts. A classic narcissist who stops seeing who he is talking to. Still I can proudly boast that I don't bore people in conversations about my trips. maybe because I hardly travel any more. (insert ironic emoji)

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  1. Magus
    I enjoy listening to talkaholics, mainly ones who know a lot about history or a certain subject I'm interested in. My Dad is one, and I learned early on that a short question usually had a long answer... I like the ability to clarify things right then and there as well, and in life unlike in writing, I'm not a very talkative person anyways so I like when someone takes the reigns. I also know the feeling of being trapped in a dreadfully boring conversation and being unable to find a moment that I don't perceive as being rude to exit it. It's like they're afraid of the pause in conversation, so they never let it come. The people I've been closest with in my life have been the ones I've shared long silences with. Merely being together in silence was enough. Why is that awkward? Why must we always have something to say. People avoid conversation because they fear the awkward silence, yet they remain in silence by having an aversion to conversation!
    Magus, Feb 6, 2019
  2. Some Guy
    ja
    Some Guy, Feb 6, 2019
      paperbackwriter likes this.
  3. paperbackwriter
    Certain talkaholics like JP are ok but even he can be exhausting. Imagine being in a conversation with him for 2 or 3 hours?
    paperbackwriter, Feb 6, 2019
  4. paperbackwriter
    so I like when someone takes the reins.(Magus)
    I know what you mean magus. I suffered shyness when I was younger and it was sometimes a relief for someone to take over the responsibility of keeping the conversation going.
    Even now, I don't like the onus of explaining something well or reporting the details of a past event. I tend to prefer short repartee.
    paperbackwriter, Feb 6, 2019
      Magus likes this.
  5. Sam 69
    I find these kind of situations difficult, because:
    1. I'm easily bored and I'm sure that my body language gives this away, and
    2. Afterwards I am prone to feelings of self doubt because somehow I have failed to project myself as a person with clear views of my own because I have failed to find a way into the discussion.

    However I also concede that I am rather brief and "journalistic" in my description of events and I don't always pick up on the fact that my brevity means that people sometimes completely miss what I am trying to say.
    Sam 69, Feb 6, 2019
      paperbackwriter and Some Guy like this.
  6. GrahamLewis
    “That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.” -Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
    GrahamLewis, Feb 6, 2019
      flawed personality and Magus like this.
  7. surrealscenes
    I can't wait to be old enough that people have to sit there and listen to me.
    surrealscenes, Feb 7, 2019
      paperbackwriter likes this.
  8. GrahamLewis
    You can be boring and self-centered at any age, and find people who are too polite to get up and leave. As far as waiting to get old, don't worry. It will arrive soon enough.
    GrahamLewis, Feb 7, 2019
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