How I Will Make Millions: The Idea of the Century

As I lie in bed at the end of the day, I begin my process of falling asleep with a brainstorm. This is when I attempt some physical character development of my WIP characters for my own use (I tend not to care how my audience visualizes my characters as long as any plot-moving physical traits are defined). When I begin to see fractals in the darkness behind my eyelids, I switch over to entertain new story ideas. Though I always keep a pen and notebook on my bedside table, I rarely record new ideas. I like to think about them instead; will them to seep into my subconscious and inspire some kickass dreams. Every once in awhile, though, I have an idea that I believe too perfect to pass up. Last night was among those times.

While I imagined the tight, corn silk curls of my new little boy, Jeffy, my mind was suddenly overcome with the image of a makeup compact. This was it, I thought, the idea that will elevate me to reach epic successes. I scribbled excitedly in the glow of my IKEA lamp, to the tune of Muse’s “I Belong to You (Mon Coeur S'ouvre À Ta Voix).”

Satisfied, I switched off my lamp, kissed my cat goodnight, and rolled over to snuggle deep beneath my fuzzy blankets. I did not remember that page of pure gold until after my pancakes and half a cup of coffee. I flew, excitedly, down the stairs and into my room to tear the paper from the pad and re-read my literary genius. Only after did I realize the true level of that genius.

From the paper, I read my messy list:

• evil makeup compact
• crushed velvet jumpsuit
• long 70’s hair
• doing cartwheels
• chemotherapy

Feel free to comment in praise of my splendid imagination!