Contradictions

Number four is always a big one with me, dealing with people who are condescending and dismissive towards me because of my age. It's as if any and all memories of being ~20 or younger was wiped from their mind.

I could just be tired but I'm not sure how number two is a contradiction.

I used to supervise those big party inflatables, bounce houses and the like. Dealing with one kid could be frustrating, let alone dozens of them. A lot of their parents mistakenly thought I was supposed to be their babysitter and could just leave them while they went off to do whatever. Nothing worse than some children who are "bad" almost entirely as a result of their poor excuses for parents. But, what would I know about parenting.

Speaking of junior high sub-culture, they're getting into vaping now. And in spite of the contradiction (I've vaped, and quitting cigarettes has sort of been like Brett Favre trying to retire from the NFL), I have to say it's quite... "incredible", to say the least.

I typically don't do well with little kids. Mainly because I'm jaded. I no longer know how to "have fun", which means I have to pretend the whole time which makes me feel like a phony, piece of crap person. And I feel like they can tell; just because they're three years old doesn't mean they're actually stupid.

I also have NO idea how to talk to little kids. For example, I feel like using a normal adult vocabulary with them earns me some blank, drooling expressions. But trying to talk to them "on their level" seems incredibly condescending at the least, if not detrimental to the development of their vocabulary.

Watching girls my age handle babies and toddlers with ease never ceases to amaze me. Watching guys my age fumble their way through like a klutz or outright shy away never ceases to make me laugh.

I have two nieces, all you have to do is pretend you're a big dumb monster who can't see them hiding in plain sight and they'll be good to go for hours. Never introduce the "airplane"...one more time is never one more time. Your lower back and arms will fall off from exhaustion, but the alternative crying is worse.

I don't know if I was an anomaly as a kid, but I remembered watching my brother and cousins play video games for hours. I never asked to play( I knew I wouldn't be allowed) but I still loved pointing out areas where they needed to go, or a strategy they should try. The occasional punch on the arm from a frustrated gamer was the price to pay. But good lord my nieces can't just sit and watch a movie, let alone someone else play a game. They RACK UH DISCIPLINE!


On a side note. I've found some crackers that slid behind a box of baking soda in my kitchen cabinet and have eaten once again. My rent has been payed for the month but my job will surely be compromised after this extended leave of unapproved absence. A job search will have to begin once the movements of those who lurk above are discovered. I had begun to get so hungry that I contemplated consuming one of the many insects that dwell here with me. Those massive centipedes that lurk inside the walls... hunger does strange things to the mind.

Thankfully the ravenous hunger has passed and I have devoted most of my days to deep meditation. The whispers, unlike I had previously thought, are not speaking incoherent nonsense. They speak entire sentences of deep philosophical knowledge. I have taken to asking questions, and have even on a few occasions gotten what one could consider a response. Though it is difficult to hear at times with so many voices incessantly talking at once. I am beginning to warm to the idea of simply leaving my abode. The fear is still stabbing sharply in my stomach, but I'm seeing no true alternative. That's all I have to say about that.

Children... oh boy. I’ve had to teach kids between the ages of 5 and 13 how to ride horses for the past couple of years for a horseback riding summer camp. I can tolerate most children, though some just drive me up the wall. They really are reflections of how well their parents do their job. You can tell when their parents are pushovers or tiger moms or just too hard on them based on how the kids act. Not the kids’ faults if the parents are idiots, though it’s hard to remember that sometimes.

@Foxxx Haha, I understand the frustration you probably felt. It’s bad enough just watching over them, making sure they don’t hurt themselves or do something stupid, but trying to teach them stuff can be a total pain at times. I don’t think speaking to children is about the vocabulary as much as it is about the respect, though. Yeah, you want to use simpler words, but that’s not the biggest problem with how adults treat kids. From my observations, if you treat anyone -child or teen or adult- like you have certain expectations of them, they’ll probably meet them. If you’re condescending to a child and expect them to fail at understanding you or at completing a task, that’s certainly not going to empower them to go above and beyond. If you expect them to succeed (given the task is reasonable based on the context), they can sense that in your tone of voice/body language and it tends to give them confidence and a bit of respect for you. But every kid is different, so I probably shouldn’t generalize. I just try to balance between. I try to be patient, understand that they’re still learning, and have short attention spans. At the same time, I try to be respectful of them by remembering that they’re capable of a lot (I have some stories lol) and treating them like they’re as capable as they are.

I’m not great with children, I can be short-tempered at times, but they’re fun to be around. @Magus I feel your pain; I give the kids I work with piggyback rides sometimes and they are very persistent for more. Other times, I just pop them up into the air and catch them, and it’s always funny to hear them laughing. The counselors and I also play Mafia with them and that’s kinda fun because I get to practice making stories up on the spot and the kids always enjoy it.

@PoemNerd212

"I've had to teach kids between the ages of 5 and 13 how to ride horses..." My condolences. I bet you have some wild stories about that.

I agree with you. Yes, it wasn't all bad. Most of the kids were well behaved and most of the parents didn't just abandon their children but instead kept an eye on them.

The older kids were sometimes trouble because they just didn't give a shit about what I had to say. I have no problem dealing with that. The younger kids were sometimes trouble because when I tried to tell them something they were like little drunk people, to steal a beautiful description, and couldn't understand a word I was saying. There quickly came a point where I felt like I was trying to communicate with a dog.

"No, don't do that." *stares blankly, then goes back to what they were doing*

"Okay, you have to come off now." *starts crying*

Christ almighty lol.

I was thankful when parents told their kid that they had to also listen to what I said. When parents told them that, they listened a thousand times better. Most of the time though I just stood around drinking hot cider and looking at my phone, to be completely honest.

Your advice about how to deal with the average child is very sound, but let's just say I don't have a lot of confidence in myself regarding this. I struggle to be "commanding" in the appropriate way because I have a hard time bringing myself to play the role of parent for kids who aren't even mine. The situation has to be relatively extreme for me to step in.

And for whatever reason most kids don't like me anyway lol. I don't know if it's because they scare me, but even in my own family I always feel like I'm the least favorite. Can't say I blame them though. I'm probably just not very fun. xD But that's because I don't know how to have fun in the same way that they have fun without coming across as faking it. I also don't get a lot of opportunities.

I can only be engrossed so many times in a single sitting by all the "c001 st00f" a child wants to show me before I need to go have some adult-fun and get black-out drunk. I can't lie though, I don't hate kids. I actually like them! I'm just not good with them yet, but I'd really like to have some someday.

Welp, I'm done de-railing this blog post. Kids will be kids amiright.