As writers, we're all acutely familiar with the difficulties involved with overcoming our sometimes crippling self-doubt. It's often a hard-fought battle. In my case, the battle is occasionally won, but never the war. It's hard to remember that self-doubt is all in your own head. Especially when life kicks you in the shins, steals your cupcakes, and pushes you down on your ass like the big bully it can be.
That's where I am right now. Wondering how best to get back at the bully.
The good fight isn't going so well. Recently I had to move cross country. I made the decision to leave my safety net (job of 11 years) and do this thinking that I had a safety net waiting for me. Someone slashed my net right out from under me. My resulting job hunt has left me shaken in my abilities/skills.
I'm at a crossroads. I have literally everything I've worked so hard for the last 11 years to lose, my savings, new home, car, and now no safety net. Do I continue to crawl through the slush piles looking for a job I'm going to hate doing something I'd rather not be doing? Or do I bite the bullet and actually try to write?
I've always tried to approach my writing in a very practical way. I never thought I'd be able to really give it the time or attention I wanted, much less be able to do it professionally. Can I even get past my own self-doubt to try to make a go of it?
I just don't know. I really hate not knowing.
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