osarsiph Jan 11, 2012
Hey not bad. Right off the bat I wanted to make a suggestion that I read once. Show don't tell. Instead of the first line: "A small town that houses a few hundred men, women, and children is bustling with activity. Today the town is overcrowded with people. Strangers from the surrounding villages had gathered here to witness an execution. The small cobbled streets had never been so crowded."


The town was small, and only a few red brick houses stood along the long cobblestone road that wound through the center. The road was old and and many of the stones were cracked at the center, countless wagon wheels and hooves leaving their mark.

The road had not seen much traffic since the rail-road had left five years ago. With the railroad the fancy department store had also gone. Now, only the saloon and the dilapidated general store were all that remained.

Today however, the old road was filled with people making their way towards the village square, a flood of strangers who had seldom ever trodden this road. They were here for one thing, the execution.

See what I mean?