Maybe This Time

Your awareness is good. Its just another addiction. My addictions have included, smoking, alcohol, gambling, internet forums, twitter, food, negative thinking especially ruminating, the list goes on. Now I think I had some kind of game addiction at one stage. yeah it was mahjong. Oh and slot machines. Often the addictions would overlap.
The problem is quitting. There is a void you have to fill. If you can find a fresh self-discipline from deep within, that's ideal.
Replace it with a healthy addiction like swimming or the gym perhaps? Read books instead of going online.
I think we all have addictions now. Especially our phones and social networking. And deep down we know we are not doing the right thing. There' s something missing in our life. A Christian might say it is Jesus Christ.

Now this I can relate to. Youtube and video games somehow suck all my time away and EVERY time I go to sleep at the end of a wasted day, I feel pretty guilty about it. I briefly replaced this addiction with smoking weed and going for a walk and hiking. Which was actually kind of cool. But when I hiked through the local area (PV) enough times the habit devolved into the stereotypical just smoking weed in the garage and then playing GTA or Stellaris. Which, is "fun" in a way. One can argue these kinds of behavior brings joy. But nothing tops an actual accomplishment. It's been enough time since the last time I accomplished anything worthwhile and I'm starting to realize that videogames are a shoddy replacement for the feeling of accomplishing something. At least for me. Even youtube can sometimes, not always, be like that. Like, man I'm learning all this stuff. Gaining artistic perspective like a mothafocka right now. But, the few times youtube videos actually do inspire me, it's usually when I stumble upon one telling me to stop wasting my time.

Only way to break out of it is to be mindful. Which is hard. But, the best way to get started on that is to be mindful as you make mistakes. So play a video game, but just be aware of what you're doing as you do it. For me, I generally get caught up and only come to my senses when I'm done and exhausted and it's like 2 am. But, when I take active effort to just say "Okay, I'll go ahead and play this game. But I am wasting time right now. And if I keep wasting time like this, I may get old and have nothing to show for my time spent on this planet. Have fun!" Sometimes, I forget about it. Sometimes I think about it intermittently while playing a game until I've had enough of the nagging so I just close the game to sit down and write or read or do some homework. And, yeah... That voice goes away.

So I guess what I'm saying is: try to rewire your brain into not enjoying wasting time. Because the only reason you waste time, is because you enjoy it. But if you make it less enjoyable, on your own terms -- because god knows if a nagging parent or guilt tripping sibling tells you not to do it, all you want to do is keep doing it --, you'll start to form the right habits.

But you posted this a month ago! So, how's this situation going now?