Reworking introductory chapters
Sometimes when you're editing something just doesn't sit right, and it just sticks in your craw and eats at you. Last night, I had one of those moments while trying to get to sleep. It was nearly 4am EDT before I manged to fall asleep, and my thoughts kept going back to Kate, my MC, and both this book and the new one I'm halfway starting. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out what kept my minding moving so much until it dawned on me.
The opening to the first novel's second chapter performed better then the first, because the first, while having it's good moments, info dumped, which is a hard thing to avoid when doing any kind of science fiction because of the worlds we work with. So, in an experiment, I spend all day today combining the best of the first, with the best of the second, and creating an opening scene where what happens to my MC to require a cybernetic body is seen by the reader instead of referred to in passing. While before, there'd been a chapter (chapter 1) to the changing of bodies, it really didn't cover WHAT happened much.
Why? Because it helped to pull some of the drama onto Kate instead of her being a secondary character during the first chapter when it should be about her. I think this chapter will be better. Although I do like a bit of dialogue between Lisa Thomson, who'll be one of the three MC's that'll revolve around this world.
Now I'll make some slight adjustments to the third chapter to bring it back in line with the rest of the novel, and it'll be settled. Sometimes it pays to listen to your gut.
Reyes looked over at the bed, and placed his hands on his hips. “Almir better not commit suicide, Doctors!”
Matthews looked at Reyes. “She won’t,”
Lisa looked at the two men, and her eyes blazed like burning coals. “Listen to you two? ‘She won’t?’ Do you know how stupid that sounds? The girl’s in pain and afraid, and since neither of you will man up, then I’ll do the job for you. Get back with me when you guys grow a pair.”
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