You're welcome. I wasn't trying to be harsh, but that is one of my pet peeves. Or when someone uses 'then' when they mean 'than.' Good luck.
Not trying to be snarky. Just wondered why everyone was saying it is third person narrator when it is clearly omniscient.
"The molten azurak spread it's wings in defiance." It's means IT IS, so your sentence reads: The molten azurak spread IT IS wings in defiance.
Punctuation goes inside quotation marks. "The story could work without", is incorrect.
To me a good plot is one that keeps me turning the pages to find out what's going to happen next, and one that is not easily figured out. And...
Really? You guys are all writers and you don't know this is called "omniscient" narration?
Separate names with a comma.