Both good points. I guess I could set it aside and just read it over again. There are more contexts than just 'she' and 'her' when in third person...
Hmm...I'll trade it out. Perhaps I can have another character that gets introduced later belittle her a bit and point out she's younger.
Sometimes the change is incredibly radical and disjoints you from the story. I had such happen to me one time when reading about a character in...
Perhaps I should explain just why I state young woman specifically. This story started out as a first person narrative ages ago, and the character...
After taking these responses into account I've rewritten it a little. How does this feel? (I kept the young woman bit for several reasons; mostly...
Character introduction has always been something I struggled with mildly -and that almighty first page in a story is probably one of the biggest...
Edolas and Eva "Where do I start?" The deep voice of the Drow resonated through the cell as Edolas stood; the chains still binding his wrists...
Edolas and Eva "I think you'll have to fight some of us for that honour," Said Evan, his hands on his hips, but a slight smile toying around the...
Shes five.
Edolas and Eva Edolas had not once closed his eyes again as soon as the storm was upon them. Neither did Eva. Rage clouded his vision as he saw...
tbh Edolas is not the kind that will go down easilly. im gonna pop u a collab Fox cuz otherwise he'll just end up caging himself in his room with...
its a curse from the latest rp server on minecraft ive been playing lol ...sadly my character is the most sorry excuse of a living being ever...
Edolas and Eva Voices. Voices all around him. Waves churning, bodies stirring, all of it nearly drove him mad. And he probably would have gone...
Separate names with a comma.