Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

The people you're referring to aren't going to listen after the six hundredth nagging anymore than they did after three hundred.

 

I'm not crazy about piercings either, but it's a modern fad/style. (And I do have pierced ears myself ...have had them for nearly 40 years.) If you excluded everybody with a facial piercing or a tattoo from your potential workforce, you'd be eliminating lots of very qualified young people. The generation before me hated longer hair, blue jeans, casual dress, women who didn't wear red lipstick, etc. Styles evolve.

My own little bugbear, besides the tattoos and the piercings? I really dislike dyed hair. I get so fed up seeing it on everybody. I'm also not crazy about seeing horrendous rolls of flab sticking out between top and bottom clothing—on either men or women. I cringe when I see bra straps being flaunted underneath clothing (like spaghetti straps) that wasn't designed to be worn with a bra. I've got lots of little fashion dislikes. But, unlike my parents' generation, I wouldn't forbid these things, either in schools, workplaces or whatever. It's just another generation's preferences ...or in the case of dyed hair, something that everybody 'does' now. (Except me.)

I used to hate beards as well—in fact, when I was a child, men with beards were very scary unless they were Santa—but hey, ho, I'm now married to one! Mind you, he doesn't like my pierced ears.

 

The whingers at work; the only time they're happy is when they're miserable.

 

I dream of a day when people will be judged on the content of their character rather than the colours of their skin.

 

Phone game ads where you're stuck for 30 sec. watching someone play like an idiot. The fact that I can see exactly what the idiot is doing wrong doesn't entice me to download the game. It just pisses me off that I'm stuck watching it!

 

"Use your words."

 

So I have this antivirus software, right? It's the first time since owning a computer that I actually paid real money for antivirus software. And it's fine, really. Stop viruses good and stuff, whatever. However, every single time I open a Word document, it pops up a little box at the bottom right of my screen to tell me that it's got my back and it's always running in the background while I'm working.

Or, to put it another way, it throws an annoying red and white bubble up onto my screen, thereby interrupting whatever I've started typing, just to tell me that it's still running in the background. a;ldkjfa;sdlfjasf!!!

 

People at work talking to me like I’m an imbecile. Yes, okay, you’ve been with the company 30 years to my 18 months, but I know how to use a pair of fucking hedge trimmers! I also know the ‘correct’ way to lift a heavy object and that when the mower starts struggling I need to turn it off before unblocking the chute and/or blades.

 

Free virus removal software. I really should have learnt by now that it doesn't exists, not in reality. And yet I went and downloaded one called SpyHunter 5. I knew there'd be a catch as it was busy doing its scan, and I suspected it would be the usual fare of finding the viruses (or probably generating fictitious ones) before explaining you need to buy the product to actually remove them.

And so it proved. Only this one had a twist. I could buy the product and remove the viruses there and then, or wait 48 hrs and have them removed for free. So I waited and today was the day the 48 hrs expired. I booted up the PC and waited (with little hope) for a pop-up telling me the 48 hrs was up and I could remove the gremlins. So I looked desperately for the button that would do this... nothing. I had the option of performing another scan and that was about it. I looked everywhere and there was no option to remove anything anywhere. So I reluctantly his scan again and hoped I'd get the option to remove once the scan was complete. So I sat and waited the 90 minutes (for a second time), and yes you guessed it. I got the same message: I could buy the product and have the viruses removed immediately or wait 48 and get it done for free.

I'm trying to uninstall, but guess what? This triggers its own uninstaller which freezes at 33%. What a surprise!

 

People at busy junctions who press the button for crossing without realising they’re not influencing the pattern of the traffic lights one iota. The little green ‘safe to cross’ man will flash when the lights change to red, and you pressing the button has no bearing whatsoever on when that happens.

 

The one in front of my apartment will give a walk signal within ten seconds of the push.

 

The fact that selection pressures combined with chance opportunity of random mutation did not intersect in the early part of the evolutionary game to produce a more efficient means of dealing with waste material than pooping.

 

Dunno, unless it's horrifying or sudden it's something I rather enjoy doing. In The Rape of the A*P*E*., Allan Sherman describes the six pleasures in life (I don't remember the order for certain except for #6) as Eat, Drink, Sleep, Shit, Piss, and Fuck. All other enjoyment derives from one or more of those, in his formulation.

 

Expelling things from the body always seems to feel pleasant—even sneezing has an almost orgasmic quality to it, so does the release of tears. There must be an evolutionary reason for this.

 

Yes, there are exceptions - such as at zebra crossings (single point crossings) - but I’m talking about the crossing points at major multi-way junctions. The buttons at these are mere placebos.

 

....says no woman ever....

 

I'm not sure if it's the vomiting itself that feels bad, or if the nausea is just too overpowering. Just as shitting doesn't feel good if you've got the flu, but that's a special case.

 

Lol, ok, I guess that's another special case. And it's probably because human babies are by necessity so large when birthed. Who knows, maybe laying an egg feels amazing? But because of the special requirements posed by the human brain the fetus needs to be carried far longer in the uterus than other animals, and is far larger at birth. Gestation would probably be even longer but Carl Sagan informs me that there's a hard limit to how wide the pelvis can become in order to pass the head, before women would be unable to run or walk very well. So human babies are born in a state of unparalleled helplessness and must undergo a prolonged childhood and adolescence while being protected more than any other animal requires, in order for that massive brain to grow in all the way.

Think of is as crapping out a turd so big that it nearly tears you in half. That doesn't feel so good, though normal shitting does. Does this mean humans are big pieces of shit? Well that depends on who you ask I guess.

 

1. My lawn mower is broken.

2. It broke shortly after I had started to mow, so I‘m left with a lawn which is quite high already and has now the opurtunity to grow even more (except for the two stripes I managed to mow).

Since I have no idea what is wrong (the battery is loaded and when I press the starter the lights at the side begin to glow, otherwise nothing happens) I guess I have to take it in for repairs.