I don't mind "mana" being used in a story. As a source of supernatural power, it goes back hundreds or thousands of years in the belief systems of human beings. It didn't come from gaming, though today it is commonly used in gaming. The problem is how you implement it, and Dylan has implemented it in a way that seems like a gaming mechanic rather than a natural part of the world order.
So you guys think his base motivation in writing this is from his gaming experience? Surely that`s the worst way to write a novel.
Well as I talked about before, resource cost exist to make a video game harder. I can't imagine a real life situation where a wizard would have some kind of conscious idea of his mana pool numbers, or the concrete mana costs of his spells. Aside from immediately taking me out of the story, and making me imagine a character who sees everything through a HUD, it's just shitty writing. But Saccoccio gets even more gamey, talking about how soldiers should "replenish their health" as if they don't have real wounds, just a little green bar. He says in his advert on Amazon that his book is for people who enjoy World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, and Zelda From his interview here: https://authorsinterviews.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/here-is-my-interview-with-dylan-saccoccio/
Yeah, that's the problem. He has utilized it as a gaming mechanic. If it were just some magical source, and even if the spellcaster had some vague notion of whether he had exhausted it, I think it could be made to work. Presenting it as basically a gaming mechanic, used for game balance, is a big mistake in a story (unless, maybe, you're writing parody or something).
I don't think there is any doubt. I've read a lot of stuff from beginning fantasy writers that read like D&D campaigns transferred to paper. This kind of reminds me of that, and it's not generally a good way to go.
Ok, that`s one of his main problems right there, he never read a fantasy book until book three? Are you kidding, that`s the first thing they tell you, the best writers are the ones who read the most. You can`t write what you haven`t first read!
Yeah. Maybe he read a lot of non-fantasy? My opinion is that it is important to read inside and outside of your genre to really be an effective writer.
Also, I should add that I don't believe he didn't read fantasy. This book so far draws on enough fantasy that I find it hard to believe. There were places where his phrasing reminded me directly of other fantasy works. I'll have to see if I can find them again. Maybe he got it all from video games, who knows.
Totally agree with that, I read all sorts of genres, ok it helps that I`m interested in all sorts of genres, but still. It is possible that his entire frame of reference is from video games, but it`s hard to believe. Perhaps he read other genres just didn`t read fantasy. It`s also possible that a lot of video games are also influenced by fantasy novels.
Well he said he originally formatted it as a screenplay, which explains those stupid bars, and the way he's trying to tell two stories at once. Because of the trope of the woman fleeing with her child (I have to say again, she did a really great job with that one), my guess is he's seen a lot of fantasy movies. I can think of at least three that begin like that.
By the way, guys, I feel really weird saying this but...this has been kind of fun. So I'll tell you what. I anyone wants to pitch in and help me buy the second book, well I'll read that too. I know there's stuff about soliciting on this site, but if someone is interested in hearing more about it maybe I can set up a kickstarter or something and just see who is interested? It's, like, three bucks, but I'm still looking for a job. And for some reason I feel like this should be a community effort. Tell me if that's crazy.
Sorry mate, no can do, got a lot of work on at the moment. I`ll pop back and read up if you guys are still going to critique but I don`t have the time to do anything more.
Chapter 4: Two page rant about a village having their weapons taken from them. Not sure how this is remotely relevant to the story. Two more pages of a great tree sending a fair on a quest to find I guess the chosen one. Too flowery for my taste. One page of the boy who was saved by the tree people. He is at some palace that is familiar to him even though he has no memory of it. Back to the fairy for one page. She sees the guy who is making people give up their weapons and fears him. She continues her quest to find the chosen one. Another page where the boy is nearly run down by a horse, the rider was a woman and a small girl that the boy instantly falls in love with. Three pages of the fairy talking to a boy. He tricks her into giving her name, apparently this is a bad thing to know a fairies name. She them threatens him. Seems she is some kind of Rambo fairy that will fuck him up if he tries to use her. Half a page the fairy finds the chosen and tries to awaken him from a nightmare. A page describing the boys nightmare. He is dreaming of the reptile like king of the women warriors from earlier in the story. No dialog, just a scary figure trying to suck the life from him. A couple of pages on where the boy and the fairy are traveling to the tree. Turns out the boy has had nightmares since the guy getting rid of all the swords took charge. The fair thinks the boy might have a destiny to take out this guy. Its all kind of foggy. Couple of pages of the boy and his fairy walking through his village. It then cuts back to the old man and the boy after his vision. The boy never makes it to the tree, what a rip off. Thank God this is over. I don't think I could read more anyway. I only finished because I thought I owed it to Jack for the pains he went through.
"Tricks." He asks her her name and she tells him. Saccoccio thinks he tricks a barista out of coffee every time he sneakily offers her money for it. Because he doesn't understand the way words work. Thank you for your service.
I am laughing and cringing at the same time now Jack. I will find book 2 and download it tonight. I will share with you Jack, I just need a day of rest before we continue. Do you know the name of book two?
I only used tricks because he did, I just thought I missed something. I did not reread the last chapter, so I just assumed I missed it amongst some of his descriptions.
You might be right, some gave it five stars. I would not have left a review because I would only give it one star. Only because it had one chapter that somewhat made sense. Maybe book two is when the real story starts.
I'd be interested. Just need to make sure I'm up withstanding Saccoccio's higher level of consciousness. Let's see..... FOREWORD To you, that you might awaken to understand that the whole universe is a dance of energy and that energy is God.... Ohhh...my head....
Steven Erikson.. 8-ology reads really well but it sounds exactly like DnD. Guys with massive power, swords that glow with evil auras, and so on. He's a well loved writer by many but it's hard to not smile at certain elements :3
Those are great books. It's a 10-book series. It came from an AD&D and then GURPS campaign, and it's a good example of the rare exception where you can make a good story based on something like that. Mainly because he didn't try to limit the story to an RPG-style story, or the characters to RPG-style characters. The powerful, swords with auras, etc. all predate D&D. In fact, D&D got those elements from swords and sorcery fiction, not the other way around. I may have had a different reaction to it because I read all of those old S&S stories before I ever played an RPG, so I don't see those elements are automatically derivative of RPGs. It's how they are handled - whether the author is using game-like mechanics in the story. If you just have super-powerful people, items with auras or egos, or what have you....well, that stuff goes back to the 1930s
