Recently been plotting a zombie horror story -though I doubt the publishers or agents would kick up a fuss about it- the main character has recently been separated from his partner of three years, for the last two years the partner emasculated the main character called Daniel and he spent most of his time minding his own business at work and working overtime to stay away from her. He used to be a happy, fun loving kind of guy but his future is dull and he just seems to fit into the background. I think that every character should have some 'realism' in them. No main character is dashingly good looking, smart and invincible. Daniel is definitely flawed and definitely vincible. Any comments on this character? Anything wrong with what I've done? Constructive Criticism would be smiled upon.
Remeber that a character is not a collection of adjectives. A good characte is a simulation of a human being, and will therefore exhibit contradictions, quirks, and utterly surprising incidents.
Hint: people who work overtime get noticed, to good or bad ends. If he's a good worker, he'll get noticed as reliable and hard-working, very likely causing some jealousy from his peers and some respect from his superiors, I guess. It'd be hard to mind your own business when people notice you like that, so working overtime = no sitting in the background. Now, from what you've explained of him (am I missing something here? stop me if I'm mistaken), I don't see where along the line he would have stopped being happy and fun-loving. I mean, I don't think being whipped makes you unhappy or dull. Some people like being whipped. Now, depending on where he works he might have no future, but really, being happy and fun-loving is an attitude that is far above having a crap job or no future. I'll admit that I have pre much no future, but I'm happy and fun-loving all the time because I'm too daft to be boring. I don't know what else I can say for him. It doesn't seem too bad, but I will say that he seems like a replication of the main character from that excrementitious, fictitious piece of cinematic trash called "Wanted"; the crap movie with Angelina Jolie, yeah. I don't know about that character being emasculated or anything, but he's a dull office worker who fits into the background, then he becomes a douche who shoots people.
Well he works a lot of the time but he's a slacker, he's happy around his friends and generally depressed most of the time when he is alone, he gets a lot of **** from his co-workers who seem to taunt him a lot and the assistant manager seems to have a grudge against him. This is what he was like before the comitting act, I mean, once things go down and we're into it, you see he's a fun loving guy, hes comitted and impulsive and he's just been knocked down a bit in the past which kind of stops him being the way he wants to be. It sort of resembles the the main character from Wanted but it's more like ordinary people, in extraordinary situations. I understand there's got to be quirks and such, is there any way I can better my character around here? Like templates and such? Thankyou for the feedback, it all goes to a good cause.
Gross, no. Ew. Please, never say such horrid words to me again. Templates should be a massive no-no. There do not HAVE to be quirks. I can't say this enough, but there's no right way to write anything, be it a scene, plot, character, or death, or anything. You just do what you need to do and remember that flow is what you're aiming for. Flow is what makes things feel natural.
You can make the character whatever you want-but don't change his basic behavorial pattern. If he was fun-loving, he won't suddenly become stolid. No doubt, if his girlfriend/partner is just too damn cranky, he would be cranky in the relationship, not after it has been ended. Of course, a general lowering of his self-esteem would occur and you can show that he's wary of approaching good-looking girls, etc., but his fundamental personality won't change-maybe you can show that he becomes more cynical and brash or as I said before-of a very low self esteem-yet fun-loving as before? There are many possibilities. However, the most important thing to remember is that even the most boisterously loud, gregarious people handle unhappiness the same way as others do: by getting angry, frustrated and sad. So you've got to find the balance.
