I might be over thinking things, but I think I got a plot hole. I wrote a lot for camp NanoWrimo and one of my characters had a kid with someone old enough to run for president in the 2016 election. Even if he was in 40's and born by 1975/1976 at the latest my girl character was born on October 15, 1987. I was thinking that she had the kid in 2009ish, but the story I am thinking of writing for November NaNoWriMo takes place in summer of 2004 when she was 16. I thought of introducing the future baby daddy that the young girl will meet, but I am afraid that there is a difference between a 16 year old being attracted by a guy who is about 30 years old verses a 22 year old having a kid with a guy in his mid thirties. I am not saying that 16 year old has a physical relationship with the guy twice her age, but that about five years later they have a son together. Okay I will explain more in a bit.
I have an age difference of app. 30 yrs xD I do think it's great as a plot... it was pretty difficult at first and witheld a lot of conflict for both of us, on the in- and the outside.
Age difference won't really matter, and I'm pretty sure that relationship was more acceptable 15 to 20 years ago than it is now as well.
I'm getting bad wibes from guys who date much younger women. Know one who cheated against his pregnant wife when he found an even younger woman. Locked her in, shattered her glasses with his fist, hid children's passports, threatened with a knife, told horror stories about torn faces and corrupt staff at the women's shelter. The fear of being both older and unemployed can lead to panic for someone seeing marriage as a slave deal. Yesterday he called himself a monster, that I was a better man.
As long as nobody is underage during the course of the relationship, it's perfectly okay. It's up to you, the author, to make the relationship seem plausible. (Of course it's okay for an underage person to be attracted to somebody older, but in order for it to be acceptable in today's society, NOTHING can happen between them until the young person comes of age. No dating, no kissing, no nothing.) I personally know a woman who married a guy who was more than 30 years older than she was—but she was in her mid-20s when they met, so nothing untoward occurred. The downside is, she is still hale and hearty, and he has been dead for over 10 years. But they were truly in love, had two children (both now grown up) and it worked for them. I also was roommates with a girl who had grown up with a huge crush on one of her male high school teachers. He was married at the time, and she just had a crush on him, which he apparently did not reciprocate. However, she qualified as a teacher herself, and got hired at her old school ...and guess what? He was by then divorced, and they got together, got married, and are still happily married more than 40 years later, with sons and grandsons of their own. Nobody blinked an eye, because there had BEEN no relationship beforehand. I'm not sure of the age gap between them, but I think it's around 10 years.
I get bad vibes off cradle robbers too but that doesn't sound like it has anything to do with dating younger women. He'd have been an abusive piece of shit regardless.
That guy gives me bad vibes as well - however I don't thinks that's a case to generalize. Abuse isn't really linked to age difference in my experience... I guess wether a plot and the relationship works in a book depends upon the relationship itself, not upon the age difference. Surely, if the only reason to date a younger woman is the ego-kick from age difference, that's sad. But if there's more? Just like she's a good match by personality or else?
What is the concern exactly? People will be turned off? It could happen. If you introduce her future baby daddy when she's underage I feel like you'll need to go out of your way to make people feel better about it. Like the older man being oblivious to the girl until a later date (at least in a woman/sexual sense). Unless they aren't supposed to feel good about it? As far as a sixteen year old liking a thirty year old...like a crush or actually going after him? Crushing is normal, but I feel like most girls wouldn't go for the man because it doesn't feel safe.
personally, I think significant age gaps are weird (especially if they met when one was in a "vulnerable" stage). Example, one of my teammates had a relationship with our coach and he even quit so that he could continue the relationship, and then when she graduated, they got married. Granted, she was like 21-22 when this alls tarted, but it was still very weird, and gave me bad vibes. Another classmate got engaged to someone who was our professor. I dont find these appropriate at all for multiple reasons...
I guess if they didnt know each other when they were "younger" and just met and fell in love when they were older, thats cool. One of my childhood friends met her spouse online dating, and he's 40 years older. The site matched them up, and their personalities mesh well and they love each other. So that worked out
I personally don't find them weird, but I'm in a 22 year difference age gap relationship. My sister is in one too. My old best friend is in one as well. What they all have in common is that our partners are in the same social circles that we are. My sister and her husband were both very involved in the church and had the same friends. My old friend worked at the same hospital her husband did. Me...uh, well I'm a freak so let's not dig too deep there.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. It wasn’t that long ago that is was very common. My great-grandfather marri d his second wide when was over 45 and she was 18 or 19.
