Hi. I am working on a plot for a series inspired by main two aspects: 1). Conspiracy theories, e.g. Zeitgeist the Movie about the financial elite and their greed, corruption, warfare, manipulation of people through news and the media, pollution of the environment, the destruction of life on Earth in the name of profit and global warming. 2). Teaching of Buddhism - Spirituality, Mindfulness & Meditation inspired by the book "The Power of Now" written by Eckhart Tolle. How those two aspects are interwoven: I want to show how the flaws of human mind-mechanics are the cause of all the suffering in the world. Sorry the typos and if the plot sounds a bit corny - that's why I decided to get some professional help I have split my plot into two main categories: The External and The Internal. The External is the main plot and what happens on the outer level: The main character (I'll call him "MC") loses his brother and goes vigilante. The Internal is the subplot where the MC's mind is visualized throughout the story; he experiences anger, fear and depression. When he finally hits the threshold of psychological pain he is on brink of suicidal thoughts. Suddenly, something happens to him and he realizes that he is not his thoughts. External: A street gang kills MC's (main character) brother MC finds the gang and kills them one by one After the gang is dead, MC finds out that the gang was only a little brick of a big puzzle (the gang have been receiving orders from the higher ups all along) MC chases his lead and finds out that those who hired the gang, were prestigious multinational corporation owners (and oil companies). MC's brother was a scientist who invented creations to help people and the environment. The top elite hired the gang to kill MC's brother in the name of profit MC starts investigating further and realizes, that those who really are responsible for his brother's death and the things that aren't "right" in this world, are the TFE ("The Financial Elite" AKA "the one percent") An old accomplice of MC's brother (who worked for TFE) contacts MC and supplies him with infomation that will helps him track down TFE, their whereabouts, the things they've done and their future plans (proof: documents, recordings, etc.) MC begins his hunt for TFE. He punishes them one by one (not just killing them, he's punishing them creatively and then killing them) The information of TFE's doing is leaked and broadcasted throughout the world. It awakens people and makes them angry. The massive riots begin in the streets (much larger than the Occupy Movement that we know today) This creates a global revolution and the monetary system finally collapses. Internal: MC is angry and depressed because his brother has been killed. His thoughts take a visual manifestation of spheres that swarm around his head and add to his mental instability MC's mental condition becomes worse by every moment. Killing the thugs who murdered his brothers only gives him a temporary satisfaction which quickly drowns in the sea of his mental instability After having killed the entire gang, MC gets a temporary relief but the nightmares begin to choke him. The victims he killed now haunt him in his dreams. MC tries to escape this state by taking drugs, alcohol and anything that will numb the pain. The MC's internal state is now chaotic. Short lived highs from temporary pleasures and painful bad trips awaken suicidal thoughts. The MC's life is painful, meaningless and he feels that there is only one way out. Something happens within him. A radical shift of his consciousness awakens a new paradigm. He leaves the society (the noisy and polluted town) and wanders off into a forest. He meditates, which is extremely hard for him in the beginning and suddenly finds beauty. (the entire progress up to this point will be visualized) He keeps falling into the madness of mind and returning to the meditative state until he finally recognizes the madness for what it is - he learns to smile at it. As you see, my plot might seem too huge and abstract and I might need some restrictions. Although, I have been working on this plot for over 10 years and I am very ambitious. I am not sure whether this is going to be a series with live actors, animation or a mix of both. I will keep updating this topic if anyone will be willing to assist me with the plot or at least provide me with some form of feedback. Please be sceptical, ask me some questions and tell me what is good so far and what is not so good and why. Thanks in advance
Your idea is fabulous...unless it's terrible. It's new and fresh...unless it's old and cliched. How you write it will determine where it falls on the continuum. And how you write it will depend entirely on you. Just as you came up with this idea on your own, so must you come up with everything else on your own, because none of us can do justice to whatever was in your gut when you came up with it. Only you. There will several who think they can, and will post to this thread thinking that they are helping you...but they're not. They will be trying to do for you what ever writer has to do for him/herself - take full responsibility for their own projects. This forum can help with many aspects of writing, but the thing that makes it all go - the creative spark - is not one of them. I will make one suggestion, though. I see you falling into a common trap for novice writers in that you are planning a "series". If you are writing for your own pleasure, it doesn't matter. But if you are writing in the hope of being published, concentrate on one book, and only one. Make it a completely self-contained story, and make it the best you can. Because agents and publishers as a rule have no interest in a "series" (or "trilogy" or any other number you want to use) from an unknown, unpublished writer. Besides, you would likely find yourself coming up with that super idea for Book III, useless and time-wasting for Book I. I wish you the very best of success.
Thank you for your reply. You are absolutely right; no one knows the true essense of this project besides me. I didn't expect others to do my work for me - I was just looking for some feedback. But I know, that it can be hard writing some feedback on something so abstract. I should have narrowed it down (the part that I wanted to get help with), although it's hard when dealing with a plot of this magnitude. There are many important aspects of this story that have chosen not to mention to keep the topic short and only to display the skeleton of the plot, rather than branching out into details. You are right - I should try to write this as one consistent story rather than focusing on it being a series, which is much more complicated, although not impossible. I want a solid ground for my show - that's why I decided to make the plot so abstract. That way I will have good posibilities to keep making episodes without running out content. I learn so many things about the art of storytelling on my journey of creating this very project and it feels rewarding, although sometimes it also feels like I never get anywhere, because my story gets more and more complex as the time goes by. It is nice having so many elements that I can chose from intuitively, but sometimes I just feel like I am spending more time cleaning my archive of old ideas rather than building onto the ones that I like. I am prepared to kill my darlings in the end, however. But yes - I should really make some sort of Series Development Bible in the end, when I have a consistent story. A collection of all of my ideas sorted by category, character, relevance, etc. I am also aware that there are lots of things that I yet have to learn. I am not planning on going commercial with this thing in a sense, that I am not planning it to be on television. Although, I was thinking about creating a few minute concept trailer for it just to capture the essense, to demonstrate the atmosphere and to include the most important aspects of the show. I was considering Kickstarter. And in the end, I think I will make it as animation. After all, I have skills for that, as well. And then hire some voice actors. Sorry if my reply was too inconsistent and... abstract. That is also what I have to work on - to be more consistent, to keep the main thread and always improve my grammar. My thoughts often fly from one place to another and I have to make a cage to capture them
Soooo what exactly, after meditating, will your mc do? The world has already turned to shit due to rioting, so what is his overarching goal? Is the story about him fighting his insanity? Is he going to create a new government to put everything back in order? You didn't really give us a plot, more so what happens inside the plot while leaving it open ended. I'm not really sure what it is you need help with. I would be glad to help you with whatever want help with. It's just I don't have enough information as to what exactly the plot is to give you any feedback. Of you want feedback on what you've given, I'll say this, the external part sounds a bit like, ”what's the problem here?” The TFE , as you've stated, are a prestigious group of multinational corporation owners (and oil companies). My question is, what exactly did they do? I get the feeling that revealing their plans caused an even bigger problem by causing everyone to riot in the streets. Was the state of the world as much a shit hole as it is after the world had discovered what the TFE really were, than what the world was like before their plans were leaked out? Or was it all just for revenge from the mc that he'd rather the world be a giant ball of mayhem and destruction than have the TFE live another day? Sounds a bit selfish don't you think? The internal part is veerryy abstract, something that, I feel, can only be portrayed in animation or any other type of visual media. It would also need to be explained very thoroughly if you want the general audience to understand it, or even to buy into it. Although, it all could work if you have the skill to make it work. I'm sure the 10 years you've spent on it weren't for nothing.
Soooo what exactly, after meditating, will your mc do? <-- Meditation is the foundation of MC's development. All of his negative thoughts and feelings (past and future) are holding him back. His creativity stifles, his motivation fades, his joy in life diminishes - right until he learns to "let go and surrended". It will be a gradual process. The world has already turned to shit due to rioting, so what is his overarching goal? <-- Real riots will come later when the majority of people will learn the truth - when they will begin to wake up as well - and that would eventually lead to global revolution. MC's goal is to stop the further corruption, pollution, inflation, hunger and foolish overconsumtion of the fossil fuels. And also to hinder the global warming which already is visible on the news due to extreme weather conditions throughout the world. Is the story about him fighting his insanity? <-- Yes. MC is a very intelligent person with a highly active mind and the price that he has to pay for that is insanity. I will include some horror like elements regarding his insanity, using scenes like: being caught in a little room with no doors or windows that is becoming smaller or smaller. I will use metaphors, symbolism and visual effects to illustrate the workings of the mind. I want to create a "visual tutorial" on how the mind works interwoven into the story. Is he going to create a new government to put everything back in order? <-- When he disposes of every member of TFE and completely removes the current government, the riots begin in the streets building up to a global revolution and you think: "the end, happy ending!" but that's not it. MC learns that it hasn't helped much. There will always be someone who will abuse the system for personal gain. Militia, mafia, etc. So I was thinking about an ending like The Watchmen to do a "reboot" (not spoiling it for those who haven't seen it) Of you want feedback on what you've given, I'll say this, the external part sounds a bit like, ”what's the problem here?” The TFE , as you've stated, are a prestigious group of multinational corporation owners (and oil companies). My question is, what exactly did they do? <-- I mention this in the end of this reply: corruption, greed, abuse of power, etc. I get the feeling that revealing their plans caused an even bigger problem by causing everyone to riot in the streets. <-- the revealing of their plans comes at the near end of the story Was the state of the world as much a shit hole as it is after the world had discovered what the TFE really were, than what the world was like before their plans were leaked out? <-- The majority of people are unaware of what is going on. People are generally living on autopilot, either unaware or in denial of all the misery that is happening in the society and the world (manmade misery and the natural catastrophes caused by climate change: floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, extinction of animals). It's like a ticking bomb - people HAVE the power to resist and change things, but they would rather live in this little bubble of denial and dope themselves with drugs, alcohol, stupid entertainment and speak about soccer all day long, rather than about things that really matter (again flaws of the mind mentioned below). TFE make sure to manipulate and numb the mind of the average person through the media: tv, internet, radio, newspaper. Or was it all just for revenge from the mc that he'd rather the world be a giant ball of mayhem and destruction than have the TFE live another day? Sounds a bit selfish don't you think? <-- Not sure what you're implying here. MC is not directly selfish. He tries changing things for the better, but every action has a reaction. And yes - his personal revenge has a pretty big reaction in the end. MC doesn't want his brother to have died in vain - he wants to realize the things his brother stood for and tried to achieve - and yeah ...that has a pretty big price. You can't remove a huge poisonous thorn from your swollen and infected foot without huge amounts of pain and bleeding - but it has to be done, nonetheless. The internal part is veerryy abstract, something that, I feel, can only be portrayed in animation or any other type of visual media. It would also need to be explained very thoroughly if you want the general audience to understand it, or even to buy into it. Although, it all could work if you have the skill to make it work. I'm sure the 10 years you've spent on it weren't for nothing <-- I know I started reading The Power of Now around 2003 and I still have things to learn about the human mind. And the only way I can learn it is through combination of theoretical knowledge combined with my own life experience and intuitive insight on how to explain the complexity of specific aspects of the mind throughout visual art, animtion and sound. It is very complex, but exciting as hell at the same time, so I have no intentions of backup out. To sum things up and to go deeper into the story and MC's agenda: MC starts his quest for revenge because he wants to kill the thugs who murdered his brother. MC isn't really aware of the existance of TFE yet, even though they were the ones who really planned the kill of MC's brother. MC's quest becomes much much bigger when he learns throughout his journey the existance of TFE, their ongoing crimes and their future plans. MC's brother left a video message for him in a hidden place that only they know, incase something would happen to him, which it did. The message is split up into several pieces that are heavily encryptet and when MC gradually decrypts the message with help of some individuals, he learns the truth: that MC brother has been a part of TFE's project once and have been performing scientific experiments and creating inventions, that would only benefit the wealthiest. In other words, he has been a part of something so huge (I am still speculating about what TFE's main Project is - it could be something about using technology for world domination, like RFID chips - or something) that he couldn't grasp the big picture of it - like the scientist who worked on A-bomb - there was so much bureaucracy, that the workers at the lowest level wouldn't know for sure what their work is for. Maybe they tell MC's brother that he is working to do one thing and in the reality, the part of his effort is to create something completely different. After learning the truth about TFE's agenda, MC's brother decided to work against them, even though he knew, that it would eventually result in his death. He dedicated his life to scientific projects trying to correct his mistakes. He started working on inventions and devices that would produce nearly infinite output of clean energy and that meant death for the fossil fuel companies. Ofcourse, fossil fuel companies already have so much power that they are the ones who create the law. They have been supressing everything from electric cars to alternative energies to stay on the top. After watching the video message, MC realizes that his brother has been assassinated by TFE. He learns this after killing the thugs who murdered his brother. So his quest for vengeance is not really over. The three thugs who killed his brother were as ignorant about the existance of TFE - they were merely pawns. MC's brother leaves (for the MC) all of his inventions and unfinished projects at a certain location which he mentions indirectly in the video message. It takes MC some time to find the location, to get the access to the inventions and to learn how to use them. He will meet some characters along the way that will assist him. There is even a character who has been working with MC's brother (same or similar TFE project) who decides to sabotage TFE and to share some significant information with MC. So basically, that is what's MC's journey is about: using his brothers' inventions to ironically overthrow the top members of TFE one by one. I have been inspired by the movie SAW for the punishment methods of TFE members but it's going to be different and probably much more advanced. My project is a reflection of what is going on in the world today, and how much worse it can become in 10, 20 or 50 years from now. I want to combine these facts with teachings of meditation and facts about the mechanics and flaws of the human mind and pack it together into an interesting and visually stunning story with a beautiful soundtrack which I'm also creating by myself. Combining the aspects together: I want to show how flawed the human mind is (by focusing on one character) if unobserved and how much insanity and suffering it creates in the world. I want to show that TFE have the same psychological flaws like greed, ludomania and corruption and how they abuse the system for their personal gain with no regard for the ecosystem of this planet and wellbeing of humans in general. I also want to point out the flaws of the current monetary system - these are old paradigms that can't fit into the world that we know today, because we live in a ressource based economy - and the ressources, let alone oil, are very finite. Yes, I know that I might sound like a hippie or a conspiracy nut with a tinfoil hat, but sublimating my everyday frustrations into art (especially this project) makes life easier instead of just whining about it
