A friend of mine is editing my book and told me that the below should be an dialogue tag not an action tag. I would argue that butting in is an action and therefore should be an action tag. Opinions? “We’ll both have a beer and menus. Thanks.” Jonathan butted in, his voice laced with irritation.
Your friend is correct. It's a dialogue tag. The verb is still directly related to the uttering of the words. It's not a separate action or a deviation in the described action, the latter looking something like: "We'll both have a beer and menus. Thanks." Jonathan had a terrible habit of butting in and no talent for hiding irritation.
So I wrote my own version: Jonathan cut in. “We’ll both have a beer and menus, thanks,” he said, annoyed at being left out of the discussion*. [*or whatever he was irritated by] Then read @Wreybies and I prefer his version.
Actually, Ginger, I like yours better, with one tiny alteration: Jonathan cut in, annoyed at being left out of the discussion. “We’ll both have a beer and menus, thanks.”
That's nice of you, Ed. But since you brought it up, I do that a lot, interrupt the sentence with dialogue. Perhaps I should take a closer look at my use of that technique.
I think that in the order that you present it, it needs to be a tag. If you reversed it, it could be either a tag or a beat. I say that because as presented, it's two actions, and the actions seem out of order--we hear Jonathan speak, and then we're told that he's speaking. It's rather like: The vase tipped and crashed to the floor. Jane knocked into the table and accidentally dislodged the vase. The car pulled neatly into the parking space. Jonathan spied a great parking space and headed for it.
Just a detail: "I'll have a Dos Equis Amber, and she'll have a Heineken." Nobody order just a beer. You have to specify which beer, right? When was the last time you were in a bar and heard anybody just order a beer?
I was thinking that @minstrel ! As a bartender I was reading all these comments from the POV of whoever's getting asked for a beer and imagining the impatient response it would get. "Any particular beer?" "What do you have?" "I'll just get you the menu."
Thanks! I have actually had that conversation with myself already. I was kind of using "beer" as a place holder until I could figure out what I wanted to put there. It will be something more specific in the final draft. Didn't even think about it when I posted it on here and I should have.