What do you think of the prologue?

  1. It's great!

    0 vote(s)
  2. It's alright.

    0 vote(s)
  3. There's a story there..

    0 vote(s)
  4. It could use some work.

    2 vote(s)
  5. I didn't like it at all.

    0 vote(s)
  1. xen-0518

    xen-0518 New Member

    Apr 16, 2018
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    Adventures in Alderra

    Discussion in 'Fantasy' started by xen-0518, Apr 16, 2018.

    Here, I will post what I have written so far for my created land of Alderra.
    Alderra's landmass is very large, and Provinces divide each region. There are lands off the coasts, each containing their own secrets and history.


    The Beginning

    Our story begins in a time where everything was new, and where systems were in place. After the GODS created the land and gave life to it. Explorers roamed the lands and sought adventure, kings and queens helped civilize the culture through the provinces. People seemed to care about our planet and its inhabitants. War was small, just civil. Not very many had died during those times, in end, we resolved issues and returned to our normal daily lives.

    I was young, maybe about 16. That was 167 years ago. We lived heathy, our family. Grew up on the outskirts of Florain city. My mom and dad worked down at the docks, hauling crates from shipments that would come in. They told me of all the boats and ships that would stop by. Each had something unique about it. The captains were also very friendly. When I would go to work with dad, I got to meet lots of people, with lots of stories. I was given a map from one kind young man, he told me that he saw me becoming an adventurer when I was older. Boy, he was right on that one. I visited many places while I was on the sea. Travelled the country, visiting provinces such as Fodway, Mithord, and even Spyra. There were so many new people to meet, fresh characters, and beautiful scenery. When I started, it was only a few years after I received my map of the country, I wanted to fill those places with memories.

    There was one girl I met on an island just off the coast of Ormeadow here. Her name was, Ridaa Tharn. Ridaa was a joyful person. She never had any doubts about anything. She was compiling information about the world, such as the life, different plants, and special sites of high interest that can be found.

    I offered her transport even if she had to take me to the most dangerous of places on our travels. She agreed, and that’s where we formed the most truest of friendships. We began to prepare for our first trip south to the province of Spyra. The land intrigued her, she wanted to know the secret of how the land rose to the sky. It was a magnificent sight, rolling up on the waves, but Spyra was seen across the ocean. If you take a look out the window, you can see the highest mountain peak into the atmosphere. The view just kept increasing in beauty.

    Birds filled the skies, there were monstrous creatures known as Skyrans that were able to soar the skies using their giant wings. smaller creatures like the Fluf take advantage of nature itself, by opening the bulbs on their heads, they are able to hitch rides to higher cliffs using the wind. During evenings, they descend onto the lower cliffs to stay away from the strong winds that may carry them away.

    Ridaa and I experienced many different cultures within Spyra. There are several that pertain to the lower isles. The higher isles contain a much more complex way of living. They have to make trips regularly back down to the ground for supplies. The gravity is found to be quite the troublesome of all. There are areas where you could be as light as a feather, and the next, you’re heavy like a boulder. We adventured among the most known of islands, only making it half-way up, Ridaa had gathered enough information for her books about the land of Spyra.

    We continued our journey to the land of dwarves and elves, Darmane. Just like Lodare, Darmane is well known for their mining as well. As Ridaa and I ventured into a cave below Cor Cliff, We came across a certain people who’ve never been known to still be alive. They were, to her knowledge, extinct, and nothing but remnants remained of their presence.

    Among many of the quests we performed and completed for many kingdoms, we were glad to retire and make humble homes. Ridaa left for her home province, Kivor, and I returned here, to Ormeadow.


    Attached Files:

    John Calligan and Sir Douglas like this.
  2. DeeDee

    DeeDee Contributor Contributor

    Jan 16, 2018
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    Why is the prologue needed?
  3. Sir Douglas

    Sir Douglas Member

    Oct 24, 2017
    Likes Received:
    United States of America
    I would make it less descriptive and narrative. I believe prologues should read as stories with character action and dialog. We consider them prologues because their plots function as tangents to the main plot. In a sense, they are dependent short stories to independent novels. Begin with: "I was young..."
  4. MackenzieGirl

    MackenzieGirl Banned

    Jun 13, 2018
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    In my opinion, a story and most importantly the prologue should start with a BANG! My MC falls of a horse in the first 3 or 4 chapters. And in a another story the MC is kidnapping in the first 500 words! My idea would be to make it less of a narrative, and start with some action.

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