@GuardianWynn, there's a combination of things here that are starting to ring a bell. - Black and white thinking. - Attaching moral judgements to matters of opinion. - Attaching personality judgements to matters of opinion. - Severe self-criticism. - An issue with degrees of importance. I'm remembering a story about someone who had trouble distinguishing, in terms of "level of badness", between (1) running a read light and (2) murdering someone. What is your tolerance for my going amateur psychologist here?
Everything, like always or never calls about an absolute. Absolute is a black/white view. Saying there are ONLY shades of grey is by extension a black/white view?
I'm wanting to point you to a specific psychological thing, but by doing so I'm essentially doing an amateur diagnosis of you. I don't want to do that without asking, because it's getting personal. I'm perfectly happy to branch back out and discuss the art issue instead.
I am happy to see the discussion go where ever it may. Once upon a time I dreamed of being a psychologist, I had planned to go to school for it, but had such a blindingly happy time writing in the summer before I would start that... I joined this forum and gave up even thinking about psychology.
This a view I can accept. I made a catch phrase just to it actually. Which goes. "Always never works, Never always fails, But, Sometime works most of the time."
For my train of thinking only the theoritical really needs to be said. Which as I said. All things being possible. Well All is not a subtle word. It is everything all, nothing excluded. But the idea that something is impossible is as such an idea that fits into the word all. Which innately breaks it. It can't be both. You can't have an impossibility and nothing is impossible. They are contridictions. In my expirence the phrase "nothing is imposible" is meant to inspire hope, but it can be a false hope. I could say for example. "I think, currently it is impossible for me to reach the moon within the next ten seconds." Which I think is a fair example. Even if the technology to transport me to the moon in ten seconds could exist(which I doubt) it certainly doesn't currently exist making my sentence correct. By extension invalidating the previous claim of nothing being impossible. To quote Sherlock. "An exemption breaks the rule."
Then I'd suggest that you read about Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. (It's not the same as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; it's unfortunate that the name is so similar.) I didn't think of it immediately, because you're NICE, and OCPD is very often associated with harshly raging at others. But the raging doesn't have to be part of it. You can still be nice and be tormented with the issues associated with OCPD. My understanding is that an ability to deal with gray areas is fostered by a supportive childhood environment, with caregivers who can reassure and guide a child through error, who can communicate, "You did wrong there, but you're still a good, smart, valuable person. Let's work out what went wrong, and keep trying." I see in you a belief that if you're wrong, based on some absolute standard, you're bad. That's false in two ways--there is no absolute standard in most cases, and in most cases being wrong doesn't make you bad. I think that it would be very valuable, both as a person and as an artist, to learn to embrace gray areas and self-forgiveness. I wouldn't really suggest the forums about OCPD, because they tend to be about the OCPD sufferers that are raging and abusive and can't forgive others, and that definitely doesn't seem to be your issue. But I would read the description and attributes.
Sure. It's currently impossible for you to do that. But the "currently", to my mind, is where the grey comes in.
If it were impossible, flat out, it would be black. But it's not impossible, flat out. It's just impossible right now. At some point in the future, it might be possible. It might be possible in alternate realities, or with a different understanding of what it means to "reach the moon" or with a different (quantum physics?) understanding of "ten seconds". So, it's definitely a charcoal grey. But, no, to me, it's not black.
Thanks. I suppose I cannot argue, that the character of a man is not so easily definable. My big bad of my fantasy is the best prime example. He killed well a number higher than I can count. Over thousands of years, countless planets died by his hand. Yet, I always felt sympathy for him. His desire was to be good and his delulision led him to believe his actions were good. From a side view it is easy to see he wasn't in fact good. Which is why I feel for him. I imagine it must suck to try so hard towards somethint to only be wrong. I guess I don't have to imagine, I got my own form of delilusion going on?
Okay, how about immortlity? How is that form one that won't happen? Personally, the point is I find it much more likely that there does in fact exist something that not only cannot happen, but will never happen. Which would be a flat black would it not?
Well, and there's also the possibility that we're all really just characters in a video game, or that I'm the only sentient being in the universe and the rest of this is a hallucination. Those are wildly, wildly unlikely, and I don't actually believe in them; I choose to assume that the reality in front of me is really real. ButI still don't believe in utter absolutes.
No. As soon as you're looking at "much more likely" you're looking at grey. And immortality, obviously, has all the figurative meanings (Shakespeare's immortal genius, etc.) but also, according to something I read fairly recently, is not too far beyond our current scientific knowledge. Possible within a generation, according to this fairly well-researched author. So we're back to the currently impossible issue. And, of course, in addition to @ChickenFreak's video game option, there are the "infinite universes" theories - if the universe is infinite, as it apparently is (infinity blows my mind and makes me want to hide under my bed) then by the very definition of infinite, everything is possible. Or maybe by the definition of infinite, everything is? Yikes. I don't know--that's why I hate infinity!
Have you read Heinlein's The Number Of The Beast? The premise is that if there are an infinite number of universes, then every fictional work exists in some universe, and so you could in theory travel to any novel, movie, etc., that ever existed. Of course, this doesn't address the question of the laws of physics and how universes with magic came about, but it's fun, though it petered out so unsatisfyingly toward the end that I don't actually remember the ending.
I know this is a common idea people have, but I can actually prove I am an omnipotent creator. I can even show this on the forum, here. To prove this: ChickenFreak, write out a compound sentence.
