Just wait until you hear about your friends sending their kids off to college. (And sometimes the thought sneaks into my head -- hey, I remember what you were doing in college...") And a couple times we've met people who are *younger* than us who are grandparents. Meanwhile, we have a 9 and a 4 year old.
Occasionally I suffer of butt-envy in addition to boob-envy, but being happily married to an exceedingly hot guy who's fine with my relative lack of both assets makes such concerns rather few and far between. But as a teenager, somehow no matter which way you were, someone was telling you it's not good enough. I had a very curvy friend, and she was teased for that. I had an extremely skinny friend, and she was teased for that. I had a curvy friend with acne, potato nose, and frizzy hair who could kick everyone's ass so she was teased way less. Now all three have quite identical white picket fence lives with kids. Funny how life does that to you. Yeah, there's always prejudice, and yes, it's often subtler, but nowadays I care far less about others' opinions than I did as a teen. But as a kid you are so afraid of being left alone and friendless that you often cave in under peer pressure and assimilate, which is pretty stressful when you don't fit the mould as yourself. I heard treating it and maintaining the treatment can be quite tricky and exhaustive, and stress can often cause a comeback. I'm glad I dodged that teenage nightmare. On the other hand, nowadays guys with acne scars become sex symbols (like Tuomas Holopainen among goth/metalhead girls) and women with acne, like Cameron Diaz, make it as models and actresses, so at least it's not like leprosy.
I most certainly think it does count! Youth without being plagued by the restriction of The Definitions.* * The Definitions: That period of time between about 14 and 25 when defining who we think we are/will be and what we hold important becomes a central focus in our lives. The initial phase of this period is called Angst, followed by Proselytization, followed by Riotousness. Then comes the decade of Stupidity followed by the decade of Reflection followed (hopefully) by the decade of Initial Knowledge.
It should be noted that these are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Some of us are quite capable of having decades of Reflection and Initial Knowledge overshadowed by whole lifetimes of Stupidity.
All's well that ends well, I guess. I can't help but notice that almost all of the girls that were being teased in school later turn out to be really hot. I had a female friend that used to be a bunch of twigs stuck together with super glue. Now she's fit to be a model. Life is funny for sure. Gah, the white picket fence... To me, it symbolizes everything that is mediocre in life, like Bill from accounting. God I hate that guy. Bitter Sweet Symphony comes to mind when I hear you say that. Or Brad Pitt. Like the old saying goes... something about life and lemons. Not quite sure.
Hey! Some of us are Bill from accounting! (Come to think of it, "Bill" is a great name for a guy from accounting ...)
Well, we sure are off to a flying start, aren't we? I take nothing back! Ode to Mediocrity I see a white picket fence, I see it twice; it makes no sense. Why do you exist? Just make me pissed! Your arrogance is simply astounding. You stupid waste of paint and wood! Light a match, burn you is what I should! And on your stakes, They will ache, The countless Bills from accounting.
A picket fence dressed in white paint Said, "Mediocre? That's what I ain't! And I'd rather stoop To eating cat poop Than to answering Dean Stride's complaint! Let me introduce you now to Bill From lowly Accounting, but still, Don't sell him short His financial report And bottom-line'll give you a thrill!"
What is that noise? I’m hardly poised. Oh, no! It’s him! The very integral of grim! He scurries all day, And at the end of his pay, He is nothing but fodder to men. Expendable, plain, And quite frankly - lame, I see naught but a das manning trend. A life of reports, A life oh so short! Dark, gray ink, Filled to the brink With unfulfilled dreams, constantly hounding Our most trusted friend, Bill from accounting. OCC: Due to an internal server error, I couldn't amend my previous piece. It should be "Anti-Ode to Mediocrity", and "Just to make me pissed!"
Aspirations I see a kid only just nineteen Tap tap tappin’ behind his screen “Mediocrity,” he says, “it aint for me. I’ll have a big boat, two blondes, maybe three. And if that don’t work out, I’ll get a shack by the sea Become the next Thoreau by 2,033 Or I’ll probe the secrets of the galaxy If I could just ace tomorrow’s test in astronomy Wait, is that mom calling from the kitchen, with cookies and tea? I think it’s time to go watch some more TV!”
Lol, epic poem face-off! (or were those intended to be spoken rhytmically to a beatbox beat?) Edit. in all seriousness, I definitely won't be having a white picket fence either. It will be BLACK.
In Defense of Modern Youth That’s what they see, the generations of old - A boy in his teens, with dreams that don’t hold. They lump the masses, But they need glasses, To glance through the prejudice cold. I may be a kid, But I’m the tomorrow, I’m filled with ideals, I fly like a sparrow! You can sit there, on your front porch at dawn, Yelling at children, “Get off my lawn!” But when you’re gone, There will be none But the offspring of life that is won.
Oh, I'm not done, yet. 123456789 may have had the upper hand temporarily, but I don't falter so easily. I agree, definitely go with black.
Ah, the young with their youthful ambitions Try all philosophical positions But for all that they rant It's plain that they can't Control their nocturnal emissions They should listen to we who are older Though they think we all just sit and moulder We no longer blaze Like our hell-raising days But that doesn't mean we don't smolder!
Roses are red Violets are blue I'm getting older and so are you Out with the old in with the new It's all been said But what would Nanook do? When times were rough and resources few The old were spared 'cause they knew what to do You want them gone to bid the world adieu When you're their age kids are coming for you
Age is No Guarantee for Efficiency There is something held true for each generation, For every peoples and for every nation - That the young are reckless and they lack the experience, The old are the leaders with self-proclaimed brilliance. But let me tell you a story I know One that dams this prejudiced flow: A herd of deer went on their way, Led by the eldest of all. All followed suit, they could not sway, For the eldest amongst them stood tall. None questioned his wisdom As he knew this forest well, None but a fawn that longed freedom, His spirit - nothing could quell. He opposed the elder; he disobeyed, And went ahead of the pack Though he went along, he did not stray From the age-old familiar path Suddenly there was a rustle! He heard footsteps approach. Not far from here, our little deer Witnessed hunters that poached. A trap was set, right on the dirt, Our little friend could not believe. He worried his friends might get hurt And dashed with incredible speed. Panting and flailing, he reached just in time, Before them he dropped and pleaded. Yet the eldest just scoffed, his judgment sublime, He ruffled his hoof and the plea went unheeded. This wise king of all banished the fawn, “Never come back!” he gave him a yell. They went on their stroll, no time to stall, They took a step further - and they fell. The youngling went by when he heard the cry Of his fellow woe-stricken mates. His heart filled with sadness, they were to die, This was all madness; ill-conceived fates. The hunters were close; all hope was lost, Though the eldest had something to say: “Listen, and make of it the most, Death is coming our way. “I’ve walked this path with you by my side For as long as you can remember. “You were my purpose, you were my stride, You were my frivolous ember! “But I fear with the years My heart filled with pride, “As my hooves brought cheers And my knowledge went wide. “Heed my last words, my poor little friend - Age is not wisdom, Value freedom, until the end.”
For ages we've had this river to crossMany have tried and that many were lost Then one day, the youngest of threeSaid, hey oldtimers how hard can it be Take a large rock and give it a tossDo it ten times and the river you cross We've tried it that way again and againThe waters will rise and wash you right in Out of my way you're old and uselessI'll ford this river before I'm tired and toothless He threw in a boulder and tossed in nine moreThe waters got him before he made it to four The elders looked on and collectively sighedHe was so young and so bold he shouldn't have died The next morning there was a note on a treechop me down and cross over on me No one knows who took us across the riverAge is not wisdom, but experience, the giver
