Are these sentences correct?

Are these sentences punctuated correctly?


Knees bent, shoulders back, and a glittering sword held high; the man known as ‘The Ghost Killer’ landed before him.

It swung, and slashed, and jabbed dramatically; illustrating it's master's mortal decree.

Thanks.

 

Replace the semicolons with commas. And in the second sentence, it's "its" and not "it's". (And, though it isn't a grammar issue, try to rephrase "illustrating its master's mortal decree". That's a bit over the top.)

 

I'd usually say get rid of the comma before the 'and', but if you're wanting an extra pause for dramatic effect then it works fine. Agree with all of what minstrel says as well.

 

i thought the semicolons were correct

 

So did i actually.

 

No, the semicolons should be commas.

 

The semi-colons are incorrect. Both sides of a semi-colon (unless you're using it in a list) should be able to function as independent sentences. "Knees bent, shoulders back, and a glittering sword held high" obviously does not.

Also if you're going with the polysyndeton (repeating the "and"), I'd advise against using the comma. That's aesthetic, though.

Also, aesthetically speaking, "dramatically" is a rather weak adverb.

 

I agree with all the advice given. I do have a question. Why are you calling a man "it"?
Or is it the ghost you are referring to? If so, then why call it a "him" prior to that?

 

My interpretation of that line is that the writer is referring to a sword or other weapon.

 

LOL! OK. That explains it then. Thanks.

 

Why? They're decidedly non-standard there.

 

Nope; I love and adore semicolons, and find it sad that Americans rarely use them, and I agree that in those sentences they're incorrect.

ChickenFreak

 

Shouldn't it be, "It swung, slashed and jabbed drammatiacally," Or is that just my imagination?