I have a teen semi-aristocratic* Duchess speaking, so I am asking is this "proper" in form and etiquette to say it this way: "You could have awoken me." My fully aristocratic character said this early in the story: “Maybe you should ride in back?” Lord Gotfrid suggests, “I would be very upset if you were to disgorge near me.” *Semi-aristocratic meaning she is a teen brought up to speak proper but sometimes doesn't act of speak perfectly. ---------- Post added at 08:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 AM ---------- Daily Writing tips offered this. So I guess either is correct, so which sounds better(more aristocratic/"proper")? You could have awoken me --vs-- You could awakened me.
I understand that you are wanting to use formal/archaic English, but I am old and English enough (and studied enough original documents and old books) to realise that no duchess has ever spoken like this. I also come from what used to be known as a Sloane ranger background, so I've heard duchess-speak in the flesh, as it were. 'In back' is also a typically modern American expression. Old English would use 'at the back'. 'Disgorge' means 'vomit'. She would say something like 'You might have woken me' 'Why did you not awaken me?' or 'You could/should have woken me up'. Also, you may like to consider that even though you are writing something set in past times, it is not necessary to clog up the dialogue with too much old fashioned English. I've been warned about this myself, since I write mostly historicals. We don't want to sound like The Scarlet Pimpernel all the time.
'could have awakened' is proper grammar [without the 'ed' it's not] and better choice than 'awoken' as it reads better... 'disgorge' makes no sense to me, if you want it to refer to speech, as when read, it seems to mean she may vomit...
So awakened sounds better. I felt like they both worked, but was looking for the better. Strange no one supported the strong word, and chose the passive instead. But I do believe awakened is what most people might say. Disgorge does mean to vomit, he said it to a young man that drank to much the night before.
Why do you think it reads better? I prefer "awoken", and I can't find any reference that prefers "awakened" (all the references I can find say they are interchangeable). It has plenty of other meanings, although in that context "vomit" makes perfect sense. I doubt Lord Gotfrid would want her vomiting near him.
Digitig: Awakened- I found that too, I think what she was saying was awaken was not right.(without the"ed") Maybe it's country difference? Since you are from England. Like I said, they seem interchangable to me too, but which sounded better for this character. Disgorge- Doesn't it mean to empty also? I also could not picture a Lord saying puke or vomit, so I looked for a more eligant word.
The choice is between "awoken" or "awakened", and it seems to be purely a matter of personal preference. Yes, "awaken" was wrong. ---------- Post added at 08:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:54 PM ---------- No, "You could have awoken me" --vs-- "You could have awakened me". "You could awakened me" makes no sense. ---------- Post added at 08:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:56 PM ---------- Nobody has chosen a passive. Nobody has offered a passive! It takes more that a "have" to make a passive, you know.
[QUOTE I could never for the life of me get my 'ed's' correct, which is why I started the sentence with "Maybe I'm wrong..." My wife is always on my case about that. Thanks!
I would certainly go with, ''You could have awakened me.'' I have read extensively and widely (as I am sure others have) and it simple sounds 'right' to my ears.
