Pringles in a can and ruffles deep with ridges! Pomme de terre in the air, dangling from the trees. When they're ready, mash them down, or fry them if you please. Chips-n-fish, a lovely dish; the Brits will love you well. A sovereign they do make of thee; they crown you for a spell. But alas, as times do pass, and fickle times do follow. You were dethroned, your head bemoaned, from the basket, sad and hollow. I wish six-packs (the muscle kind, not the cans) were ever without need of maintenance.
FINGFANGFOO!!!! You now have a six pack which never needs maintenance. However any excess weight that would have been on your stomach locates itself in your moobs instead. And that's not a good look. I wish my wife would learn to like spicy food.
HIPPOPOTPUSSUM! You wife now loved spicy food! Always, all the time... Ghost peppers, habinero's, dried aged Chile Arbol, basically, all the hottest peppers in the world... all together, all the time, always. Say hello to endless mouth sores and gastro-intestinal disturbance! I wish that life had slowmotion and fastforward buttons.
HUFFAPUFFALUS! Your buttons are created. And given to your worst enemy. Your *ahem* love life whizzes by and every ache and pain lasts a thousand years (in your perception). I wish this wish was wished by someone else.
And down the rabbit hole we go! Sybil, Sybil, dribble, dribble; one, two, three and four. How many folks behind those eyes? A hundred, maybe more. The wish was made by the Club, not the Spade, no, the Joker in your hand. Heard the Red Queen beckon; best go, I reckon. She's not one to understand. I wish that my poem is understood to mean that the prior poster is now insane.
PUFF! The magic dragon! Huffapuffa-NO NO NO! Help, help, I got the ray-bees in my bonnet! I wish I was no longer in Spain.
POOKAWOOKA!!!! You now find that you have rain falling on a plain, but your life feels strangely incomplete now that you're not in Spain. I wish that there was a really nice furry pet without all the eat-sleep-poop rigmarole.
TRIBBLEEESSSSSSSESSS!!!!! You have the perfect pet! A single, fluffy, docile, tribble. At least, thats what you think! It doesn't eat-sleep-or poop! But, it does reproduce at an alarming rate! I wish that I had a jet pack!
PHONDOMTIEN!!!! You have a jet pack. Unfortunately you've received it when you actually bid on and won a car on ebay, and the seller who sold it to you is now NARU. I wish for three more wishes.
Zapo! You have three brand new wishes. But, as per wish regulations, you are jailed for attempting to defraud jennies, leprechauns, and Chinese dragons. I wish I lived in a five-star spa-resort-restaurant-library at the top of mount Everest (climate controlled of course).
Woosh! You now love in a five-star spa-resort-restauant-library at the top of Mount Everest but unfortunately there is no electricity reaching up there to supply it. I wish I could marry Johnny Depp!
Poof! You now can marry Johnny Depp. Unfortunately, this is because he's a flesh eating zombie. I wish I was omnipotent.
ROOTYTOOTYFRUITY! You are now a god! Unfortunatley for you, being a god comes with a long list of inconvenient relatives who wish to kill you, usually your children. Prepare for an existence of constantly fighting for the throne of the universe with a bunch of angst demigods. I wish that nothing bad would ever happen.
(Umm, unlimited power means I'm not too worried. ) Poof! However, life becomes boring, as it's without conflict, and soon, everyone commits suicide by being literally bored to death. I wish everyone on Earth simultaneously hated Jersey Shore.
SHIMMYSHIMMYSHAKESHAKE!!! Congratulations! There is no ill effect to be gained from this, other than the murders of the entire cast of the show. Jersey Shore is hated, canceled, and killed... literally. I wish for an perfectly athletic build that requires no effort.
Congratulations! Unfortunately, you got this from a biology experiment that turned you into a serial killer whose eventually killed himself. I wish that rock music increased the physical strength of anyone listening.
ZINGZONGFOO!!!!! Rock music now increases the physical strength of anyone listening. Unfortunately, you are sent the bill for rebuilding every music stage in the world after they are smashed to bits by headbangers. I wish that all students had excellent study skills.
FEE FII FOO FUUMM! All students became super students, with eidetic memory and excellent student skills - reading, presenting, athletics, etc. However, because of their great power teachers slowly became obsolete; the students can go through graduate school simply by self-study. They are essentially their own teachers, instructors and professors. Millions of people lost their jobs, and the economy was greatly affected by the sudden surge of unemployment. I wish that starships were meant to fly.
TING!!!! Starships are meant to fly. But it's Niki Minaj's single 'Starships' that start flying. And now everywhere you go, you have to watch out for low flying CDs. I wish that I could play bass like Bootsy Collins.
Poof! You are the Ace of Base; no one can place you in with the sophomoric. You pluck those strings, you stroke that neck; the sounds, they are euphoric. From club to club, from band to band, your name is well renowned. All the Faces at all the Places; champagne glasses do go round. But we all know how the story goes, a deal struck with Old Scratch. Before you've had your fill of fame, your soul he comes to snatch. I wish I could sleep well without the need for chemical help.
Shabam! You can now sleep without chemical aid. Loss of one person's sleep prescription was enough to cancel manufacturing of the drug and now there are several biochemists with cut wages who can no longer afford to feed their families, so they must move to smaller homes and endure depressing lives. I wish building muscle was as easy as breathing.
poof! You build so much muscle you can't move! Not only is it seriously inconvenient, it's also seriously ugly. I wish people could only die peacefully. Never violently or in pain.
Woosh! You now either die in your sleep or when someone stabs you with a fatal-yet-non-pain-inducing needle. The chances of either happening are so remote that almost everyone lives to age 100. The world is now overpopulated with useless old people and the economy revolves around the selling of retirement homes, canes and fake teeth. I wish food would automatically dispense in my mouth without me having to cook anything.
Food automatically dispenses into your mouth, but you discovered that they were always raw! Some foods were meant be cooked...eventually you died of an abdominal disease. My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to~
Poof! Zeppelins race and spaceships trace bold patterns in the sky. Steampunk hiss and electro-kiss of robots that fool the eye. Replicators make steak-N-taters and deserts to delight the palate. Every vote is on equal merit with others who cast their ballot. A future free of labels and names to keep us one from another. Black, white, gay, str8, Eastern, Western, everyone a sister and brother. I wish I could shape shift into other animals while always retaining my human intellect.
