1. BonanzaFan2011

    BonanzaFan2011 New Member

    Mar 22, 2011
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    Being Descriptive

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by BonanzaFan2011, Jun 20, 2011.

    Hey guys,
    I'm trying to describe in my story how one would look after someone had been crying. Here's what I have so far.

    Finally alone in the livery stable the Reverend's heart goes out to Joe as he hears him quietly crying covering his face into Cochise. Cochise senses someone nearby and whinnies and nudges Joe who makes no attempt to stop. Joe puts his arm around Cochise's neck needing support right now and Cochise gently nudges Joe back.

    "Joseph?" the Reverend gently calls out to him.
    Joe doesn't respond.
    "Joe? Please? I am so, so deeply sorry."The Reverend desperately trying to reach the boy and hopefully able to repair what damage has already been done.

    Lifting his head slowly, Joe quickly wipes his eyes before he turns around to face the Reverend. Seeing Joe's ???? stuck.

    Any thoughts people ? Would really appreciate it. Also are there any sites that has descriptive words or sentences etc?
    Thanks for the help.
  2. darkhaloangel

    darkhaloangel Active Member

    May 27, 2011
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    Why don't you google a picture of a person crying - or what someone crying on youtube (in a non creepy way) and describe what you see. Perhaps if you have trouble describing, make emotion maps for different emotions with scenes you remember watching or reading - lists of words that work well together, get the thesaurus out etc. And get a collection of words in your mind that work well.

    I know you wanted help with the phrasings - but perhaps this method will help you more.
  3. VM80

    VM80 Contributor Contributor

    Nov 16, 2010
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    Think how someone looks after crying - swollen/red eyes, red face maybe, snivelling?

    Just a couple of words to get you started.

    I like the list idea above, I'd give that a go. :)

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