Being forced to cheat?

I just recently came up with a subplot to add into my story, and it's already started to unfold, but I just want to get some advice/opinions on this.
The MC, along with his former friends, are targeted by an unknown person who is spreading lies and telling secrets of theirs on social media. This person tells them all to meet them somewhere. Turns out, this unknown person is a girl who they all severely picked on in elementary school. She demands that each of them do something for her or otherwise, even if one of them don't corporate, she'll go back at it with the lies/secrets, which they've all had enough of because these are all people who are the "elites" of the school (minus the MC, but he used to be) (And the MC has several secrets that he doesn't want to get out) This girl wants the MC to make out with her, but he's completely against it because he's in a relationship and wouldn't dream of cheating on his girlfriend. His former friends tell him that if he doesn't do it so that she'll leave them alone, they'll make his life as miserable as she will. In the end, he gives up fighting it and makes out with the girl, though he feels completely awful and disgusted with himself, even though he was forced. He also has extreme guilt for doing this.
So, my question is, do you understand his situation? Would you think badly of him because he still went through with it and made out with the girl when he could've just said no and let them all make his life miserable? Do you think that the girlfriend's response would change how you feel about it at all?

 

Sounds like sexual coercion to me.
If the stuff she has in her hands to harm him is dangerous enough, it's a believable situation.

 

I don't think that would even qualify as cheating. If he didn't want to do it and was manipulated into it against his will, then he isn't at fault.

 

A kiss is just a kiss.

That said he was forced into a kiss which is violating! So sure, in a way I could understand that he'd feel guilty and bad about it... more for himself than the girlfriend.

If he has any trust what so ever in his girlfriend he'd go to her afterwards saying "hey, I feel like throwing up. This chick blackmailed me into kissing her and now I feel like shit" and the girlfriend would first comfort him and then possible kill the other girl for blackmailing her boyfriend. Okay, probably no murder - but you get the point.

I know this is probably teenage drama - but he's the victim here (even if it was just a kiss) and if his girlfriend feels like that is cheating he'd be better off without her.

 

It's a very understandable situation, there are similar stories rocking the teenage world nowadays, social media pressure is very, very strong. I wouldn't think badly of him because teens aren't made of steel. The situation is believable. Not everybody is a hero. But here is where the author comes into play. You are in charge. You can make the characters do whatever you want and you can try to make your readers think whatever you want them to think. If you want the girlfriend's response to change how your readers feel about that character, you should try write it that way. Writers are manipulating the readers all the time. Just think about that guy who made us all fall in love with a cannibal, fava beans and chianti!

 

I’m not really sure what you’d call that, but it sounds kind of like some version of sexual assault.

If someone coerces you into doing sexual stuff with them, that isn’t cheating. He is the victim in that scenario.

 

Just my opinion natch but this scenario doesn't ring true to me. This guy picked on her and she hates him enough for it to want to ruin his reputation years later. Yet, she also wants his hands all over her? And this, even knowing the idea turns him off? The revenge of telling his secrets or threatening to, seems self-redeeming from her viewpoint, but this sounds like it's self-degrading. I don't think it goes with her revenge mindset.

But okay, if she did want something along those lines, I'd think she'd want a public date with him instead of a private, one time makeout session. And to take pics, so the people he'd put her down in front of could see that she was deemed worthy of him (and by extension, by all of them, not an outcast after all).

Anyway, while anything could happen, as a reader I'd probably be shaking my head and thinking, nah, not really.

 

That's pretty textbook for how people who've been sexually assaulted feel, actually - 'making out' is a quite mild thing to refer to as assault, obviously, but you see what I mean. He's been blackmailed into doing something quasi-sexual that he didn't want to do. I'd feel uncomfortable for him, not blame him.

It'd change how I feel about the girlfriend, potentially, but not the situation itself.

Anyway, the situation makes sense as a chain of events. I get his logic of choosing the brief unwanted, unpleasant thing over the make-your-life-miserable threat.

 

It depends on how bad his secrets are to me. If he just doesn't want some embarrassing thing to get out then I don't really feel for him. If he's done some terrible/criminal stuff then I can sympathize.

 

I think there's always a chance to be better than you were yesterday. Allowing someone to control you is not one. Instead of your MC facing his mistakes, he would only be making a new one to cover up the old. The girls actions are bad, but going along with it would (I think) make the MC seem selfish and willing to do anything. What if the girl decides that once wasn't enough?
Eventually secrets/mistakes come out. And it's how you face them that shows true character.

 

This plays out like more petty high school drama then it does a situation that would cause actual tension. It's nonsense. We fear truth more than lies. The reason why Pretty Little Liars worked out so well in building tension is because the character that is tormenting them was because what she said wasn't lies. The suspense was built around the unknown. They had no idea what this character knew and based on who they thought A was, they had to assume she knew everything. That creates tension.

Unfortunately, she's just not a logical threat. How would this girl even know his secrets? Last time I checked, you don't tell the girl you're picking on any of the details of your life and nor do you friends tell said girl. None of the people who picked on me ever did that. It would have been nice if they did. And her threat, "You don't do what I want, and I'll start telling lies again. Waaaaaaaa!" I'd say, "Fine. I'll tell them about that time you started your period right in the classroom while wearing white pants. Or how you made snorting noises every time you laughed." Once they say, "Yeah, that was spread by that weirdo girl. Remember her? In fifth grade? Yeah, she was pretty weird." Suddenly, the conversation is on her.

 

I'm with the others - this doesn't count as cheating in my book.

I've been sexually assaulted (as have the majority of women) and well understand the irrational feeling of shame, but in this situation I wouldn't be ashamed. I would be pissed off. I would feel violated if someone forced me to touch them intimately or did the same to me, but a kiss? No. I would think she was a disgusting POS and probably be grossed out, but not ashamed.

 

I'm with those who say it's sexual assault and I wouldn't think less of a character because he'd been sexually assaulted.

I would think less of him, probably, if he didn't tell his girlfriend about it. Or I guess I'd think less of their relationship, maybe? Like I'd think there was a weakness if he didn't think he could afford to be honest with her and couldn't trust that she'd respond with compassion.

And the bad stuff the blackmailer was holding over him would have to be pretty bad... but also not so bad that I feel like he's scuzzy for having done whatever it is he's being blackmailed over...

 

I'm a person that would get very pissed off if my partner kissed someone else consensually, but I'm also highly monogamous and I also don't like the idea of someone else's germs being introduced into the relationship. As a result, I don't agree "a kiss is just a kiss" particularly since I know human biology and what kisses can trigger.

That being said, there's a huge difference between a consensual kiss and being forced to kiss someone. This case is sexual coercion and I wouldn't classify it as cheating (unlike if he had willing partook in the kiss). He was assaulted and I would feel sympathy for him. If his girlfriend considered it cheating then I would feel even worse for him and he should leave her. Assault is assault; it doesn't matter if it was a kiss, groping, or rape. It also doesn't matter the sex of the person being assaulted.

 

Since this thread got resurrected, and I already finished the manuscript, I’ll add what I ended up doing. I took into account what some of you guys said about the kissing not being that serious and made the whole situation more serious, in my opinion at least. The girl ended up groping the MC while they were making out. That was the part he felt most ashamed of when he finally told his girlfriend.

 

That sounds much more relatable to me

 

I think it makes perfect sense. When people are judging you, they really don't care what or who made you do it. Once they've discovered you did something bad, everything you say to justify it is treated as a lie to save face. I'm not saying people should, but they automatically assume that when you do one bad thing, it means that your a bad person, and therefore everything you say must be a lie.