Benefits from ChildhoodToday not only adults but also children suffer from excessive stress, which has been related to a number of diseases such as depression, heart disease and cancer. Scientists believe that our ability to manage stress is formed in childhood through a combination of delightful and pleasant experiences with parents and grandparents. Moreover, recently the tragic incidents such as kidnapping and chain-murder have cast a shadow of doubt over our children's lives. This pervasive sense of insecurity caused us to re-evaluate what is most important to our lives and our families. We instinctively reach out to our families for comfort. I firmly insist that parents should give children a sense of strength, security and faith. So I'd like to talk about my childhood and then mention two kinds of benefits from my childhood to help our children. The beautiful memories I have of my childhood give me great pleasure and comfort whenever I feel depressed or I want to get refreshed. And I think it is necessary that we provide our children with those warm-hearted feelings and memories to help them to deal with their stressful lives for the future. I had spent about 7 years in the countryside since I was three years old. Those years were enough time to enjoy the wonderful Nature and childhood. My house was surrounded by endless rice fields, a small mountain and a narrow creek. I found many things to play with here and there. The nature was my playgound. In spring, I went out holding the basket with my friends to pick young herbs. In summer, I spent all day in the river, just after breakfast. I rushed to the river and I forgot to eat lunch. And then I could see the smoking chimneys from a distance. That was the sign for time to go back home. When winter came, it was my world. On snowy days, I climbed the mountain with a sled. Another thing to enjoy in winter was playing on the ice in the river. I must have been dangerous but we didn't feel insecure. It was exciting and thrilling. From my memories, another precious thing was my grandmother's unconditional love and care. Both of my parents went out for their work so they had less time to take care of me. At that time she was willing to live with us together and took great care of me. Everytime my grandmother stood by me and supported me. I can't forget her big smile with wrinkled hands patting me. Waiting for mom and dad, I used to fall asleep in her arms with her nursery songs. After those times I also had many memories of traveling to her house or of her coming to our house, cooking special meals and just being together and enjoying each other. First benefit from my childhood was nature itself. In today's high-tech world, most children don't take enough time to enjoy nature. I believe that living in the nature nourishes our children in countless ways. The certainty that each year the snow will melt and make the way for spring and that green leaves of summer will changed into red and brown, provide vital insight to our purposeful life. Second benefit I got was grandmother's unconditional love. More and more children are raised in families where both parents work. Economic pressures make this situation hard to escape. So the world of our children features daycare-center, Nintendo, shopping malls, instant meals, and unkind neighborhoods. They just hope eating dinner together, observing birthday and holidays or reading bedtime stories every night. I think nothing is more important to your family than establishing a good relationship. However if you can't find enough time for them because of your work, ask your parents for help. Grandparents' love can be a valuable supplement to parents' love. So I recommend we should go back to the great tradition which maintains a bond among family members.
Hi Lotusok... After reading about some of your childhood memories and the importance of having a strong bond with grandparents and/or other family members, I couldn't agree with you more. It is so wonderful when a child has different experiences with Nature. So many special memories are created with each encounter. Nowadays, children are occupied with video games, television, computers, etc. and all at the expense of expressing themselves through beautiful, innocent imagination and creativity. When I was a child growing up in Los Angeles, my younger brother and I along with my cousin spent many days roaming the streets of Hollywood after school. It was a different world back then. Sometimes, we went to the movies. (We must have seen Billy Jack at least 20 times... LOL!) Other times, we ventured into all the novelty shops and souvenir stores, looking for all the newest gags or magic tricks the stores ordered each week. Some days, we would each buy a hot dog and a soft drink and sit down on the Hall Of Fame sidewalk (usually in front of the Chinese Theater) and watch all the people walking by, taking pictures of the different gold stars with celebrity names printed on them. Once, while we were wandering up and down Hollywood Blvd, we saw a very unusual looking man standing on the sidewalk, looking over at us. We were fascinated by him! He was average height with a slightly stocky build. He had blue eyes, a thick white beard, bushy white eyebrows and skin that looked like leather. He was wearing suede beige colored pants with fringes, a matching jacket, an old light brown western style shirt, well-worn, dusty boots and a suede cowboy hat. He was smoking a handcarved wooden pipe which he kept on the side of his mouth. He smiled at us and nodded his head as a greeting. My cousin, brother and I decided to go talk to him so we walked over to him and said hello. He took the pipe out of his mouth, tilted his hat towards us and said, "Hi there, young fellas! Pleased as punch to meet ya!" He shook our hands and told us his name. "I'm Wild Bill Hickock. But my friends call me Wild Bill." We looked at him in amazement as we had never seen anyone like him before except maybe in the movies. We told him our names and asked what he was doing in Hollywood. He said he told stories about the Old West and was famous for being able to make any animal sounds. We asked him to make the sound of a cow, so he cleared his throat and made such a convincing and realistic sound of a cow mooing that we were spellbound! We asked him to perform imitations of so many different animals that the poor man's voice started going hoarse. LOL! We thanked him for talking to us and making all those wonderful sounds. We ran into him from time to time as we walked around Hollywood Blvd and he always had a fascinating story to tell or a new animal sound to make for us. Just before I moved away from home at 18 years of age, I was driving down Hollywood Blvd and to my utter shock and surprise, I saw a man dressed in suede with a cowboy hat and white beard, and yes, a pipe sticking out of the side of his mouth. I pulled my car over to the curb and parked it. I then got out of my car and walked over to this familiar looking man. It was indeed Wild Bill !! I could not believe he would still be there after all these years. We spoke for a few minutes and I told him how much we looked forward to seeing him each time we walked through Hollywood when I was a child. There was a twinkle in his eyes and that same gruff sounding voice boomed with laughter as he heard about all the conversations my brother, cousin and I used to have about him and his wonderful stories. Before I left, he told me one more story for old times sake. As I listened to him, it brought back many special memories and it felt like I was a kid again. Listening to him tell his stories, I closed my eyes and could still picture the small town he came from, the smell of sawdust and leather, the sound of horses walking down a dusty trail, the old piano music coming from the tavern, and the view of the sunset from atop the saddle on his horse. It was a magical experience which I will never forget. When we moved away from Hollywood and into a less populated city, we had more exposure to Nature. I remember when my younger brother and I used to lay on the grass in the back yard, looking at the fluffy white clouds floating across the blue sky. We would study the clouds and tell each other of the different animals or creatures we saw in the cloud formations. We used to chase and catch butterflies and fireflies, putting them in jars. We would have contests to see who caught the most and then set all those poor creatures free. We played hide and seek in the tall grass; slid down long, steep hillsides on pieces of cardboard, imagining that we were riding sleds in the snow; we rode around the neighborhood on our bikes, having races to see who would get to the 'finish line' first. We used to attach old playing cards to our bikes so that when the cards hit the spokes, it sounded like we were riding motorcycles. (Our neighbor, old lady Danforth, used to walk up to her bay window and glare at us whenever we did this... LOL! We must have woken her up from one of her afternoon naps.) Ooooops... sorry Lotusok... I didn't mean to get carried away by writing a book instead of a posting. I really enjoyed reading about your childhood memories. It brought back a few of my memories too... Take care and thank you again for sharing your special memories.. Amadeo
I think it's a shame Childhood is appearing to be destroyed by the pressures of modern life, and the dangers that face children every day. I remember in my first school, we where all scared to say words that are hardly taboo (I attended Ellington First School from 1994 to 1998 I think) 'I think some one was found crying after saying 'poo' once, and now I see children at the same school smoking (I kid you not, smoking at the age of six!) and swearing like no one I hear at my age. I think the children of today are far too corrupted by some force that makes them think being a that turning your back on society and bullying or assaulting people for fun is attractive, or 'Cool.' I know this has been happening for a very very long time, but it seams to be getting worse, and it seams to be getting kids to rebel younger.
Hi Lemex... I know what you mean when you say that you were afraid to say words that are hardly taboo back when you were in school. We would get a pretty good whack upside the head by the nuns if we said anything that could be taken as anything less than polite. When I was in school, the kids were actually afraid of the teacher (nuns and non-nuns alike.) We knew there would be consequences to our actions so we watched our steps as much as possible. That's not to say that we never misbehaved or crossed some lines. But you knew the minute you crossed the line, you paid the penalty according to the seriousness of the transgression. For example, my cousin and I were the same age so we went to the same school and took the same classes. (probably not a good idea considering how we behaved when we were together.) We decided that it would be a good idea to play a quick game of poker during world religions class. We played a few hands surreptitiously while the nun had her back to us. After a while, a few of the other students noticed what we were doing and wanted to join us. So we dealt a few extra hands and tried to be as discreet as possible. However, one of the players accidentally dropped his cards on the floor which, of course, were immediately detected by the keen eyes of dear Sister Mary Lauren who took swift and efficient action to break up our poker game. She confiscated all our cards and said that since we enjoyed playing games so much, we were all invited to stay after school and write a 300 word essay on why poker is considered such an important part of world religions class. Talk about creative writing! We were also required to write a note to our parents, explaining why the detention was necessary and include some suggestions as to what our punishment should be when we arrived home from school. We had to be 100% serious or else we would be facing "special consequences" which would be decided upon by Sister Mary Lauren and the guilty party's parents. We never threatened, assaulted, sued or harassed the teacher or any adult for that matter. We were even 'afraid' of our parents and what they would think of us or do to us. Times have indeed changed. But there is still hope. There are so many things that can be done to change this disturbing trend. Maybe the most important thing we can do to start the ball rolling is to learn to communicate again. Such a simple yet powerful form of action.... Look at all the different thoughts being expressed on just this website and imagine all the lives that are affected or have been affected by what has been written on this wonderful and amazing forum. If it can happen here, it can happen in the life of a child too... Take care, Amadeo
I was born 53 years ago in a small town in southern ont. It was stuck in surrounded by farming industry. It was a very typical small town where just about everyone knew everyone else. My father was a fuller brush salesman so he depended on the area for his income. I had to be on my best behaviour constantly. So I never drew attention to myself if I could help it. There was lots of playing in yards all year long. Hide and seek at night during the summer until the late hour of 10pm. That was the curfew for our 4 block area. So nobody really got to stay out later so there wasn't much of a problem. We were near Lake Erie (one of the great lakes) and my family owned a small cabin cruiser and this was our family day (every sunday) during the summer. We would go to our island with the bay on one side and the lake on the other. The bay was fun with calm water but the lake side was wonderful for letting off steam because it had huge waves to play in. I can't see children of today thinking that playing in the water and on the beach of a desert island would be fun. They seem to need the electronics to do anything. Even my grandson wants the toys but he tolerates his grandparents not having them when he comes for visits. instead we camp in tents, go canoeing and fishing. He loves these things and since we are in a small town we can let him go out into the yard with his sister without fear. Except for bears but bears you can defend against but people are scary. Governments are turning the countries in Nanny states and have taken away the right of parents to raise their children the way we were raised. Some rules I can see but others are so totally wrong they should be abolished. People have made it so you can't say to your child. "go to the park and give me a break." Now you have to accompany your children just to make sure they get home safely. I do not enjoy talking on the phone since it was just not done as much as it is now. My family phone was used for business. My fathers 2 business' and my mothers taxi company. So if we called anyone it was a short conversation. We walked to where ever we had to go. Parents didn't drive unless it was for groceries or out of town. If mom needed something at the store we would walk and get it for her. So we can't go backwards and they were not all the good old days but if we could get some of the front porch sitting chatting with neighbours over the fence it would certainly be a nicer kinder world. People seem to have forgotten how to smile, say hello or even just be polite. Maybe if we started a movement of saying hello to 3 people each day it would spread. Let's let children be children for a far longer time than they are now. Sorry for the preach but children are my life. luv and hugs.
Hi Leesa... I have two grandchildren who are also hooked on electronics. I am happy to see them learning something new and useful using some of the technology available today. But at the same time, I feel that because of their 'addiction' to technology, they are missing out on some amazing experiences and depriving themselves of learning about the world hands on. If they can't see or do something through a computer monitor, then they are not interested. Very sad. Don't get me wrong. I am not against technology, or against children using it as a 'tool' to learn about the wonderful things in different parts of the world. Or using it as a form of communication with other children in different countries so they can appreciate other cultures, ways of life, ideas and experiences. Even playing video games is a good thing to some extent. But there has to be a balance. Children who live their lives in front of a computer are deprived of so many vital experiences and lessons that it would be impossible to name them all here. You said in your post: Reminds me of the recent case of the man who grounded his 12 year old daughter because she posted inappropriate pictures of herself online. He banned her from going on a school trip and from being on the internet as part of her punishment. As a result, the girl took her father to court and the court ruled in her favor! The judge said the punishment was too severe, even though she noted that the girl had repeatedly defied her father. Unbelieveable! I can't even begin to imagine what that judge was thinking when she made that ruling. Even worse, what was the girl's mother thinking in allowing her daughter to pursue this course of action against her father? He was trying to protect her and look after her best interests as any good parent would! Do either of these ladies realize the danger that this girl put herself into by posting 'inappropriate' pictures of herself online? I am shaking my head in amazement! Since when does a responsible adult trust the judgement of a 12 year old in matters like this? You are absolutely right when you say: What a shame that children are forced to grow up so quickly and not being allowed to fully experience some of the most magical moments of their lives. You said: No need to apologize, Leesa... Sometimes, it is necessary and important to be reminded that children are such a priceless treasure. Take care and many blessings to you, Amadeo
It's a generalization thing. Think about it, the way you were when growing up was somewhat different from your parents and very different from your grandparents. Generational changes are inevitable. Maybe the time between changes are decaying but there is no need to bash one generation because of how yours was. I'd probably be outraged at how my children would grow up. And they'd be outraged at how their child would grow up. The phrase "Hooked on electronics" always makes me shiver. It seems as if people from other generations look at this one as if they were but crack addicts with a different drug. (a bit offtopic) It's amazing how in the 'old-days' there didn't seem to be any much crime as it is now. Recently , 4 people in my class, including me, were mugged [not by anyone from school, obviously], 1 with a blade, other took a guy from the neck and asked his friend for money, and the other 2 were just unarmed muggers. I myself was against 3 muggers at the same time, so I had to give up my wallet and cell-phone. We would never dream of being outside after dusk. Friends now don't play hide-and-seek but Halo and CS. To random people? Isn't that a bit too idealistic? I wouldn't mind doing it when I'm out, but what would be the point? I'm sure a few people would answer with the silent "Hey", the freaked-out "Hello?" or the annoyed "What?", but most would only look at you in a funny way, think you are talking to someone else, or just plain ignore it. (a bit off-topic again) I remember a year or two back, my whole class went to the theater for a movie [because of a class assignment], the movie was "Pay it forward" about a movement a kid starts, that people do one 'big' favor to another with the only condition being that they have to do three big favours to another person. I always thought that that was unrealistic human behavior. People would just be thankful for the favor but I don't think most would return it. [back on topic] About phones or electronics, I think they probably said the same thing when they invented books or cars: 1400's when mass printing was invented: Or Sorry for over-extending but I thought that someone had to speak on behalf of the current generation .
Thank you! As an 18 year old male I am obviously a drug dealing, underacheiveing, boy racer who has gotten 3 girls pregnant and been arrested more times than I can count.... But no, someone should stand up for the current generation. Dont get me wrong, no one on this thread seems to be attacking us, so this isn't a rant aimed at you guys, I just thought you might like our perspective. I didn't even know this kind of thing was possible! I agree with Acglaphotis (I had to scroll up and back down about 10 times to make sure I spelt that right!) that generations change, and no two generations will be the same. I think the probelm is some peoples tendancy (again, not anyone here) to blame the kids for the way they are. Like we were all born evil or something. A lot of people seem to forget that as kids we are easily influenced, and vulnerable to picking up al kinds of bad practice. The problem is not the kids themselves, but the world that they are exposed to. I found out during my research for my media studies paper that in fact crime has fallen steadily sinc ethe 80's- I know that's not quite the olden days, but still, it's actually falling, rather than rising apparently, as everyone seems to think. I know I'm slightly to old to say this- but that sounds awesome! I think that people try and take the easy way out by just going 'Oh it's just the kids are all bad these days' rather than thinking 'well surely they aren't all bad, what's happened to make them this way?' But everyone on here has been perfectly fair and I agree that some of the things you guys are missing, like nature are very important. I grew up in a small hamlet five miles away from the nearest town, from between the ages of 3- 17, and I spent most of my time playing in feilds, climbing trees- al your typical boy activities. And it was brilliant, and I do miss it a lot.
" Quote: People seem to have forgotten how to smile, say hello or even just be polite. Maybe if we started a movement of saying hello to 3 people each day it would spread. To random people? Isn't that a bit too idealistic? I wouldn't mind doing it when I'm out, but what would be the point? I'm sure a few people would answer with the silent "Hey", the freaked-out "Hello?" or the annoyed "What?", but most would only look at you in a funny way, think you are talking to someone else, or just plain ignore it. (a bit off-topic again) I remember a year or two back, my whole class went to the theater for a movie [because of a class assignment], the movie was "Pay it forward" about a movement a kid starts, that people do one 'big' favor to another with the only condition being that they have to do three big favours to another person. I always thought that that was unrealistic human behavior. People would just be thankful for the favor but I don't think most would return it." Saying hello. when we moved to this town 23 years ago I knew absolutely nobody. So on one of my lonely excursions to get groceries an elderly woman was walking into the grocery store. I held the door open for her and said hello. She said hello back and now whenever I see her we chat for a couple of minutes and she once told me that I was the sweetest person to talk to. I can never remember her name but the smile she gives me is priceless. There is no harm in saying hello or just smiling. People tend to pass it on. My husband and I have always paid it forward. And we hear back that people we have helped around town do pay it forward as well. We pick up hitch hikers and do them some small favour and tell tell them to pay it forward. Even if they don't it doesn't matter since we did our part. I happen to be one adult who never lumps people into a generalized statement. The teens who knew me here in town said I was one of the few who didn't seem scared of them, either because of language, or dress style. It could have been that my son's were rather large and intimidating looking but it wasn't. I treated them with respect until they did something that didn't deserve it and then let them know why. Electronics are wonderful tools, but for too many families they are becoming the baby sitters. TV was the same in my childhood. Some parents turned on TV and left the room to get things done. But the difference was TV was not interactive. Parents turned it on and nothing of any information about your private life ever left via the tv. With the internet, and chat rooms too much dangerous stuff can be passed on through a few mouse taps. That is why family time should involve being at the computer with your children. At least that way you would be warned if something not quite as innocent as it appears is going on and then work at putting a stop to it. My children were brought up with computers, and tech stuff but it was always balanced in favour of the canoeing, fishing, camping and hunting. They learned to appreciate the great outdoors and even now that they are not living anywhere near us they still come home to go camping and fishing and their children are being raised the same way to a lesser extent. If you keep a balance in your life styles you can make it work for the benefit of the next generation. It is when you stick to one way constantly that you spoil the fun of childhood and to the balance that everyone needs. Don't expect miracles just work on one thing at a time and take time to enjoy the success'.
Hi Acglaphotis... You've made a few points in your post that are very interesting. Here are my thoughts about some of the observations you have made: I agree with you on things changing from generation to generation, and as you pointed out, these changes are inevitable. It is unrealistic to think that things will remain the same and in many ways, it is a blessing that these changes happen. For example, my parents were born and raised in Italy before immigrating to the US. When I was growing up, I can't count the number of times my mother used to tell my brothers and me how lucky we were and how good we have it. She told us how she and my aunts and uncles used to eat grass and herbs by the railroad tracks in her hometown because they couldn't afford snacks or treats. (She always used this example when she saw us munching on a candy bar or a bag of potato chips.) To drive home this point, my mother took us to Italy one summer so we could see where she grew up. When we arrived, she walked us over to the railroad tracks and pulled out some grass and herbs for us to sample. I hugged and thanked my mother but had to refuse her generous offer because my great aunt had prepared homemade raviolis with meat sauce and her delicious meatballs with a side of garlic toast which was also homemade, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that I had already eaten 'dinner' by the railroad tracks. I was and am infinitely grateful for growing up in a different generation than my parents and grandparents although I am positive that they felt that I was somehow 'deprived' because I missed growing up in a small town in war torn Italy. I don't have any children but I don't think I would be 'outraged' by how they grew up because I realize and accept that there will be differences. The tricky part is not allowing those differences to create a barrier between myself and my kids so that the lines of communication are always open, and there is mutual respect for each other's thoughts, feelings and ideas. Even when we have a difference of opinion, (okay, or an argument... or two... or three...), I would try to resist the urge to pull rank on my child by saying, "You want to know why? Because I am your father and I said so!" I know it happens sometimes but the desire to understand what my child feels and why would far outweigh the compulsion to 'force' my child adopt my point of view. (I hope what I just wrote does not conjure up visions of 'Leave It To Beaver.' LOL!) You also said: When I used that phrase, I did not mean to insinuate that my grandkids or other children are like 'crack addicts with a different drug.' But I do feel that they spend far too much time on the computer or playing video games. I also don't mean that they shouldn't enjoy themselves by being on the computer or playing video games. I have had some very memorable days with my grandkids when they have shown me what they have learned or what they have found on the computer, or when my grandson has patiently shown me how to play his favorite video game. But when they are engaged in these activities and refuse to eat, sleep, do homework, spend time outdoors, etc, I start to see it as a problem. As I said before, there is nothing wrong with being on the computer or playing video games as long as there is a balance. You wrote: Too idealistic to say hello to random people? And what would be the point? And 'paying it forward' possibly being unrealistic human behavior? Watch and see what one man did and the effect it had on other people. (It is not very long) It is absolutely wonderful and very moving! The amazing thing is that the ripple effect of this man's actions continues on even to this day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4 I was very skeptical when I first heard about what this man was doing. But after seeing this video, and the effect it has had on people all over the world, I am very impressed and touched by what I saw. By the way, I am the assistant manager of a Canadian franchise. Almost everyone on my staff is aged between 13 and 20 years old. (Only three of us are over 20 years old.) I have a very good rapport with everyone on my staff. As a matter of fact, we are all quite close. Although I am the oldest member of the afternoon shift (44 years old), the generation gap is not as wide as some would think. (Of course, part of the reason may be because, as my ex pointed out to me on a 'few' occasions, I never grew up.) Hmmmmm..... I will have to think about that later. Right now, I am going to try beating my grandson's score on Guitar Hero... Thank you for such a thought provoking post, Acglaphotis... Take care... Amadeo P.S. Scribe Rewan, I will be back to answer your post.
Hello Scribe Rewan... You said in your post: [QUOTE](Amadeo's Quote) As a result, the girl took her father to court and the court ruled in her favor![/QUOTE] Neither did I! I am still shaking my head over it... Here is the news story about this incident: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/06/19/father-court.html While I agree that children have rights and sometimes need protection by the law, I feel that, in this case, the judge was wrong in overruling the father's decision to ban his daughter from going on a field trip and from being on the internet. The girl needed to understand the seriousness of her actions. (I read in another article that the girl had repeatedly defied her father - another reason why the court should have ruled in the father's favor.) I agree with many of the points you made in your post, Scribe Rewan, especially the part where you said: Kids are not all bad, and it's wrong and unfair to label them this way. Just like all adults aren't bad despite all the terrible things we hear from others or read about in the news. Lumping people together because of age, religion, nationality, etc. and making a judgement based on these factors is ignorant and breeds mistrust and hostility, and creates barriers that are very difficult to bring down if this type of thinking is widely accepted. Excellent post, Scribe! And thank you for recognizing that all adults don't harbor erroneous views of the younger generation. Take care, Amadeo
