Personally i'd have said that both the beginning and end are flawed - also there's no way anyone other than you can write the middle of the sentence without a lot more context
You're asking us to write the meat of the sentence without knowing what it needs to say. If you don't have the middle, why is the end so important?
Every week he stole gadgets, walking them past security guards whose job was to keep him from doing just that. I don't like it but is it in the realm of what you had in mind?
Ah! A challenge! [Albeit a weird one] He consistently got around security guards whose limbs were all floppy by smothering them in X5 spy-jam and playing them like spoons despite the orders tattooed behind his eyelids that were intended to prevent him from doing just that.
Hi, thanks! The last two are more towards what I was thinking. But I'll bite, why does no one like the sentence? Or the concept? Thanks. Feel free to chime in with more suggestions.
For my money, we know what a security guard's job is. By telling us, you inflate the sentence and it turns kinda flabby.
The end calls for a cleverer beginning than mine. I think it calls for some sort of twist or unexpected turnaround or...something. @Wayjor Frippery 's is better than mine.
The "got around" part at the beginning is kind of clunky. I've dodged or circumvented a thing or two in my life but can't remember a time I "got around" something... unless it was a minor traffic law.
Um, are you going to return here for another four thousand sentences, maybe? I call dibs on the next two.
He consitently got arround secrutity guards whose time was spent watching pornography, despite standing orders aimed at preventing them doing just that He consitently got arround security guards whose feet were embedded in concrete, having spent some time with ready mix doing just that He consistently got arround security guards whose wallets he'd filled with purloined notes, he spent his life doing just that One problem is writing by commitee - just write your own damn sentence, but the bigger problem is that its a classic case of show don't tell - if you want us to believe in this guy as a spy show him evading security, don't just tell us that he does
