I was trying to write a scene that took place between modern college students. I feel I produced something that actually reflects how some college kids speak (not hard, since I myself am a college student), but looking at it is kind of painful. The characters say "like" all the time, speak with very bad grammar, and just sound kind of idiotic, even though they're reasonably bright and educated. So while I feel like this is how kids talk, I'm wondering if it's over the top and if readers would rather see a less realistic but nicer-to-look-at piece. I know it's hard to gauge, so I'll post a little portion of what I have here. It's still very rough, though: "Hey," Inez calls as she staggers in. "You guys seen Julie?" The boy laughs. "Dude, you are seriously wasted." The girl next to him rolls her eyes, and says, "No. I haven't her since this morning. Why?" Inez sighs. "I dunno. We had a fight or something and she's been all weird this week." "Weird how?" "Well, like, sad. She, like, really wanted to go out but then when we went, she didn't want to talk to anyone or anything. And then she got all mad when I made some stupid joke about how she's the only virgin at Avery." The three smile, but but then the girl frowns. "Well, like, you know, maybe you made her feel bad. I mean, she's really sensitive." "I guess," Inez sighs. "Fuck." So what do you think? Is this over-the-top or annoying?