Vanna: I don't know what Foxhounds are in this context, but I can assure you, that's not us. I'm Vanna, I'm fifteen years old, and I go to St. Edith's Academy. These are my friends, some of them from school, and some of them from EMR's other books who I only met here. Henrietta: My name is Princess Maria Henrietta of Cavallia, and I am sixteen years old. It seems as though everybody here is prepared for a fight. I can assure you, there is no need to be on your guard here. You are quite safe. Elsie, would you like to introduce yourself? Elsie: Absolutely not. Strange gods and creatures that talk like children and everyone touting weapons. You're on your own. Vanna: Well, Elsie's plainly in a bad mood today. I'm very interested in the spirits, actually. How long have you been alive? What's it like being a spirit? Henrietta: And am I to believe that the female soldiers serve a land not known in other books? How delightful. I am told that Cavallia exists only in my novel, as well. How did you come to be soldiers? I would love to hear of your daring escapes. And what year is it in your novel? In mine, it is 1732.
Chuck: Foxhounds are terrible people, they’ll either kill you in an instant or torture you for information and then kill you. Jackie: wait... novel? You mean to tell me we’ve been living in a book? Alex: if we’re from a book and we’re participating in this... “chatroom,” then this can’t be “canon.” Chuck: well, in that case, I guess we can’t die here. So... howdy, I’m Chuck. I’m... how old am I again? Twenty-eight? Around there. Daisy: hi! I’m Daisy! I’m not really sure what to say about myself, besides that I think it’s great to meet new friends. Jackie: I’m Jackie, but I’ve gone by many names. I carry this journal with me and document everything that happens, so I guess that’s where the book comes from? Oh, and before you ask, yes, it is hard to write in a journal with only one arm. Alex: and that leaves me. I’m Alex, I’m basically the romantic of the group. I’m married to Jackie, by the way, so don’t get any ideas. Jackie: Alex, no need to get all defensive. Anyway, we’re in the year 2031, or at least, we were when we were back there. What’s your worlds like? Ours is basically destroyed.
Sunnu: Our world is in chaos after the Jade Emperor had a heart attack when I picked up Ruyi Jingu Bang. Jade-Wolf: Well, you did pick up the weapon that tore the entire universe apart on multiple occasions. ANd stop volunteering information! Snow: *winces when Sunnu backhands Jade through a wall* At some point she's gonna figure out Wukongs don't take orders from someone they don't owe a solid. Sunnu: I'm our staff wielder, Dragon Ball is based on my grandpa, and Saiyans can suck it, because my people can't lose their tails and there's nothing we can't learn. Tuo Jie: Except for not being impulsive as hell. Sunnu: We're monkeys! Snow: Stone monkeys who practice the Way of Immortality. after three centuries you'd think you'd have a little more sense than to bounce around like a toddler on enough caffeine to give Lao Zi's buffalo a heart attack.
Clare: Yes, Mr. monkey, sir. Could you make Mugs never grow up? I will give you my sacred fruit-bar ration. It is a Saturday exclusive limited edition item so coveted that officers and grunts alike would start a line on the eve of Thursday just to get their hands on one out of two scores made each week. Mags: Fru-FRUIT BAR!? Gimme! Clare: I'm sorry, buddy, but this is for my own good. An immortal Magsie... this is a Chatroom, right? Could you just skip the two hundred years thingy?
Sunnu: I'm a girl, Clare. And the Way of Immortality is a Daoist practice that the gods will kill me for teaching someone who is not a Stone Monkey of Heaven and Earth. Jade-Wolf: *Crawls out of wall* Sunnu, one day. One day, the table will turn. Sunnu: I ain't worried, my grandpa killed your brothers no sweat, and I have centuries of experience and literally everything on you.
Clare: Oh. I honestly couldn't tell. Mags: FRUITBAR! Clare: Here- No, no. You shouldn't bite it like that. This item is sacred and should not suffer the indignation of being NOT savored for more than three days. The secret of a long-lasting fruit-bar is by taking small nibbles. Not bites, or bucktooth-scraping. Nibbles. Besides, it is 4000 calories condensed into a quarter kilo bar, 4000 calories straight into that belly fold. Mags: Okay. Nibbles. Clare: Good Magsie.
Chuck: four-thousand calories in one bar?! That would’ve been real useful on those days when the hunting wasn’t good. Doesn't help that it’s probably not good to live off of solely raw venison and whatever plants we can find. Jackie: I’m liking the way Sunnu is thinking, and I’m sorry about your world. It’s weird to think about more than a few million people being alive, especially in a collapsed society, it must be chaos. I’ve grown so used to being able to wander the forests without another human soul around, just me and the deer. I could never go back to the world I once knew. Alex: so, how old is Mags? Oh, and speaking of children, where’s Charlie? Daisy: he must have not come with us, I hope he’s okay...
Asiri: 1732? 2031?! Nina: That is…incredible. Our story has no specific date, but it is many centuries before either of those. Sapphire: Is America from that time? Nina: It must be; I have never heard of anything like that. In any case, we came to be soldiers in fairly conventional manners; we went to the capital city of our kingdom, registered for the kingdom's army, and…well, here we are. Kirika: As far as fighting goes, we've no daring escapes to speak of. Asiri: What has the world become in your times? How has everything changed?
Snow: Our world is chaotic. Monsters have pushed humans from most of the world, leaving the wilderness, for the most part, untouched by human hands. It would be nice if everything in the forest didn't want to kill you. Jade: That's why Xuanzang needed four monster disciples; only our kind could take on what lurked beyond the gates. Sunnu: And unlike our predecessors, we joined this mad quest willingly. Snow: Bullcrap. You got mad because you got crammed in a furnace and killed half your subjects. You're in exile. Sunnu: I was a child! I had no idea what was going on! The brazier burned my eyes, I was scared! Snow: Which is why I wouldn't trust you with your own child. Tuo Jie: Does magic exist in your worlds?
Clare: Check out last page, message #1473. I'm not so sure myself, but I gave her her first birthday when we first met. Hey, Chuck. You should get your own hunting buddy, maybe someone with a good nose and portable like Moogs here. Clare: Magic? We got creatures lurking around and I earn extra on the side by finding new ones for the Gecko's List but by far I haven't seen or heard of anyone encountering anything too weird. Well... there are rumors about a corpse of a metal bird and its unhatched eggs but that's just wives tale.
Scalba: Valcura nai? Toncura gal? Nac, Scalba, val kelnac jarhai Talanariad... Tashtumet? Spiacum Tashtumet? Lo? Imlathil e Silthanrin? Khugru Davorshk? What about Romanali? Do any of you speak Romanali?
Truman: * rolls his eyes, runs hands over graying crew-cut hair, stands as he pulls cigar from between his teeth, and spreads his arms wide * Yes! Yes, indeed. Welcome all! Greetings, Magsie, Claire-Claire, Kirika formerly Kathrin and party returning from out of time. Vanna! It's always nice to talk to you. Honored folks with really long titles, I'm humbled to be in your prescence! Rai et. al. Surly unnamed individual with coin flipping skill *rolls eyes*, Daisy, Jackie and not yet introduced friends! And certainly not least, Ralfie and Sir Olger * bows*. I salute you all! * holds up glass, gulps down whiskey, holds out glass * I believe I'll have another! * glass fills * Ah, much better. * sits, puts cigar between his teeth, and puts feet up on the corner of the table * So... what's going on with all you folks? Adventure? Mystery? We've had royalty, talking sheep, assasins, the Alpha team over there, a T-Rex, even a centipede monster! Oh, and a guy who exploded.
Truman: I'm Truman, err... well, I used to be. I'm dead, thank Gohd. I was Truman Jefferson Baker, last President of The United States, and Tyrant of the Unified State of America. They finally let me die, and The Eternal, Seeker, found this place and put it's saved image of me here. It's a fine retirement, I would say. My world was also destroyed, back when I was alive, and Seeker was just an AI. We lead the Third Age of Man back from near extinction, to thrive in a new sustainable society. I called myself The Tyrant because I wasn't elected, well, fairly. The 'election' was unanimous, but it was more like being pressed into service. Too bad for me, I couldn't just leave people to die, or suffer a dark age. I was too good at the job, and nobody else wanted it, especially me. I finally got to die, my only wish. This is a bonus!
Sapphire: We still have no idea what America is. Could somebody here PLEASE explain that? This Truman man says he is the president, which I presume is like a king, so it must be a place, but it is not one any of us have ever heard of.
Tuo Jie: This seems to be an amalgamation of universes that ignores language barriers, allowing those of us from drastically different realities to communicate with few barriers. Sunnu: Speak monkey, please? Tuo Jie: *facepalms* Snow? Snow: Nope, you're on your own. Jade: Of all places in the three planes, a king would have an empty title in this universe most of all.
Scalba: My home was corrupted by a white queen and my father's parents were hounded to death by her ministers. He was raised by strangers before they were killed in a massacre by the Crusaders of the Cult of Blood. When I was thirteen, my father was slain by a knight-mage before my eyes. Now I seek revenge on them all and search for my father's true family, if any of them still live.
Truman: Well, Sapphire, America is a great land mass between the oceans of the world, a 'continent' of sorts. It was peopled with nations of many languages, and divided into North and South. The USA was in the north. We were a trans-continental nation, and so 'ruled', as a federal-republic, between each of the seas. My time, until 2201, was the last of the world, but I was a Tyrant Administrator, not a King. I claimed no right to rule. Well, except for Saudi Arabia, after the disaster. But that was just for show, so they could blame me for their suffering, and not overthrow their true king. We enforced sustainable survival, and he was the hero who saved the Faith of his people. It worked out well for what was left of their continent. Our 'invasion force' was a few hundred kids, who went among them to serve water and treat sepsis, and put protective suits on them. The people there called them, The Great Army Of The Children Of Allah, or something like that. I wouldn't let them give me a title, so they called me The Nameless One. Behind my back, they called me Servant Of The Mercy Of Allah's Will, or some such thing. I didn't want to be remembered in their history, but I felt obligated to clean up the mess we made over there.
Clare: Our place is pretty peaceful, just don't mind the Sparrows watching your every move every day. They don't do much unless you're up to something very stupid. I'll have a mug o' warm milk. Mags: Mango yogurt, please! Clare: The town, if you can call it that, is relatively small so its easy to walk into a familiar face more than twice a day. It makes crimes practically nonexistent and kind of awkward. On the other hand, we have an extremely aggressive market climate of which I am very happy to fiddle with. 'Tis where I sell stuff Mags and I dig. Oh~ the stuff that comes and goes... Mags: Clare-Clare likes shiny stuff and truffles. Clare: I found Mogsie near the market and on the very next day we celebrated her birthday by filing a Finder's Certificate which means Mugs is legally my property! The timing could never be better. It was my seventh birthday, or so did Boss told me, marking the end of the first year of my scouting service, and in turn making me eligible to apply for the ownership of my first find. Magsie passed the evaluation, it's not like she'll explode or anything, and was promptly mailed to me just a few hours later in her very own box! W-With a real fancy ribbon! I will never forget that day. She went "Rar~" out of the box, and I was like, "Oh~". *Clare menacingly draws mini-whirlpools on Mags' cheeks with her fingertips.*
Etzeo rolled his eyes and stepped forwards, sitting at a table, and throwing back his hood, revealing his wavy auburn hair. He blinked, his mismatched eyes stormy, though he did wait to speak until the others had finished. He may be a street rat, but he knew to be polite. "My name is Etzeo. I'm a street rat, former circus act. Deadly with most weapons, and can speak most languages."
"An assassin? I've met many of those in my time. Nice to meet you as well." He tilted his head towards the assassin, Scalba. He flagged the barstaff for a drink, and a glass of whiskey was quickly put into his hand. He took a swift drink, and then turned to speak to the assassin once again. "So how did you end up an assassin?"
