Qualdo: Alright, I wish I 'ad some Alderaanian chocolate. [a fountain of luxurious chocolate appears] Qualdo: Wow! [he sticks his entire face into the fountain, getting chocolate all over his scaly skin.] This is 'eaven! When do I get to meet the gods?
Truman: Seeker... don't start with him... Seeker: Fine... what happens in The Void, stays in The Void. * Truman crosses his arms smugly *
Clare: 'Tent people'. I like it. Fio: Oh! A visitor? Its a bit cramped in here but we can hang out at the lawn. Clare: Can you describe yourself, Qualdo? Age, height, weight, favorite food, BWH, bank account. Profiling is my hobby. Fio: Oi! Can you at least ask politely? Its our first visitor! Mags: Is Qualdo a... a girl?
Sarah: Excuse me! I know that it is rude to order people around when you have not even met yet, but please try and be civil! Eating chocolate does not require making a complete mess of yourself. Arc: Just let him be. It's not like he's hurting anyone. Sarah: ... Very well, I can overlook this. Anyway, hello! I am Queen Sarah Sun, and this is Regent Arc. Arc: Don't use any fancy titles for me. Sarah: It has been a while since we have come here, but there is no need for introductions as we have already taken the liberty of looking at the past conversations. Arc: Damn, guess we just missed May, huh? Sarah: There is always next time. Arc: Hey, Clare, why do you want to be in charge? Take it from me, it sucks.
Qualdo: I'm a boy, can' you tell Weequays apart? Actually, now that I think about it, What are 'umans doin' in 'eaven? I 'aven't met any 'umans who worship the gods. You are 'umans, right? Anyway, I'm about ten standard years. Don't know what I weigh, but I'm like a Jedi-- on the light side. [snickers] My favorite food-- as of thirty seconds ago-- is Alderaanian chocolate. I never 'ad such good food in my life. Makes me glad I'm dead, although I miss my friends. That reminds me, some of them died before I did-- if you're 'ere and you're not Weequays, shouldn't they be 'ere too, if it's not just Weequays that go to 'eaven?
Arc: I don't remember dying. Sarah: That is because we are not in heaven. Qualdo, I think you are mistaken about where you are. This is the Chatroom, a sort of other world where time does not pass and we can meet people from other stories. It is not heaven. As to your death... Arc: Did you actually die, then you came here? Or do you just assume that you died?
Fio: You're the same age as me and Clare! You poor thing! I hope you didn't suffer... Clare: Ah, that's unfortunate. What's being dead like? Fio: Clare! Clare: I'm just following Mugsie's orders. Mags: SQUARGLE! Clare: I see... I see... Moogs says she likes chocolate fountains too.
Qualdo: I went out past the shield to nab guns from the dead bucket'eads. They shot me in the arm, but I kept going, and the last thing I remember was a blaster bolt to the chest. It 'urt, for a few seconds, but then I felt my 'eart stop beatin' an' I ended up 'ere.
Sapphire: A queen and a regent are here? (She curtsies.) Your Majesties. What kingdom do you hail from? Asiri: It must be one outside of England; I have never heard of either of you. I mean no offense, of course, Your Majesties. Kirika: Now, this is all well and good, but I am, truthfully, more curious about the apparent fact that we can summon anything—or, at least, any food—simply by asking for it. Asiri: Yes, that is a source for investigation as well, but you must understand that my first priority is to not get in trouble with a queen. Nina: She is not Laenian; there is nothing she is allowed to do to us. Asiri: A good point. Now, I suppose we ought to test this concept. Kirika: It is ludicrous. Food does not simply appear out of nowhere; how can it do such a thing here? Sapphire: It is not as though this place abides by the rules of our world. Do you not remember the instantaneous lanterns? Kirika: I do, and I suppose that is no stranger. (mutters) O sake ga hoshī nodesuga. (A glass of sake appears in her hands.) Kirika: This…this makes no sense. Has this been conjured from nothing? Or has it simply been transported here? Was it taken from an unsuspecting nihonjin? And regardless, how is this possible?
Qualdo: Maybe this is one of the realms of the gods. Not 'eaven, but some other one. I wonder why I came 'ere instead of 'eaven. [a second person appears, this time a human adult] Com: What the-- where am I? [Com sees Qualdo.] You're dead. Am I dead? I don't remember getting shot. I was just contemplating the will of the Force when I blinked and I wasn't at the barricade anymore. Qualdo: Well, if you're not dead, maybe I'm not either. Com: No. You're dead. We saw your body. I'm sorry. Why did you go outside the shield? Qualdo: I was nickin' blasters. You guys were runnin' low on ammo.
Fio: That was very brave of you, Qualdo. But that was really stupid! Why did you do that!? Well, I guess you earned the snacks. Clare: More like your grownups are incompetent. Why didn't they stockpile enough blasty-thingies? Why would they let you wander around in the middle of a fight in the first place? I mean, not to discredit what you did-- that was... sorta epic if you managed to pull it off without dying, I'd do the same if it counts. Actually no, I did the same stupid things out of necessity and I'm still alive. I'm luckier than you. *Mags can see a glimmer of hubris in Clare's drowning blue dead fish eyes.* Fio: What the-- this is not a contest!
Qualdo: I snuck out while they were talking. I'm little. I thought I could grab the guns without the bucket'eads noticing, but one of 'em did.
Arc: Not a regent, just Arc. Sarah: You will be one, if I have any say in it. Arc: Well, last time I checked, you don't! *They get in each other's face and glare. Then turn away from each other.* Sarah: To answer your question, I come from the Sun Kingdom. It is a modest country, but it is still mine. Arc was born on Wild Island, but he lives here now. Arc: I'm her bodyguard, cause she's too good to do any proper training. Sarah: I have a kingdom to rule! Anyway, you ladies were changed? Yes, it gets confusing when the authors decide to make those changes. We had completely new person added. Arc: We don't like him. So, you're soldiers now? Wanna brawl? Sarah: Arc, we are not doing this, again!
Nina: I should think not. We haven’t our weapons with us. Asiri: I am not certain if we even existed before these edits were made by the author. Nina: Our roles did, but we were hardly the same people. Sapphire: Where is this Sun Kingdom you speak of, and the Wild Island as well, Your Majesty?
Sarah: It would be difficult to communicate location, as our worlds are entirely different. Arc: *Makes a variety of weapons appear in front of him* Will these work? Sarah: *Makes them disappear* We are NOT doing this, again! I can, however, tell you that Wild Island is an area near the Sun Kingdom. They do not like us. Even Arc does not like the people of my country. Arc: Probably cause your citizens are over-dependent weaklings. What about you girls? Hopefully, your country isn't full of idiots who let everyone else do the fighting for them.
Nina: Well, our kingdom is by no means a country. In any case, we do have an army, if that is what you ask. Asiri: I cannot understand what sort of answer you desire here.
Henrietta: What is your kingdom then, if not a country? Vanna: I assume Arc was talking about hiring foreign mercenaries, rather than having their own army. Hello again, Arc and Sarah, by the way. Long time, no see. *A new group of characters enter and immediately head towards Henrietta and Arabella.* Arabella: Ah, here they are. These are the companions I was speaking of. My friends, you must introduce yourselves. Maria Cecilia: I see you speak English. Well, I am Princess Maria Cecilia of Cavallia, eighth child of King Rodolpho and Queen Tryphaena. I am seventeen years old and I am known by my friends and family as Cecilia. Henrietta: Well, that is difficult, for we already have a Cecilia here. She is from one of Esther's other books. The tone here is for first names, you should know. Maria Cecilia: Well, in that case, you may call me Maria Cecilia, Princess Cecilia, or Cecilia of Cavallia, according to your preference. The other Cecilia is not from Cavallia, is she? Cecilia: No. I'm from England. Cavallia doesn't exist in our book - well, I've never heard of it, anyway. Charlotta: My name is Princess Maria Charlotta, and I am fifteen years old. I am Henrietta and Cecilia's sister. Magdalena: My name is Duchess Magdalena of Cavallia. I am the daughter of Prince Adelard and Princess Antonia, and the King's niece. Therefore, I am granted the title "Duchess", although I do not have a duchy. I am sixteen years old. Rose: Why am I consigned to going last? My name is Madame Rose d'Auvigny and I am also sixteen. I am the King and Queen's goddaughter and my mother was Lady-in-Waiting to the Queen. While speaking of the Army, I think it is a pity that women are not allowed to join. I would make an excellent general. Where do you soldier-girls live? I would like to visit and tour the bases.
Nina: My word, there are a lot of nobles here. In any case, our kingdom allows women to join the army, if only because we need every soldier we can get. Asiri: Our author has not quite fleshed it out yet. She also has not figured out our living situations, or how many kingdoms there are in England. Sapphire: There are at least two. Nina: The majority of Laenia’s army is made up of foreigners. Though there is no requirement for us to join, it is much harder for us to find work than it is for English folks, and so we turn to being a soldier to support our families. That was why Asiri and I joined as soon as we were able. Sapphire: That was why I joined as well; to support my father. (Beat) Kirika, you have said nothing during all this. Have you any thoughts? (Kirika is staring at her now-empty glass in wonder, blinking rapidly.) Kirika: It…it has been so long since I have had sake. I would like another, please. (Her glass is refilled) That is…truly incredible. In any case, I would like to ask the rest of you ladies what countries you hail from. If you have a country unknown to us, tell us what language you speak.
Vanna: What's the significance of England to you? Jasmine: And why does your author need to decide how many kingdoms we have? We only have one. In fact, we're part of one. Ophelia: Although there were once more. Vanna: Give it a rest. They're probably from an alternative history-type world. Although I suppose they couldn't tell us. Henrietta: My group and I come from Cavallia. It is not a country that exists in any other book. It lies between France and Sardinia and we speak French, although the nobility, especially courtiers, are expected to know many languages. That is why we are able to understand your English. Cavallia is very cosmopolitan, especially the court, so if you wish to make connections with a person of foreign descent, knowing their language is important. Maria Cecilia: The vast majority of Cavallians speak French as a first language, excepting those near the Sardinian border, who speak Italian. There is also an area a little further from the border where even the peasants are bilingual. Arabella: Those who have foreign descent - which is common, as many Cavallian nobles marry a foreigner as there are not many great Cavallian houses - will speak their foreign parent's native language as a third language. Magdalena: For example, my third language is German, as my mother came from Prussia. Paula: Out of curiosity, do you know what year it is in your book? Elsie: And where is Laenia?
Arc: I wasn't talking about mercenaries, I was talking bout armies... Sarah: Arc, please, just drop it. It has been so long since we have- Arc: Armies are the stupidest thing I can think of! They're dumber than May trying to figure out how to get from the boat to the dock! What happens when the army is defeated, huh? The people are defenseless! Wild Island never had any kind of army, and we've also never had to worry about being taken over! Why? Because everyone could fight, not just a small amount of us! Sarah: Arc, that's enough! Can't you- Can you not be civil, for once?!*Embarrassed* Hello again, Vanna, Princess Henrietta, Elsie, and everyone else. Sorry about Arc, he has been a bit... Outspoken lately. How have you been?
Nina: England is significant to us because we live there. It is where Laenia is, as well as our enemy kingdom, Fraulia. Sapphire: There are multiple kingdoms within England, because our author did not want to deal with the language barrier if we battled the French, the Irish, or anybody like that. Asiri: We are unsure of the exact year, because our author has not figured that out either, but it is what you would call medieval. It is different from your world, though; the events that occur and have occurred here are different from those of yours.
Mags: Albion! Clare: Did you say something, buddy? Mags: Nuffin' *Mags playfully shakes her head.* Clare: If you say so. *Mags senses a hint of suspicion from Clare's dead gaze... She flees!* Ah. Come back. I'm not gonna torture you or anything. *Clare gives chase!*
Yaroslav:*holding a mug of kvass and reddened face* Uleeeshka...*hic* Wut happenz when yu leave tri molody with unlimmited booze for tri months, eh? Oleg: *sober* You had enough kvass, Slava. You too, Jan. Jan:*stumbles while walking* Partee pooper! *hiccuping, hugs Slava and begins to dance a 'hopak'* Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh! *Yaroslav begins to dance for the princesses, with a Cossack sable in each hand while Jan claps.* Oleg: *to everyone* I'm sorry for the spectacle, but you know, a drunkard knows no danger, even if one is my twin... Slava, that's enough! You two aren't impressing anyone! Let's go home!*picks Yaroslav's sabers ignoring his whining. While he struggles with both, a sheep carrying a blue ribbon on his ear approaches* Pancracio: Baah. Oleg: Well, look at that. Is that weird sheep that Jan suspects. Jan: I suspect nuthin'! I know! That thing's not a ship!*burp* Yaroslav: Of course not, it's a sheep! S, H, E, A, T... bl**t... *head hurts* Oleg: Okay, let's go home before the police come and get us to the station for you being drunk. Don't mind the sheep any longer. *The kids walk away, Jan glares with utter suspicion to the sheep, squinting at it until they're away. The sheep glares back unconcerned* Pancracio: *ahem* Greetings. It's so nice to meet new faces, and recognize pleasant company again. I thought it would be good idea to update you about my performance at the "Sheep of the Year" contest, and how has increased my performance as prized sheep. I missed some company, too. There's not many people around the farm for me to chat, even for a brief moment. Quite the fun you have been getting here!
