Ok I'm writing a 3000 word short story and I'm trying to do something a bit different in it. I am attempting to have the main character and the narrator converse within the story... breaking the fourth wall if you will. With the word limit its difficult to do this effectivly but I have managed to get a passable relationship in the later story. The bit I'm struggling with is the introduction and formatting. I ran the story (which is finished first draft) the other half and she said she found it very confusing. I agree. What is an effective way to clearly show the reader through dialogue that the narrator is a character in itself. Below is a snippet to show you just how I'm struggling and also to give you an idea of what I'm trying to achive. Bare in mind this is only first draft so the dialogue content will probably change so its less gimmicky. This is the first time the narrator and main character talk to eachother Thanks for the help in advance! hiya everyone! ------------ “Come on don't do this to me.” said Ben trying to start the car. Stroking the dashboard like a lover he turned the key again. The car suddenly roared like a lioness going for a kill! “Good girl!” Said Ben, relief washing over him like a tsunami washing over...Right, stop that. 'Stop what?'All that tsunami rubbish, I don’t mind you narrating but you’re getting a bit carried away.'I was just trying to make it interesting.'