I'm trying to write this section for my book and am at a complete loss. It's told in 1st person: The person is walking up to a a house and tries to open the door... then makes an 'umph' or 'oomph' sound and crashes into it, realizing it's locked. Does that make sense?
Yes, definitely. He/she's walking at a fast pace. He/she thrusts a hand out, grasps the knob, then tries to push the door open. But since it's locked, he/she walks into the door with a "uh!" and gets a splintery forearm and possibly a scratched face. Then of course, he/she kicks the door. And the stupid thing still won't open.
I'm not quite sure how to write that expressively you know? This is a little example: Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. Oomph! It was locked! Since when?
Hmm....Let me think....How about this: Since I've been to the house so many times, it wasn't really necessary to knock anymore. I walked up in full stride and turned the door. A second later, my face planted into the splintery wood. A soft "Oomph!" escaped from my mouth. It was locked! Since when?
Yes, that is exactly what I needed. I've been writing all day and suddenly came to this part and couldn't get the words out. Thank you so much.
I think what you have there, courtesy of tayleea, works very well. I like 'oomph' very much. Two, minor points: Is, I'd been to the house more fitting? Turn..the handle, maybe?
Hulk: "Hulk not turn. Hulk SMASH!" Hey wait! That wasn't me. I didn't write that. *Ponders just how the heck the Hulk got his password. . . .*
