Ok, I'm watching Discovery Channel this morning and I see that there is a new show called Pawn Stars all about the lives of people in the pawn industry. I personally feel that the channel is really reaching with these new kinds of shows, so this game is about making up a new crazy show for the Discovery Channel about the lives of people in some line of work. Feel free to even add a blurb after your show name to give a description of how crazy the show would be. Start! Tonight on Discovery Channel: Bowling Alley Shoe Renters! Watch as these guys and gals have to deal with the public, unsure of what size shoe they wear. Marvel at the client who wants to be assured that the shoes they have just been given have never been worn before. Life, love, and bowling shoes, all tonight on Bowling Alley Shoe Renters!
You do know Wrey, my mind can get kinda twisted? I have too so behave. Trailer Park Bullies Next time on Trailer Park Bullies: *Angry short guy, holding a can of beer, comes walking across the yard pointing his finger in the camera lens* "Hey, get that *beep*in' camera outa my face, before I break your freakin' neck!" Only On The Discovery Channel
The felon show. This week: robbery in progress. Camera zooms in: man comes on screen in the monotone colors of night vision. Jack: Hello there. My names Jack Grey, and I’ll take you into the underworld of crime. These are professional bad guys. Ah, here comes our criminal now. He’s names Roy. Just look how big he is. He’s headed for that girl on the sidewalk… Roy: Drop your purse b*#$. I ain’t playin witcha. Jack: How long did it take to become proficient at this job, Roy? Roy: Ya know, I just did some crack one day, and the rests just history. I’m mean it b*#$. Camera zooms in: Roy begins to beat the woman, pistol wiping her repeatedly. She is screaming. A dentist-whitened tooth falls to the pavement. Jack: Wow. Is your job always so dirty? I don’t know if I could do this job every day of the week. Good heavens, I think I might be sick. I guess I’ve been at a cushy desk job for too long, like most of us. Roy: Someone’s gotta do this job. Here, get over here and let me show ya a trick to get the purse untangled from the arm. Sundays at 9:00, 8:00 central. Only on the Discovery Channel.
Tonight on Lawn Boys. Jason doesn’t get payed for the third week in a row: “Man! This some old bull-*beep*” ~ Tony gets a new client: “Feel free to work with your shirt off, young man.” “Um... Ok, sir. I guess.....” ~ The Carter twins discover that Miss Taylor has a new dog: “RUN, BILLY, RUN!!!!!!” Only on Discovery Channel
Takin' It Out In Trade Tonight: Elisabeth tells how much crack she can get out of one night on her back. Joan reveals her secret of cheating on kilos. Bill tells all from last week in the Bahamas. Old ladies, easy money. Premeires Tonight Only On the Discovery Channel
Dog Bite Night Announcer:Tonight, we bring you to the Pit. Two brutes will go head to head to see who is tougher, smarter, and more deadly… In this corner, Spike, a hundred-and fifty pound killer. How’d he get here you ask? Well, he ate a mailman… all of him. And in this corner, whimpering and trembling… Michael Vick. Commentator 1: You can see how they’ve gotten Michael ready for this fight by the ring around his neck. He had to lug around a huge chain for weeks. Commentator 2: Yeah, Bob. And look at those electrocution marks. That must’ve hurt. Commentator 1: Here they go. Oooowow. Commentator 2: Your can say that again Jim. That was over fast. Only on the Discovery Channel
On Discovery channel tonight, we follow an expedition of evolutionary biologists into the darkest depths of the internet. There they will search the imageboards and youtube forums for signs of life among the harsh environs of teh interwebz. Many scientists are of the opinion that the expedition will produce the first documented samples of complex, multicellular extremophiles. Some radical scientists are even propsing the idea that they might encounter intelligent life. Find out tonight at 9 on the premiere of Webxidition.
Tonight on Shop Girls. Trini snaps as her freshly folded table of shirts is destroyed within seconds of turning her back. “I will… KILL YOU!!” *Image of savagely mauled soccer mom deleted*
Tonight on Pimp my Pet Man breaks into a house and steals Fluffy while no one is home. Jack returns home. Jack: where the **** is my dog? Two weeks later, the police say they’ve found his pet. Cop: we need you to come down and see if this is your pet. Jack rides with cop down to a warehouse. Jack: oh my God! That’s amazing. Oh my God. That is sweet. Host: That’s right Jack. We’ve taken your old dog and transformed him. Look at the devil-horn Mohawk grafts. The teeth are sharpened caps. Check out the body work. Jack: is it safe to pet Fluffy. Host: sure, go ahead. Just be careful Jack: I can’t believe what you guys have done. Only on the Discovery Channel
Tonight on Christmas in the Wild The host, in snow suit, crawls onto the TV screen. He is a gruff looking man with an Australian accent: Our host: Crikey, the snow’s really pouring down here in the wilds of Iowa. I’m here lookin’ for a creature that only comes to this place in the dead of winter. Looky here, this is its track. That’s right, it looks as though someone took a huge pencil eraser and dragged it through the snow. Our host peeks over a snow bank and retracts quickly, glancing back and putting a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence. Our host, whispering: It’s there, right over this ridge of snow. And it’s a big mean male. Put a chill right down my spine just to look at it. Our host waves the camera man forward and then bounds toward an indiscernible figure that moves sluggishly through the blizzard. Our host: stay back. Stay back. They're dangerous. The nose will poke your eye right out if ya ain’t careful. Our host shoots forward and grapples with the beast. A horror of beady eyes, a carrot nose, and a top hat flash across the screen. Our host: I got ‘em. Oh, poor fellow, since I’m a warm blooded mammal, my heat is melting his body, which is composed almost entirely of frozen water. Crikey, look at that. The teeth are taken from a broken bottle. These fellows are really resourceful. Tonight Only on the Discovery Channel
