Screen see I and type I do creating rhyming thing hope it does not sound like poo Anyway, type type type away words here words up there lets put rhyming word here and then another one down this way lets be fancy and insert a cockle-doodle-do See? It is rhyming with the above do and poo so, I'm a poet and my momma knows it but if papa reads my poems and scribbly-doos he throws the pages down the loo what must I do to get papa to love it? Maybe write about fiscal policy trends and cocks mating with hens perhaps add a verse about how those roman guys went into France and did a bunch of stuff, making armies advance but this looks like prose now so in here a cow and here a meow think that does it nice little poem for me to take home and I hope and ask the pope that this one not flushed shall be down the lavatory
Summer school was fun Until I missed the train and got baked under the sun wishing it would rain rain in California Nah!
As I was walking through Earl’s Court, into a pub I was lured, where a nosey pom said where you from? as I downed the amber fluid. I said get it straight, I’m an Aussie, mate, and I’m fixin’ to get plastered. But the beer is crook and the birds all look like you, you pommy bastard.
School talk Nobody is talking here I guess I'm kinda bored here So come and talk in the school, SIKE I don't want to talk to you Joke I'm just joking so get out of my driveway.
How I lost my jacket I once have a jacket which is color grey, I always took it out to play When I got to the airport yesterday, To go to my holiday When I reached the gateway, I looked out to the hallway Reached out to my jacket and realized it has gone astray! I searched everywhere up and down and everyway and every pathway I gave up and took my flight for my holiday, Crying for my jacket everyday (based on a true story)
This reminds me of a similarly cheeky poem I once thought of: My love is like the sun It will die from the inside out
With its toppings, Each and one of them special, just like my love But when I finish my pizza, I'll order another, So don't even bother-
Toast comes from the toaster Cheese comes from the fridge Philosophy loves an apostrophe But I love Sophy Ridge. Bad as I could manage in the time available.
Create bad poetry That is the purpose, Said the porpoise So if I swim by Your lands today I’ll swim away again Without delay!
There was a rock called Sock He was a jock, He had pet named Block But when he brought Block at school He somehow got an electroshock, And he became a laughingstock
Give me the lute If not, be there a flute I will drum, drum, drum With my thumb, thumb, thumb Wriggle that bum, bum, bum How d’you make that look so cute? DUH!
Shakie shakie shakie in the street, I'm chillin' trynna grab a bite to eat eat eat, Got down on some frozen pizza bite bite bites, Coma toast, GMOs, out my lights lights lights.
What's taking you so long? I really need to pee, I have at least some standards, and cannot use a tree. I drank too many milkshakes, And now I need the loo, Hurry up! why take so long, now I need to poo.
I came up with a tagline for my WIP (instead of actually writing it, natch) and it seemed so obvious I googled it to see if anyone had used it before. But as I was writing it in the search engine, each additional word I typed caused the auto-complete to spit out wildly different sentences, thus yielding this nifty found poem: Humanity’s past the point of no return Humanity’s past is prologue Humanity’s past is in the past Humanity’s past is in its need for meme Humanity’s past is in its future dividends per share
Hey, that looks like fun! (Goes off to try it herself.) Roses grow in heaven Roses grow in shade Roses grow on you Roses grow under a black walnut tree Roses grow beyond the grave.
To Hughm it Might Concern Dearest Hugo, I fear Hugh Mongous, the Monstrous Huguenot, is up to no good. I'm talking about Hugh Mongous the humongous human mongoose. That's right. Hugh Mongous the humongous human mongoose among us is trying to control us. Among us are also the Mongols and their monetary metalmongers. Many merry men among us are warning us of the human mongoose among us and its mythical monstrosities among itself. May we survive the onslaught of the humongous human mongeese and their tiny inhuman marionettes of mash and mesh. They're coming for us, Hugo. Why are we not coming for them, Hugo? Our fate awaits us, Hugo. May it be on our side. Go! Awaiting your rapid reply. Wishes and merriment, Yours faithfully, your faithful minion, Mindy
