Hello, I am a high school student writing an 800-word short story for a coming up assessment. It is about a 14-year-old sent off on the First Fleet from England to Australia as a convict in 1787. I have created the main plot and story. It is written in a First Person from the boy. But feel that I need to create the story, showing it more of the story from the perspective of this 14-year-old thief, who would speak completely differently to today, be uneducated and have seen nothing other than the streets of 1700's London. To do this, I have been trying to put in little grammatical errors, every so often, and trying using hyphens to convey his accent. I have tried to find out what the accent would have sounded like through this source and some others. () I have removed all of these as nothing of what I have done has felt right and reads badly. Also, I have put in some slang that was used in the time. (http://mentalfloss.com/article/500833/30-excellent-terms-17th-century-slang-dictionary). I am also planning to implement scenes of the story where he sees all the things has never seen before, outside of England, such as the different animals, places, and people. And display how this will move him along his Journey, and changes him as a character. Any tips for creating his accent through the writing, how I can make it more authentically from his perspective, and how to build his voice. Cheers
Sorry, see the rules of the forum. https://www.writingforums.org/rules/ ETA: There is to be no posting of college or highschool work. As a parent, I would not want my 16yr old being helped with his homework on this forum.
You may want to read books written during the period or about the period to get a sense for the syntax and flow of dialogue. But often writing in more "Old-timey" English is sufficient because you also don't want to sacrifice ease of reading and clarity for historical authenticity. It's a balance. It might be more helpful for you if you write in a way that reflected his perspective of the word and his education. So a noble might use eloquent words, long sentences, might appreciate finery and scrunch his nose up at the sewers, whereas your character might be in his element on the streets, wouldn't think twice about wading in the dirt, perhaps not even mentioning it, use simple words, simpler sentences etc. As a simple example, a farmer may have no appreciation for wearing a suit - it would be so impractical, whereas a gentleman might be startled at the farmer getting so hands on with the horses and making fire and touching stuff the gentleman wouldn't dream of. If you reflect these views and reactions, I think you'll be fine.
I think it may be useful for you to distinguish between real authenticity and the impression of authenticity. Trying to capture authentic street-speech from London of two and a half centuries ago is probably a bit much to ask for a high school writing assignment, and it may not create the effect you're looking for anyway. Instead, you may be better off to choose a few words or phrases that would signal the general impression you're seeking and leave it at that. (Also remember that when we label centuries, the first century is the one from 0-100. So your link to 17th Century slang is about 100 years too early...)
I think this is where you really try to put yourself in this boy's shoes. He's not educated. He's lived his life on the 'streets' and has either committed a crime or been convicted of one he didn't commit. Perhaps the crime doesn't seem all that bad. He will probably be street-smart, but won't be used to talking to his 'betters' at all. He is probably scared, but also probably won't want to show it, as it will make him vulnerable. This is something new. He probably has never met anybody who's been put on a convict ship and has then returned. The fact that this trip is supposed to be punishment (as opposed to emigration for other reasons) means he has no reason to look forward to the end of the trip much at all. I think you have the makings of a great story here. I wouldn't worry too much about reproducing speech. Just use simple concepts and simple words, and make sure none of them have modern, slangy connotations. Get into his head as thoroughly as you can, and the speech will take care of itself.
I take your point, but I think this one is okay. The OP isn't asking for us to critique the work or do any of the writing. They're just asking for general advice regarding writing accents that are historically correct. I am an ex-teacher myself, and I would commend the student for taking this initiative to learn. I think this shows the makings of a good, careful storyteller.
@jannert Thanks for your civil reply. It's in the eye of the beholder I guess. I guess we can help him if we don't do the work for him.
Given the difficulties and the risks of trying to type out an accent, I would settle for use of terminology from the time, word order and fragments in the dialogue: "See what I've here, boy? "A tuppence, that." I think a young person of the time is unlikely to engage in soliloquy anyway, so I would keep the dialogue short to flavor sections of description and then write the rest of it in straight modern English. That will give it enough flavor without bogging it down or forcing you to become a linguistic anthropologist. I like your project a lot and wish you luck.
I write historical fiction, as does @jannert, who does a SUPERB job with her current work. I agree with @jannert and @BayView. It is the impression of authenticity you want to convey, not the actuality... guttersnipe English of 300 years ago is likely to be beyond comprehension to the modern reader! A little period slang, a few omitted h's and grammatical errors, shifts in word order, that will be all you need. Good luck, and hope you get an A! Might want to save it for future publication as it sounds like a great story.
I still say let's be careful how we advise this student. His avatar says he is 16. His teacher may have gone over all this in class and the story is to see what he learned. Let's just point out, if we should, how to research it.
What's the danger, here? I'm not detecting any advice that is likely to run counter to the guidelines of a school assignment, or fails to be age appropriate.
Not yet anyway. I'm a parent and I know all the tricks. I also got A's from writing book reports from Cliff notes. I have never read "Moby Dick", but I got my "A".
Okay. The OP just struck me as an intelligent and motivated person going well beyond the usual bounds of a school assignment to produce something of greater authenticity than is probably expected, and I didn't understand your animus. It sure doesn't look like cheating.
It isn't animus to just tell people to be careful how they help. You see he hasn't come back to let us know if we are being helpful or not or to clarify. (Maybe he's sitting in class now) So far the advice given is ok, but just don't let him come back here asking for a critique of his sentences or how he could better word something.
Your two posts warning people off just struck me as a little much, as is the implied suspicion in this post. Not every kid's main impulse is to cheat, and I would not feel welcomed by your attempts to police a new member's access to advice if I were the OP. Sometimes preemptively enforcing the rules isn't the most important thing, but extending courtesy and encouraging people to use a resource without assuming they are going to abuse it. This all just comes off as very prickly, which is a shame because I'm so far impressed with the OP's thinking and hope they continue to post their thoughts.
@EBohio is correct, however, that it's against forum rules to help out with schoolwork. So we're right to be treading cautiously here. I think we've probably given out just about as much advice as we can, without tripping over into rule-breaking. As EBohio said, we need to guard against a comeback, asking for critique, etc. The OP just joined the forum and might not be aware of what the rules are. I do think the OP has a good attitude, though, and his story already sounds interesting. Does my heart good that he's taking care about these details pertaining to correct dialogue.
@EBohio, I think you are getting close to offering the kind of advice you are cautioning us against giving. Let's remind ourselves that the OP is reading all this too, and this thread is beginning to make us look in kind of a bad light. The caution was made, point taken, let's all drop this.
Cheers Everyone who has posted. I recognize the worries about breaking the rules of the forums. However, I don't think I am doing much more than looking for another source to try and improve my story writing. Think of it as like me asking my teacher for advice on how to write and tips, not actually getting them to do the assessment for me. All the advice I have read I do think will really help in the creation of my story, and I have gained a lot of encouragement from the thread, so thanks all!! Apologies for not replying earlier, It is currently 8 am here and I only just got up after posting! I have read all of your advice and it is very helpful. Cheers,
True, Thanks for that reminder, I think this slang should be a little more in the time. http://georgiarefugees.tripod.com/oldslang.htm. I agree about creating the speech, maybe a little bit far from that right now, but I will implement some of these slang terms for sure. Cheers.
The old man chased angrily at the children. "You young whipper-snappers! Get off my lawn!" But, he was stopped by a fence that drew a line between his property and the children's. The young woman said, "Come git ya suppa!" She then placed the food bowl on the ground for the dog to eat. While I was working in the bakery, there was a customer who said to me in a very thick accent. Basically, I had no idea what the customer was saying, so we ended up communicating in written language.
