Hey guys, need some help. I'm writing up some lore for a series of short stories / graphic novels & web game that i will get around to later. Thing is, I suck at writing. SO i need some help, from what i managed to absorb while half awake in English class i came up with this brief thing and i want to make it not suck so bad. This seemed like the place to get some help so tell me what im doing wrong. Im a Boss when it comes to art, not so much with the writing. I got some ideas but i cant form the properly with my current writing skill set. ----------- Morte'kal (mourt- kal) Leader: Lord Gerald Harem Overview The deadly group of undead minions known as the of Morte'kal is a most dangerous force. Reigning over the land of Malanthia for the past 2 centuries. With no remorse for any life, human or otherwise they are born again assassins. An elite group of killers without free will. They server as personal guards and slaves to whoever holds their soul chains, the contracts binding them to this world. History and Lore The great sorcerer Gerald Harem was a loyal servant to his master and Lord, The Lord Albert. One dreary winters night the Lord Albert learned of an affair that had been going on between the Lady Miranda and someone in the castle. You see, the Lady Miranda was with child and the Lord, for many years was unable to produce one for her. Most people would see this as a blessing but being the Tyrant that he was, he grew suspicious. Just minutes after the child's birth the Lord took the child into his arms and revealed that he knew that it did not belong to him. He took a dagger and sliced the child's chest open just before dropping it to the ground, where it died only moments later. After letting her watch the death of her son he turned the blade on her, but did not kill her. She was sent to the dungeons to rot for the rest of her life. She was beaten, tortured, raped and later killed by the Lord's men. First Sorcerer Gerald Harem, stood by as this slaughter went on, watching the Lord's thirst for blood grow. 18 years later he confronted the Lord and revealed to him that he was the father of the bastard son that he killed so long ago, and that the Lady Miranda was his lover. The Lord orded him to be executed but was surprised when the blades of his guards were turned on to him. You see, everyone had come to realize that in his old age the Lord had gone mad with power. The sorcerer orded the guards to slay him where he stood. Once this was done, Gerald knelt next to the dying Lord and offered him a deal. A pact of blood that would bind grant him his life and a second chance. Without hesitation he accepted. Using the magic of the ancients Gerald transformed the Lord a walking corpse. An undead minion slave to his every desire, and so the first Morte'kal was born. Gerald Harem ordered the former Lord Albert to gather all of his remaining relatives and seal them in the dungeons. Where he would torture them until their final breaths. Gerald then took the throne for himself and created the order of Morte'kal.