So I work a job in retail at a thrift store, and after today I found myself particularly annoyed with people and the things they do in stores - for example, people will walk right past signs showing prices (i.e., "4 items for $1") and then ask me "are these four for a dollar?" even though the sign is right there, which pushes my patience. People are also pretty rude about the fact that it's a thrift store - you hear those passive-aggressive comments like "oh wow, everything's so nice here!" as if thrift stores can't be on the same level as bigger retail stores (and also sounds like they think retail stores are trashy stores for trashy people, or some other classist bullshit). People also tend to not put their phones down when they're checking out, which is always a delight. Let's share customer service horror stories, shall we?
I have none, but I had a mate a few years ago who worked in Blockbuster. A customer with two young children came in for the movie Jack Frost (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141109/) and he gave them Jack Frost (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116671/?ref_=tt_rec_tt). This resulted in a complaint and a warning. However, he got his act together, even earning an award for "most improved employee" which is a back-handed compliment if ever I heard one. Until one day someone came to the counter with a chocolate bar and said "I can get these for half the price at Tescos", to which his immediate response was "why don't you fuck off to Tescos and buy it then." Alas this time he lost his job.
I worked for many years in a University town, for a privately-owned restaurant that made pizzas from scratch on the premises. We offered a sit-in service, and a delivery service. We took our orders mostly over the phone. "How big is your ten-inch pizza?" Answer this question (without sounding like a smartass or mentioning shoe size) over the phone. (Hint: there is a way, but it can lead to more trouble....) You would be amazed—nay, stunned—to know how many people asked a form of that question over the years. It became somewhat routine. These questioners are the generation now running the country. Kell supreeze.
It took me two whole hours on the phone this morning to get one of our two AT&T phone landlines reconnected after they inexplicably cut off our service. An endless round of talking to moronic robots who kept transferring me to the U-Verse department when it's not a U-Verse problem. The U-Verse rep would always say, "Oh, the robot sent you to the wrong department. Let me connect you to the right one." Then he connects me to the same stupid robot again, and it transfers me to the U-Verse department again! Only this time it's a different person. I explain the problem again, and this time I say, "Don't connect me back to that stupid robot. It'll just send me back here!" So he says, "I'm sorry sir, I'll connect you directly to the right department." And he sent me back to the stupid robot! Finally, after about three or four rounds of this, I got a guy in the U-Verse department who said (after he could tell I was seething), "I'll connect you to the correct department, and I'll stay on the line with you to make sure you get there and not back to the robot." So he does this, and it works, and as I'm explaining my problem to the guy in the right department, the guy in the U-Verse department interrupts me to say to the new guy, "That robot keeps sending us the wrong calls." The new guy says, "Yeah, it happens to us all the time." And they started arguing over who gets the most wrong calls sent by the stupid robot. I actually had to YELL at them to pay attention to ME! So finally, the right guy started paying attention to me. I said, "I want the service reconnected with the same phone number." He put me on hold for what seemed like twenty minutes, then came back and said, "Well, you can't have the same number as you used to have unless you use the U-Verse platform, so let me send you back to that department." By this time I was just about screaming. "No, you idiots! Give me back exactly the service I had with the same number! Do NOT send me to the U-Verse department! This was your mistake, not mine, so FIX IT THE WAY IT WAS!" Another half hour on hold. Then he comes back and says, "Thanks for holding. You know, if you just want it back the way it was, then we can give you the same phone number and everything will be just like it was." I say, "That's exactly what I was trying to tell you guys two whole goddamned hours ago! Thank you for finally understanding!" The service should be back on tomorrow night. If it isn't, ARGH. I will attack the nearest AT&T van I see with an axe!
Probably not enough material in there for a novel, but maybe a short story. Actually, I'm still so steamed about it I hadn't thought in that direction at all.
Many years ago, I worked the overnight shift in a convenience store. One night, a 'customer' came in and announced an armed robbery. A fellow employee who was hanging around was ordered to bag up some beer and wine, which he did, and I, ever the customer servant, asked the robber if he wanted the change from the register. He said, "Show it to me.", so I took the coin tray out of the drawer and set it on the counter. He picked it up and dumped the coins in his bag and put the plastic tray back on the counter, leaving a complete set of right-hand fingerprints. The cops picked him up the next day. I was able to provide further customer service when I testified at his trial, helping to ensure him ten to twelve years of free room and board.
I used to work in a place that sold posters, all neatly laid out flat in poster drawers. Customers could view the posters, but if they wanted to buy one, they had to ask staff to open the drawers to get out a new one. There were about 60 drawers in total, and each one was clearly labeled DO NOT OPEN, ASK FOR ASSISTANCE. It might as well have been written in Greek.
That's actually really smart of you. Surprised you thought of it on your feet though! As for me, horrific customer service... Well, one time we bought a voucher to stay at a hotel for something like 2 nights with dinner included. So, we checked in and went to have our dinner. There was no menu, no option to choose from. There was only one dish available (and no, this wasn't because of the voucher). When I ordered coke, they gave it to me warm, and when I asked for ice, they said they had none. The food was so godawful we didn't go back for the next night's meal. So the receptionist asked us outright, right in front of another new customer, why we didn't show up for dinner the other night. My husband and I figured maybe they didn't even bother to cook normally and perhaps did it especially for us or something. My husband being as kind as he is, made up some excuse about being busy so we didn't make it back because he didn't want to say such negative things right in front of another customer. Oh, and by the way, there was a drop of dried blood on my blanket. The hotel was located beside a very smelly ditch. That's probably the last time I'll be getting any hotel vouchers I think. Oh another time, another hotel - the receptionist refused to give us our room because I didn't have my ID on me (even though my husband did and we've been to hotels before - usually they only require 1 ID, so I don't know what this person's problem was - maybe she was just grumpy about working the night shift) to the point where she called the manager and the manager had to allow us in. Once inside, the walls were cracked, the sink was chipped, and there was drunkards outside. The breakfast that was included was served in the basement with the cheapest hotdog sausages and watered-down orange juice. This wasn't on a voucher. It was just a crappy hotel - 3 stars, would you believe it?
Hahaha that'd be very ironic if that was the case, considering we'd just come from our own wedding!!!! Wedding night was not so great and my husband still regrets it - he sees it as slightly his fault for not researching properly and reading reviews before booking, but I don't blame him. Poor guy organised the entire wedding already lol.
My encounters with customer service representatives are probably more frustrating for them than for me. For example: Me: My computer won't turn on. Customer service guy: Is it plugged in? Me: OK, bye.
I worked for 3 years in the customer service department before I escaped on the enquiries helpline for the organisation. 90% of calls were routine, standard, thank you very much and goodbye but out of the 6 of us that worked on the helpline I just had a knack for getting the mad calls. I was called all sorts: 'phone monkey' and not just any old moron, a 'complete and utter moron' are probably my favourites. It was mostly environmental stuff. I got 'I HAVE A SNAKE IN MY GARDEN' screamed at me more times than I can count, along with 'I'm 8 months pregnant and I just saw a fox in my garden'. Whenever The Birdman (a vigilante animal rights activist who the police were watching) called he seemed to exclusively get me on the other end. A man who was going camping in one of our nature reserves asked me how deep he should bury his poo. Then one of the guys decided he didn't like his chair and would steal mine. The following day he had 4 deranged calls one after the other. Moral of the story- don't steal my chair.
Oh lord, I think I eventually told him 'away from a water source and as deep as you can so it's properly covered' and then referred him to the park warden to check they were ok with his 'travel plans' because they most likely had facilities for him to use. I didn't hear back from either the customer or the warden.
When I worked at LLS, Comcast was one of our clients. They would have to actually deliver real human turds, in a box, hot and fresh, to their customers' doors, to be any worse.
