I had a rough day today; actually it’s been a rough couple weeks, so I thought I’d share something that made me feel better. List five things you fear the most or that hurt you the most. These would not be small or trivial things. They would be the emotions and fears that keep you awake at night. The ones that hold on and never let you go. Mine may not make sense but they are very real. 1) Dropping the ball. 2) Saying goodbye 3) Not getting to say goodbye 4) Fear 5) Losing you Now that you are beyond depressed, think of five things that make you smile spontaneously. Don’t think too much into this. Just list the first things that come to mind. 1) A flower just about to bloom. 2) My kids, first thing in the morning before they are really awake. 3) Dancing to the song ‘I got you babe’ with my boys in the kitchen. 4) Watching my cat try to lick the tip of his tail. 5) Spending time with you. Okay, that’s it. It worked for me, so maybe it will work for someone else.
1. Thinking about my dead grandfather 2. Thinking about friends 3. Losing someone I love 4. Thinking about losing friends 5. Thinking about losing myself Things that make me happy: 1. Writing about how I feel 2. Reading and escaping the world 3. Listening to really rock hard music to shake the stress away 4. Talking to myself 5. Watching the world slowly pass by me
My five downers would be... 1)Stress over what I can't control 2)Missing my family 3)An argument with a loved one 4)Deadlines 5)Loneliness What makes me smile... 1)My daughter saying "I love you Mom." 2)Hearing my favorite song on the radio 3)Reading a good line 4)Memories of my Grandmother 5)Walking into the surf on the beach
1. Knowing that I'm not as good of a person as I try to be. 2. Not keeping a promise. 3. Not having friends or anyone close enough to talk about important things with. 4. The fact that I am lazy. 5. The thought that I might never become close enough to anyone to marry. 1. A woman's smile. 2. The feeling you get after doing something hard. 3. A good book. 4. Knowing that even though I could be better I don't have any big "sins" hanging over my head. 5. Seeing something grow.
Hmm... Depressing: 1. Losing a good friend. 2. Offending someone 3. Not living up to expectations 4. Thoughts about my home 5. Memory of only the bad times Uplifting: 1. The smell of pancakes in the morning air 2. Talking with my good friends 3. Having someone to go to 4. Looking into the vast heavens above 5. Feeling the wind in my hair
1. Reading books that make me realise just how worhtless my life actually is. 2. Worrying about what my life is going to amount to 3. Whether it will rain the next day as I do not have an umberella or a hood on my coat 4. Thinking about New Zealand 5. Realsing I am in no way special or magical or anything as I always wished I would be as a child, but just an ordianry girl, like everybody else. And the happy things ... 1. Watching babies laugh on this advert that is one TV 2. Writing towards my novel 3. Reading a much loved book 4. A mug of hot chocolate 5. A really good TV programme like Greys Anatomy or House
i no long fear anything... and nothing keeps me awake at night... what hurts the most in my waking hours is: 1. humankind's behavior 2. humankind's behavior 3. humankind's behavior 4. humankind's behavior 5. humankind's behavior
Nothing bothers me except Eternity With No One To Share It and my constant Nostalgia. I do have something that keeps me awake: random philosophical thought. Things that make me happy: 1. Beautiful Scenes of Nature 2. The Sun 3. Albizia Julibrissin, Buddleia x Weyeriana, and *Unidentified* There is one final flower I'm searching for. It needs to be white.... 4. Nostalgia 5. The presence of my loved ones.
Knowing that I don't fit in, and I probably never will. Knowing that i'm not as okay with being different as I thought I was. Admitting that this was all wrong, we rushed this, and I have to apologize. I'm not as much of a good person as I think I am- and most people don't think I'm a good person either. Losing all of my friends because I can't take this sh** anymore and I'll retire back to my corner. Things that make me happy: Your smiling face in the morning sunshine Listening to music Practicing with my band Just walking around with you, not thinking, not caring- just living in the moment new Project Runway episode
I try not to dwell on the negatives and would rather concentrate on the positives. But maia has nailed it on the head really. so the positve things would be that I have two wonderful children and a partner that loves me and I am able to keep food on the table and a roof over my childrens, and my parents heads.
My uppers include: 1. Waking up to a new day 2. Learning something I didn't know before 3. Finding that I have found the solution to yesterday's problem in my sleep 4. Seeing the beauty in a mundane, everyday thing (event, object, ...) 5. Friends and family I refuse to focus on the downers. They don't deserve the extra attention.
Me too. I like waking up at 6am, when the world is quiet and there's that nice dawn glow. It's peaceful. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen very often.
Fears and Hurts : - Recurring nightmares. - Feeling "too much". - Loving D.P. (from afar), despite him having prior commitments. - Knowing that I'm one of those people who will be alone for the rest of my life - Funerals (someone else's or mine) Stuff that justl lights me up: - my kittens - standing so close to D.P. that I can smell the heat off his jacket - walking in on my younger brothers doing air guitar - squatting in a corner of the rooftop of our office building mouthing the words along to Elizabeth Gaskell's North & South. - my older sister
Fears - none. Just a short list of some of my favorite uplifting things: (not in order of preference) 1. (Sound) Rain late at night, drumming on the back patio roof. 2. (Sight) The quick smile on my 5 month old granddaughter's face each time she sees me. 3. (Taste) Good BBQ ribs. 4. (Touch) The touch of Dink (mini dachshund) as he rests his head on my bare foot while I write. 5. (Smell) Baking cinnamon rolls in the oven. In essence, I bask in all my senses from waking to falling asleep every day. And beyond "senses" there are emotions. For example, the flutter in my chest when I bring a smile to a child's face (any child) when he or she opens a book I provided and sees exciting pictures. Watching the awe in my son's face when he was 11 and we watched a life and death struggle between a garter snake and a frog while sitting quietly on the side of a hiking trail. (My son wanted to save the frog until I asked him if it was okay for the snake to die of starvation. It was a great lesson in life for him.) I could go on all day about things that bring me great pleasure because life itself is defined by the way you look at it. I choose for everything in my life to be exciting . . . even writing this silly post!
oh, yeah, salty!??... what? ;-) what's that, pen?... how would you know, and even if you're right, what makes you think i'm like 'every woman'??? nothing, really... having divested myself of 'self' over a dozen years ago, i don't look to be happy, or have any goals, or wants, or needs [beyond eating and sleeping]... that said, while unable to be 'happy' myself, while living in world in which so many endure such unhappy lives, many things do give me moments of 'joy'... such as: hearing the birds chatter and sing outside my window, whether or not i've shared my breakfast cinnamon buns with them... the happy faces and heartfelt thanks of my so-needy tinian neighbors when they leave here with things that were donated by their fellow islanders and books sent to me for them by those i mentor all over the world... hearing barack obama become the first person of color ever nominated the presidential candidate by a major party in the us, where people of his race were brought there as slaves, still remained disenfranchised only a few decades ago, and are still badly affected by bigotry... seeing the stars twinkle so clearly and sharply at night, in a place where no lights or pollution get in the way... being sent the latest photos of some of my children and grandchildren... a beautiful, soul-moving piece of music... the feel and smell of my freshly-changed sheets when i go to bed after a long, tiring day... the friendly waves and smile-lit greetings of everyone who sees me whenever i walk to the grocery store... ...and plenty of other small blessings... but no, nothing makes me really 'happy'... i know too much, to ever again be 'happy'... in between those fleeting moments of 'joy' is only enduring, overwhelming sorrow and despair... and no, it's not easy to live with... so, when i'm at last allowed to leave this poor, benighted world, i'll go gratefully, for finally being 'released'... ...sorry you asked?
Oh crap...I was sort of hoping you would just skip on over that little part of this thread...sorry. You know I adore you, so don't take my head over this post. I am never sorry to ask of someone’s happiness ...or their pain. Life is not possible without the two coexisting somehow together. My issue has been in learning to balance them out. I will admit that in my selfishness perhaps reading these little posts have taken my mind off my own pain. I am sorry about that everyone. For me the moments of pain are devastating and long, but interestingly it's those little bursts of joy from the 'little things' that get me through the day. I have to find those moments Maia, or I would completely lose it. I know I'm younger and not nearly as wise, but maybe and I'm just saying maybe...actively searching for those little moments of happiness might not such a bad thing.
Well, we're making progress mammamaia . . . at least you're admitting to "moments of joy." LOL You and I are like yin and yang, two parts of a whole, the hopeless optimist exchanging semantics with the convinced cynic. The important point is we both strive for some of the same things in life . . . like bringing a smile to others who may be less fortunate. Hugs back to ya, maia.
thanks for the hugs, salty!... i sure needed some about now, having woken up to the insanity of mccain's senility in his choice of a running mate... but let's not clutter up this thread with that debate... you still haven't answered me on this, pen, though i do appreciate the reaffirmation of your platonic love for me, sweetieheart... ;-)
I know I didn't answer you and I'm not going to. I'm not touching this again, nope no way. I leaned my lesson the first time round. Well look at that, I can learn.
brava!!! but i really want to know what you were referring to, so if you'd do this old woman a big favor and at least tell me in an email, i promise not to chew you out too badly... ;-) my curiosity can't stand not knowing! maia3maia@hotmail.com
It is never a bad thing to look/find, those little moments that may possibly bring you happiness. We all deserve to be happy, or have moments of joy at some point. Maia is very unique from everyone else, not in a bad way though, and she sees the world very differently. We all know this and still luv her for the way she is. Because she is able to bring a completely different view to us, in a way that we may never have seen before, or a way we are all ignorant to. (I hope you don't find that offensive maia) But honestly, being happy isn't a bad thing and it is really good to go out and try to find, even the smallest of objects/moments, to be happy about. From the birds beautiful song, to a grain of sand, or the sweet sun rays glistening through the surface of the water. So I hope you find something to be happy about penhobby, even if it is only for 5 minutes a day. Hugs to you.
