describing this gorgeous scenery

I just read this and I have to say i really enjoyed. Especially the underlined part. Keep up the good work.

 

I look forward to seeing your description here. Take your time.

 

How would you describe this lady and her hair?

https://comps.canstockphoto.com/chinese-woman-stock-photo_csp4852712.jpg

What if her hair were arranged in circles? I don't mean curly hair. Straight hair lying on the floor in circles...

Imagine something like this but instead of oranges, circles that are formed with the hair:

https://previews.123rf.com/images/deagreez/deagreez1909/deagreez190906454/130568244-vertical-side-profile-top-above-high-angle-view-photo-beautiful-she-her-lady-lying-down-among-flower.jpg

Another example:



I would really appreciate your contribution.

 

I wouldn't.

The last one is a striking photographic image, and in that medium it works really well, though it's a bit surreal. Are the flowers floating, or carefully placed over a long period of time so as not to disturb her hair? (It's just a rhetorical question, no answer expected.)

In writing there are other kids of effects that result in equally striking 'imagery', but it isn't necessarily visual imagery. Instead it works natively in your mind in the way that only words can, and in particular written words. It's a medium of it's own, and it doesn't work well to try to translate effects or images from other media into writing. Just as if something works well in music you wouldn't try to explain it to somebody be telling them about it. Well, I mean sure, you can try, but it's going to fall short.

 

Honestly, I enjoy embellished and dramatic description of pictures via words. I'm not at a level of being able to dramatically describe such pictures and I could use your help:

 

I wholeheartedly agree. As someone who primarily writes action heavy stories, I came to realize that while the written word is my favorite storytelling medium, it does have its limitations. For example, reading a blow for blow martial arts battle isn't as awe-inspiring as watching one.

 

For me, words are more powerful than anything else. If someone described the last picture in a poetic and dramatic way, they would be making my day.

 

Well, I'll try to do something similar. But honestly that image doesn't inspire anything 'writerly' in me, or any kind of event or action or memory or anything—as I say, it's only striking as a photographic image. But it can spark similar ideas that would work better in words. Let me try this real quick:

What I remember most is her hair. Long, flowing, silky. The way it felt when it brushed against my skin, like fresh spring flowers and satin bedsheets at the same time. The moment that stands out most is her angelic face hovering above mine, so close I could feel the warmth of her skin; that beautiful hair cascading down like a curtain, enclosing us in our own private theater. Then she moved in closer, went out of focus, and from there the visuals give way to physical sensations, sound and movement.

 

I appreciate that Xoic.

 

Imagine you are writing a story. You intend to describe a young woman lying on the bed drowned in her thoughts with her hair scattered all over the place like this. And you intend to describe it in a poetic and colorful way. What would you say? :

 

That image (and the one before it) immediately reminded me (obliquely) of 2 songs.

Thunder Island by Jay Ferguson:

Sha, la, la, la, la, la, my lady.

In the sun with your hair undone.
Can you hear me now callin' your name from across the bay.
A summer's day laughin' and a hidin'
Chasin' love out on Thunder Island.

Hey, hey, hey, hey

She was the color of the indian summer.
And we shared the hours without number.
Until one day when the sky turned dark and the winds grew wild
Caught by the rain and blinded by the lightning
We rode the storm out there on Thunder Island

I held her close
Until the storm passed
And we fell down laughing in the wet grass
Both our bodies drying in the sunshine,
Sweet sunshine

So
Sha, la, la, la, la, la my lady
In the sun with your dress undone
Now every mile away and every day
Cuts a little bit deeper
I'll remember the nights in the cool sand
Makin' love out on Thunder Island


.... which then reminds me of The Boys of Summer by The Eagles (written by Don Henley):

Nobody on the road,
Nobody on the beach.
I feel it in the air,
The summer's out of reach.
Empty lake, empty streets,
The sun goes down alone.
I'm driving by your house
Though I know you're not home.

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got your hair combed back
And your sunglasses on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone.

I never will forget those nights.
I wonder if it was a dream.
Remember how you made me crazy,
Remember how I made you scream.
Now I don't understand what
Happened to our love.
But, baby, I'm gonna get you back,
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of.

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
I see you walking real slow and you're
Smiling at everyone.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone.

Out on the road today I saw a Black Head
Sticker on a Cadillac.
A little voice inside my head said:
"Don't look back, you can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was.
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever.
I should just let them go, but...

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got that top pulled down,
And that radio on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,
After the boys of summer have gone.

I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got that hair slicked back,
And those Wayfarers on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,
After the boys of summer have gone.

Lol, I notice a certain theme in my contributions today. But then these last couple of images do seem to lead in the same direction, as the songs do. Song lyrics are a specialized kind of writing, with the extra dimension of music to enhance the imagery and the mood.

 

Reading those lyrics made me realize one reason I seem to automatically rebel against describing a photographic image—because an image is still. It's a frozen moment. Nothing in life is like that, nor in stories, memories, actions, narration—all the stuff that goes into stories is in motion or somehow active and alive, unless the author pauses to record a still scene. Which can be done and done quite powerfully, but usually because the description implies other things, like memories, emotions, or possibly the imagery includes some foreshadowing or is evocative of something else in the story. Looking at nothing but a still image, detached from its story or its context, there's nothing like that to latch onto unless I create it in my head, which is artificial unless it reminds me of some powerful event or moment in my life. Songs and stories both include the element of the passage of time, which includes movement and depth and allows for a much fuller range of development besides simply the visual.

I think that's why the first one I really responded to on this thread was the video (which I had seen before, or one very similar) of the vultures and hyenas, because that was in motion and filled with life (and death) and conflict.

 

Maybe this will provide more details as to where I'm going with this.

I wrote this myself.

She lay on the floor...her lustrous tresses spread in circle brown waves as she gazes into the sky.
She was drowned in her thoughts.

Is this okay? Obviously, I need more and I need to make it better. I think there some beautiful metaphors and similes out there and maybe you could help me with suggestions. Can I somehow make a connection between the lady drowned in her thoughts and the waves of her hair?

 

It's definitely a good beginning. I agree it needs some development, but as a rough start it works well. That's how I usually work anyway, first just throw down whatever comes to mind, trying to capture the feeling I'm after, and then think on it and add more by stages. I would think also about why she's on the floor, it suggests a backstory that could be very interesting if not too cliched. Where are you in relation to her and why? Are you standing above her? You'd need to be to see her from that angle, or maybe seated in a chair or on a sofa, or you might be lying face down looking over the edge of the bad at her. And of course the way that girl is laying and the look on her face suggest all the reasons and the backstory, as well as the scene to follow, which would need to be posted in the Erotica section.

One thing I dislike about these kind of digital-age stock photos is the clean crisp look, which tends to be very sterile and unrealistic. Everything is too clean and brightly lit, as if set up for maximum visibility, not for a mood or realism. I generally prefer photography from before digital cameras, like the early 80's or before, and with some dark shadows and some grit to it. But that's personal preference. Much of that (older) photography also suggests a story, rather than just a pretty model posed artificially under brilliant sterile lighting with a small army of hairstylists and makeup artists standing by just offscreen to touch her up between each picture. One thing I:m thinking of in particular was the photography for 80's fashion magazines like Vogue. Hey, my mom had a subscription, and they were always laying on the living room table...

 

Since I'm not a native speaker, I don't if this sentence is okay and it's not strange:

She lay on the floor...her lustrous tresses spread in circle brown waves as she gazes into the sky. She was drowned in her thoughts.

Does it work?

And how can I make a connection between the lady "drowned" in her thoughts and also the "waves"? Is that possible?

 

How would you describe this palace hall?

 

He stepped into the palace, instantly stunned by the gold like a smack in the face. Gold from floor to ceiling, and pillars in between. Technically it wasn't all gold, but it took Roger several moments of blinking out the overwhelming color to realize this. Frescoes covered the ceilings and detailed various nooks and crannies -- no bare wall dared peep out from behind the mass of paintings and golden carvings. High, curved arches to the right allowed the visitors and sunlight in, and matching windows to the left protected the palace from both. Long, drooping chandeliers of crystal held their lit candles proudly; all Roger could imagine in looking at them were the poor souls on ladders who actually had to light the things. Of course the golden women clad only in a swath of sculpted "cloth" caught Roger's eye not long after, and he held his gaze there until the necessity of opening a door forced him to turn away.