1. eroche

    eroche New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    Do i need a comma here?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by eroche, Apr 18, 2012.

    Do the following sentences need the comma:

    When it is employed as a literary device, comedy breaks a tense atmosphere
    When he worked as a salesman, he drove a Ford car



    I think not, but I just want to make sure.

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. thecoopertempleclause

    thecoopertempleclause New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2012
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cornwall, UK
    No for the first sentence.
    For the second one, you'd be better using 'While,' instead of 'When.' In which case you would need to keep the comma.
     
  3. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    sorry to disagree, but they both need a comma, to set the modifying clause apart from the main part of the sentence...

    and i see no problem with 'when' in the second sentence... in fact, i would prefer it to 'while'...
     
  4. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Listen to what your Mamma tells you.
     
  5. CH878

    CH878 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2011
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    England
    Technically yes

    However, in these particular cases (especially the first) unless you're aiming for a very formal register, few people would pick up on it and even fewer would care. It all depends who your audience is, I write YA, so sometimes I use non standard grammar to get the 'voice' right.
     
  6. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    that's fine, if it's dialog, or the voice of a narrator... but stinting on proper grammar just because the readers supposedly won't know any better doesn't sound like a very good thing to do, imo...

    as an editor, i sure wouldn't let the writer get away with setting a bad example, if there wasn't a better reason than that for it...
     
  7. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    I would have thought that dialogue would be the worst place for it, because you can't hear punctuation marks (unless you do them the Victor Borge way). An obvious place where dropping the comma would be acceptable would be in something a character has written.
     
  8. Trilby

    Trilby Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,097
    Likes Received:
    73
    Location:
    NE England
    Both sentences need a comma.
     
  9. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    dig... i wasn't referring to comma use, only to 'non-standard grammar' in re this comment:

    i thought it would be clear, since i was following that post, but i guess i should have included the excerpt... sorry for the confusion...

    hugs, m
     
  10. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Ok, I hadn't noticed that we'd drifted from the original question! Agreed completely in that case.
     
  11. Jhunter

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,218
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Southern California
    I would use a comma in both sentences as well.
     
  12. lorilee

    lorilee New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2012
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Canada
    I say both. Read them out loud and see if you pause anywhere. That's always a good way to check.
     
  13. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    That hasn't been a good way to check since about the 19th century. It <em>used</em> to be the basis of punctuation in English, but nowadays punctuation is pretty much all about the grammatical structure, not the phrasing of the corresponding speech.
     
  14. lorilee

    lorilee New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2012
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Canada
    Since grammatical structure came from the phrasing of the corresponding speech (since that's what it was originally based on), it's a perfectly vaild way to check. The human mind will fill in what it expects to be there when reading silently, like missing punctuation, typos, etc. and those mistakes often get missed. You can't do the same when reading aloud.

    And last time I looked, I and others I know that it works for live in the 21st century.
     
  15. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    That's a more controversial statement than it seems, actually. Much of modern English written grammar didn't come from (English) speech, it arose specifically for written language, mainly following the development of printing.
    But punctuation marks in contemporary English don't correspond all that well with pauses in speech. When you read it out loud you don't necessarily pause in the same places as modern convention would require you to put a punctuation mark, and if you put punctuation marks everywhere you pause the result will be over-punctuated. There is a value in reading a passage out loud, but it's when you have a choice of how to punctuate something (punctuation being, as G V Carey noted, two-thirds rule and one-third personal taste). Then the flow of how it reads out loud can help you make informed choices.
     
  16. madhoca

    madhoca Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,604
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    the shadow of the velvet fortress
    Both need commas.
    Agree with digtig--the 'put commas where you pause' idea is, unfortunately, flawed, and will do nothing for your accuracy in punctuating prose. People have different cadences of speech, anyway. Much better to learn basic rules--although the rules can be bent in poetry, idimatic speech etc sometimes.
     
  17. jazzabel

    jazzabel Agent Provocateur Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,255
    Likes Received:
    1,688
    Yup, both need commas.
     
  18. Areadrill

    Areadrill New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2012
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    You can change the sentences so that none of them needs a comma:

    Comedy breaks a tense atmosphere when employed as a literary device.
    He drove a Ford car when he worked as a salesman.
     
  19. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    both of those technically still need a comma before 'when,' since it still introduces a modifying clause, though one's styling preference might see them left out...

    listen to dig and mad on all else... they're right!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice