Recently I've been writing a story and my friends say they love the idea, but that's what friends are supposed to do right? This is the basics of what its about, does it seem interesting to you? I still have to work out the main plot and other details but right now its pretty much... A 14 year girl named Phena is the Captain of the Eagle Station. The Eagle Station is for teens who are Gifted, meaning they have some special gift such as controling fire or water, reading minds, or maybe they're an exceptional fighter. People who are Gifted are known to be so by their hair color, they have a base or natural color but streaks of unnatural colors. It takes place in the country of Mithalin where most people are wary, if not terrified of those with a Gift. King Darmor had no problem with the Gifted until one tried to attack him. He started to believe all Gifted were angry with him because of the way they are treated in his country. He decides he needs to capture them and try to stop them. Phena and the some of the others travel to his palace to convice him this is not the case. Along the way they run into trouble with his soldiers, but also make some new friends. Please let me know if this seems okay, or anything that could make it better. Thank you!
This sounds really interesting. And i really like your names - Phena, Eagle Station, Mithalin and King Darmor. However this sounds like it needs more umm...well more i guess. It doesnt sound convincing enough like its a bit of a shallow reason. Perhaps of instead just one person attacking him he discovers a plot to assasinate him through uncovered secret messages between them or spys and there is a much larger group of them. Therefor the reason behind his worrying that they may all be agianst him seems more realistic.
What happens if a gifted dye his/her hair? (or shave their heads, for that matter?) Or if a non-gifted dye his/her hair to look like a gifted? Maybe it's just me, but I would perfer a more permanent solution. Different eye color (yellow, red etc), a tail or whatever. Something that isn't too easily disguised. And am I the only one who started thinking of the X-Men?
Yeah agree. Hadnt thought of that. Unless ofcourse you wanted to use that for alot more plot oppurtunities and create situations where this actually happens. Hidden/off the radar Gifted people etc.
Yeah, I was thinking eyes at first then I thought hair would be better. I was thinking maybe it would be impossible for them to dye the streaks, like they would show through no matter what or something but if they shaved their head... I'll have to think about that. I do like the idea of them having a tail or some other part like that. Thanks.
Sounds like a good idea. Cogitos probably going to come with his "the plot doesn't matter its how you write it" post. I do agree with writerdude that mabye a harder to hide sign would be better. And yes I thought of x-men too, hard not when superpowers are mentioned.
I agree with this, the bad guy needs to have more of a reason to be after the gifted people and maybe be more bad. He just doesn't seem threatening enough. Another thought is how could the soldiers be an issue for people with Gifts. It seem like the soldiers would be more of a nuisance but not a real threat. My initial response to the story idea was one of interest and I didn't think of the x-men but even if I had the story is enough different in concept to not have it matter. Now you just have to write it.
A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?
Well what you provide is a mere sketch or synopsis. So I might just be suggesting something that you already have implemented. In any case, if you haven't done so, try to sow a bit of character incompatibility among the gifted. Maybe provide the leader with a nemesis or fifth wheel among the ranks. Do the same with the opposing camp. Don't have things within both camps going smoothly. Remember how the matrix film had controversy within both camps? That sets up subplots and themes that can be interwoven as the main plot develops. Like a river with undercurrents of differing velocities. Don't make the characters all totally morally good or evil. Have them have second doubts about the morality of their actions. In other words, set up an inner struggle to complement the outer one that takes place. Then you'll have conflict going on three levels: 1. Between or among characters 2. Within characters' psyche 3. Between characters and their environment Or as it was once expressed: 1. Man against man 2. man against himself 3. man against the environment
