1. tigerspen

    tigerspen New Member

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    Does this sentence sound weird to you?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by tigerspen, Apr 10, 2021.

    The sound of footsteps breaks the noisy wind.
    I want to say that someone can hear the sound of footsteps despite the loud wind. But I don´t know whether the above sentence sounds odd. How else could I express it?

    I hope this is the right forum :D
     
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I knew what you meant, but you might be better off with "breaks through the noisy wind."

    Unless, of course, the footsteps actually broke the wind, causing it stop blowing entirely.

    Nothing terribly offensive about the way you wrote it originally, though, unless you repeatedly phrase sentences like that. Might get annoying after a bit. Or not.
     
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  3. tigerspen

    tigerspen New Member

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    Hey, thank you! So ´The sound of footsteps breaks through the noisy wind´ sounds ´normal´, right? Or is there a better way to convey what I mean?
     
  4. B.E. Nugent

    B.E. Nugent Contributor Contributor

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    I don't mean to be facetious but if you put "breaks" and " wind " in a sentence, I'm thinking flatulence. I'd suggest changing it.
     
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  5. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor

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    The way the sentence is constructed, the footsteps break the wind, which isn't what you mean to say obviously. Incidentally, I would't use 'break' and 'wind' so close together—it creates a very unfortunate association.

    What you're trying to say is that the sound of the wind is broken by the footsteps, which doesn't work for me. You can certainly hear the footsteps, but it doesn't silence the wind, you'd be hearing both.

    Maybe something like 'Through the wind's constant moaning footsteps rose up, getting closer.'
     
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  6. Idiosyncratic

    Idiosyncratic Active Member

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    Currently Reading::
    Six of Crows
    I definitely prefer 'breaks through' over just 'breaks'. If you were looking for another wording though, something like 'The howling wind didn't hide the sound of footsteps approaching' or 'She could hear the footsteps approaching even through the howling wind' might work.
     
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  7. SapereAude

    SapereAude Contributor Contributor

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    What kind of footsteps? I agree with the above comments that footsteps don't (can't) "break" the wind. They might "break through" the wind, but that still doesn't sound quite right. Thus:

    If the footsteps are heavy, masculine, plodding type footsteps you might say they "overcome" the noisy wind. On the other hand, it the footsteps are a sharp tap like a woman's high heels on pavement, "overcome" might not be the right word. Perhaps something like "pierce the noisy wind" would work better for that.
     
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  8. Teladan

    Teladan Contributor Contributor

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    "Does this sentence sound weird to you?"

    Isn't the answer just a simple yes or no?

    ;)
     
  9. Ellen_Hall

    Ellen_Hall Active Member

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    I'd scrap that tbh.
     
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  10. TheOtherPromise

    TheOtherPromise Senior Member

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    I agree that breaks and even breaks through don't work for me, though breaks through is definitely better.

    I would say something like,

    "Footsteps could be heard despite the noisy wind."

    With probably a little added detail after heard depending on where the footsteps are and what they're doing. Like,

    "Footsteps could be heard approaching from the corridor despite the noisy wind."
     
  11. Catriona Grace

    Catriona Grace Search and rescue Contributor

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    Footsteps clicked on the sidewalk in steady counterpoint to the wind's eerie undulation.
     
  12. tigerspen

    tigerspen New Member

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    Thank you, this was about what I was looking for! :) But can noise ´rise up´?
     
  13. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor

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    Lol, I came up with that on the spur of the moment, think of it as a fixer-upper. Now your job is to fix it. :cool:
     
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